Julie Hilsen: 0:09

Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love, where we meet every Thursday to talk about the magic and living a life of love and sharing our divinity and our divine feminine. The sacred masculine is always a strong presence here on the show and today we have a very special guest, Aasha LaCount, and she’s an experienced, certified emotional, and energetic intelligence facilitator, a keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and consultant with over 15 years of experience. She specializes in working with clients from all backgrounds and levels of achievement. Aasha’s approach is grounded and relatable, with her primary aim being to make energy work accessible to all. She focuses on breaking the cycle of trauma, bonding and relationships, addiction and financial matters. The push-pull dynamics of energy are applicable to everyone, making this work valuable in all aspects of life and people from diverse backgrounds. Oh my gosh. Aasha has an international presence and she served as a consultant in 14 countries. Aasha, thank you so much for being here. I’m so excited to have this conversation with you and I’ve been looking forward to this. Welcome to Life of Love.

Aasha LaCount: 1:22

Thank you so much for having me, julie. You’re such a blessing, and thank you to everybody who’s paying attention and watching and listening, and I’m so happy to be here, thank you.

Julie Hilsen: 1:32

We’re looking forward to everyone’s life of love by the work you’re doing and you have an offering for us which I’m going to make available at the end and having the show notes. But you’ve just done so much to help spread love and acceptance and awareness. I’m just really excited to hear your story. I mean, I know you’ve had a lot of experience and it’s international and I guess Let let the audience know a little bit more about you and and how you come to your work and what you know, just a little bit about how you got to where you are, so they can relate to your story. And then I had some questions for you.

Aasha LaCount: 2:13

Oh great. Okay, Julie, thank you so much for for giving me the opportunity to share. So I have an Absolutely crazy story and I’m gonna share it, and the great thing about this story is that it’s so relatable. Mine was very, very aggressive and intense and it it shot me awake in 2020 To my, to my soul’s mission, which is to heal the planet through my energy work and heal humanity. So in when I in about 2002, about 20 what was that 20? 21 years ago, I Was, I was 18 and I dated a man and he and I had like the sparks of all sparks. It was like you know, like two magnets coming together. I’m putting my hands up, like you know that feeling where it’s like oh my god, and like that rush that you get in your body and everything feels really like hyper and like, oh my god. This is my person and we ended up together for a couple of years and it was so Intense. It was a major trauma bond. He was in his 20s, I was 18 and we had like such high passion, but we also had a high level of toxicity and when I broke up with him, I Left his house and when I left his house, he felt like his heart got ripped out of his chest, like you know, that feeling of like, oh my god. So he actually had that happen and when that happened, he stayed attached in mourning me for 18 years 18 years. So meanwhile, 18 years passes, I end up getting very overweight and Lost. I was a dancer and a performer in my when I was about 18 or 19 and I got lost for All that time. I ended up in my marriage with my, first husband I don’t say ex, I say first husband and we just ended up kind of bonding on a trauma bond. We Didn’t Like. We rushed into it, we had our son fast and we ended up just in a volatile relationship, right like I didn’t know who I was. I was like omitting sex, I was so worried about my business and not worried about him, and you know he’d try to help and I’d be like I’ll just do it, like all these sort of patterns that we take on as women when we’re stuck in like this anxious masculine energy and Then, anyway, eight. And then all of a sudden I started thinking about this man from 18 years earlier and I reached out to him one day in 2020 and I said I’ve been thinking about you and he said why now I Finally just let you go? And I said what? And he said I’ve been holding on to you, wishing you would come back this entire time. And I went you’ve been holding onto me this entire time and next thing I know we went. They call it a twin flame connection and we ended up getting like really hot and heavy again, even though he’s like totally not the right guy. I was toxic it’s always been toxic and I was like, oh my God, I gotta leave my marriage. I’m gonna leave my marriage. I’m gonna. Everything’s changing, shifting, shifting. And then, within six weeks, he dropped me and I went into the worst night of the soul ever. I had the rejection wound, the abandonment wound, the mother wound, the father wound, attachment, disorganized attachment, anxious attachment, and avoidant attachment all at the same time. And I knew it was a calling. I knew that I was being called into my work, so I went in and learned everything I could about energy, emotional intelligence, trauma, and self-worth, and I invested about 180 grand into my development and started my business since then, I’ve taken over $500,000 in sales within like while my entire life was burning down. So, yeah, that was my story. It’s crazy, but it’s proof that attachment truly is the root of everything in our lives, and when we attach to somebody else, we’re also affecting them, and that’s my story.

Julie Hilsen: 6:41

Wow, it’s the classic twin flame chaser runners, you know, switching roles. Yes, and if that wasn’t, enough I had.

Aasha LaCount: 6:52

Since then I’ve had three more, All of them with the same birthday or similar birthdays, same signs, and like the same sort of like synchronicities in like they all have daughters, they all work like a certain job, and so it’s been really powerful to experience that over and over and over again. So I’ve been dumped and dropped about a lot. I’ve got a big abandonment, I had a big abandonment wound, and now I don’t go by that theory anymore. I’m just living my life and creating these situations to heal.

Julie Hilsen: 7:29

And that’s. It’s so evident because it’s the same. You’re getting the same situation over and over and I always tell people I’m like until you work through it it’s gonna keep coming up and your energetics were such that you kept attracting it so much because you needed to run through it. It happens for you, not to you. How long did it take for you to say I’m dealing with the same thing and maybe take that groundhog day moment with a different face, the same experience? Did you notice you were up-leveling and dealing with it in different ways or problem-solving?

Aasha LaCount: 8:06

in different ways. Yeah, yeah. So my method is shamanic healing, quantum light, body, and also hypnotherapy, and those are the guides that I primarily work with, and so I just keep hiring. I look at the men as ladder rungs right, so they’re a version of my inner king, my inner masculine, and then basically I’m ladder running out of them because they all ended up resonating away, and by the last one I was so I’m so unaffected about there’s no pain if they are to resonate away. It just feels like I’m being protected so I don’t look at it like that narcissistic behavior. And look, I know it hurts if you’re listening to this and you’ve gone through that feeling. It feels really, really dense, and I did it with my first husband and then I’ve tried to make amends and fix it and let him know that I will. I wanted to get back with him for a while as well, because I could see myself, and that’s when he left. Then he didn’t want to get back to me. So I was able to see this empath, narcissistic relationship. But when we’re in that pain, it’s so hard to see how to get out, and that’s when I knew I had to develop a program for it, because it doesn’t just affect your relationship. We take the same thing with our businesses as well. We’ll jump from thing to thing, especially women. We grow quickly.

Julie Hilsen: 9:30

That’s a great insight. It’s great insight and none of us are an island. We’re affected by everything, so it’s just being able to see it, I guess, being aware. So you’re helping people see the patterns and yeah, and in.

Aasha LaCount: 9:45

Julie. It’s about helping them see it before the detriment. So I equally support people leaving the relationship they’re in or mending the relationship they’re in, in doing it consciously. So even though I had gone through that in my first marriage, I was still quite conscious. I knew at that stage what I had desired and what I wanted. I wanted to get into more sexual energy work with men, and that wasn’t something that was in line with my first husband, and it was a choice between that relationship or me doing my soul’s work. And sometimes we can’t do both, and I think that’s what keeps people gridlocked, is they’re like oh, what about him and what about this? And sometimes so much so, especially with women, that we hold the truth in without actually even allowing our partner to say yes or no. And so when I was able to finally stand in that as one of my truths, it wasn’t something that was aligned for him, and that’s okay, and he and I talked about that.

Julie Hilsen: 10:46

Our values were misaligned is sort of like facing the bear right you, unless you face it and either run from it or shoot the bear. Whatever you’re gonna do with that bear that the fear is crippling. The fear is your paralysis. You can run through anything you can, you can problem solve or, like you said, you can move on, but you can’t. You’re not gonna make any progress either way by just ignoring and pretending so it’s like just making it a bigger monster.

Aasha LaCount: 11:19

Yeah, and like in mushing it down we all know doesn’t do anything. That’s emotions, that’s energy, and it’s you gonna have to face it. And you’re either gonna face it in a way that it’s gonna blow up or you’re gonna go through your whole life feeling like you’re tight. And for me, I see these things as gifts. Like you have to go toward them. Like what’s going on here? What is this trigger? What? How can I alchemize this trigger within my system so that I’m moving, moving up to my next level? And you know, there’s there’s a part of this to where you’re like I don’t know if you ever understood like have this, julie, where you, especially somebody who, like, works with people, like if you’re a coach or you’re a healer you there can be frustration when people don’t choose, like, the path of finding themselves. It’s it can get frustrating because you’re like but why are we making this so much harder than it needs to be? We can just work through it and or I can help you get to the next level, and it’s like kind of a bit of our codependency and our rescuer, and so it’s about trusting that he’s making the decisions that are best for him. I’m making decisions best for me in same with like clients, right like, if a client like you know you can see their higher self and they still don’t pick the path You’re like, and so that’s like something I think a lot of people in service have to move through. And all of us in life, right like you know, if you have a mother that’s like Got a drinking problem or something, and you want the best for her and you know that she can be better and she’s still choosing not to get better, that’s a very difficult thing for people as well.

Julie Hilsen: 12:53

Oh, it is. It is because we want to help and we see the highest good that we can see and we want, you know, but that’s the whole thing is recognizing agendas. Yeah, it’s your agenda and they might not be ready for it. For your agenda, even if that’s exactly right surrender.

Aasha LaCount: 13:14

Really, the only thing that you can do to help them is just like Be be true, to be love, the empathetic, you don’t have to have like all of these people in your life, but it’s certainly about being and embodying that higher being and body in the higher version of self. That’s going to be magnetic for other people.

Julie Hilsen: 13:35

Yes, I guess you’re speaking. You’re speaking my language. It’s like you live the life, your best life, and then that magnetizes other people to want to live their best life, and that’s, that’s a change. I mean, I just, I honor that you’re creating the space there’s a container for, for all that could be, and you do it in yourself. And then people are like whoa, I’m curious, let me see, let me. I want a piece of that magic because you worked on it and it’s so worth it. I mean, some people are like, oh, this awakening thing, this, you know, this higher consciousness, it hurts, it’s awful, but the other side, it’s so worth it, you know just.

Aasha LaCount: 14:16

I’m like I get a little bit of like come on, let’s go in me like. I got this motivational vibe that I lean into a lot because when you work with me, we’re moving, we’re going like you have to go in. We go inward, inward action eighty percent of the time and then twenty percent I’m gonna make you work, I’m gonna make you take action. I Don’t Work with people who Sit around overthinking the thing. If I see it, I expect my clients to make the change and then those are. That’s how we get results like you have to. Coaches need results in everything, whether you’re playing basketball or whether you’re sitting across from someone you know telling them all of your problems. Some of the teenagers I work with it one of them is like always say that he’s like the difference between you and like my therapist is you make me do things, you make me take action, and it I feel like I’m getting better and better and better. You’re plaguing social anxiety. Now. He’s like completely going to the store on his own and it’s just like he and I are starting a podcast. It’s like amazing and so, and he’s like I just feel so comfortable now because I have you push me a little bit, just a gentle like move. You know he’s about as fast as a turtle, but At the same time it’s his pace right and we just gently say how does it feel to maybe try and do that now? Okay, I’m right here with you.

Julie Hilsen: 15:36

Right, oh, and well, one thing I want to ask you about was this whole idea. I never heard of trauma bonding before, and is it you know? Can you just explain what that means a little bit more, because I’m just really curious. Whenever I hear like a new term, I’m like whoa oh my God, I love it.

Aasha LaCount: 15:55

So that’s the whole premise of my book. The Empath is the Narcissist is the understanding that we are as you know, julie, and I’m sure your audience as well are divine beings, which means we have a masculine aspect and a feminine aspect. So if you are a man and a woman and you are getting into and this it doesn’t even matter if you’re straight or gay, even right, it’s masculine predominant and feminine predominant You’re going to link up together and you’re essentially linking up to fill a hole that the other one is missing. So typically this shows up with one person in the relationship being codependent and like give me love, give me love, give me love. And then the other one being like ew, gross, avoidant of that love, and so there’s, and then what happens is maybe one person starts to grow. This is what happened in my case. I was starting to grow and then I was getting more stable and present and that maybe caused a little bit of avoidance and then I realized I wanted to pull away again and that caused a little more codependence. So the idea of a trauma bond is like they link together on those wounds and we’re looking like this shows up in relationships where it’s like he’s not emotionally available. If he just changed, everything would have been better. If she just did one more thing, then everything would be better. And it never works Like. It never works, it’s only about your inner feelings. I will say another thing, though, In that relationship dynamic, the narcissistic person has a higher state of they can see. They can see higher because a narcissist has high frequency. They have a high level of manipulation. They just have a really big ego. They can’t see themself, but they can see everybody else. That’s why they’re so charismatic, so they actually can see a higher version of you. So they are helping you, but it’s never good enough. And then, all of a sudden, they may help the codependent enough so that the codependent’s like I keep, all of a sudden has an aha moment and is like but I keep changing and it’s not good enough for him. I keep changing and it’s still not good enough. It’s still not good enough. And what you want is that codependent to get to a place where it’s like yeah, now this ain’t it anymore. And that’s when the narcissist is like oh, like, where’s my supply? So that’s a trauma bond and that’s what it is, and it’s about 95% of people. And what this looks like in a relationship is two people in masculine energy, which is like fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, two people fighting, or two people in feminine energy, where nobody’s communicating, no one’s having sex and everybody’s scrolling on Facebook and probably the husband’s off watching porn out and the woman’s maybe doing the same thing or thinking about the neighbor who’s got a little bit of a higher frequency, and so that’s what it looks like in relating and it’s almost like deemed common and it’s not common. I mean, excuse me, it’s not normal.

Julie Hilsen: 19:04

It’s a dysfunction, right? It’s like Total, yeah, and it’s a way we cover and hide what is hurting us. Oh yeah, you run the psych. I can see it. You run a cycle, you run through it. I think that this would be a hard thing for someone to realize 100%, so I’m holding space for that. If anyone’s listening and says, hey, you know, I sort of see that as a pattern because it’s a lot, it’s a lot and there’s no guarantee that you work through this, you’re going to stay with that person, I mean, it could be a big change.

Aasha LaCount: 19:40

That’s it. Yeah, no-transcript the responsibility a lot. You know. I don’t know how this is going to be taken, but it’s the truth. When a woman heals, when a woman is the master creator, she’s the one with the womb, she is the one that creates the existence in the heavens first and therefore she is the one that creates it on earth. That’s something everybody needs to understand that creation power comes from her love frequency. It is the strongest frequency in the world of love. So when a woman heals, the world shifts around her. She is the one that has really unbelievable amounts of magic and the world will respond. What happens is because women have been hurt and, like you just described, we end up shutting our hearts and we close it to the one thing that we want, which is love and purpose and abundance in the form of money. I’m talking about money. Bring that shit right, like we all want it, I don’t care what anybody says. I mean, if you want to reach a lot of people, if that’s your desire everybody’s desire is different but if you want to reach a lot of people, you do need the vehicle of money, and that is actually masculine energy, like you got to let it move through you, and so that’s something that I think women the woman, needs to be as emotionally available for herself as possible so that everybody around her shifts and moves. And that means, like you said, it could potentially mean rupture. It could potentially mean blowing things up in the name of her truth, in the name of her soul, and that’s difficult, yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 21:26

And that’s the feminine warrior. And it’s worth it because then you can be in your magic, be true to yourself, and attract that balance.

Aasha LaCount: 21:39

I find a lot of women, including myself. Had I known what I know and I know I had to go through what I had to go through I’ve forgiven us for every step of the way but if I’d known about feminine embodiment and relaxing and I wasn’t so plugged into feminism and empowerment as opposed to soft feminine embodiment and confidence, then I feel like it would have prevented what happened in my relationship. That’s why I’ve dedicated my life to this because if I can save marriages and also help people get into their aligned relationships, I will do that. I will do anything that I need to do to help people feel better.

Julie Hilsen: 22:20

Well, thank you for sharing that. It’s so powerful and it does. It comes back to that frequency of love, and everything will follow suit, and you have to believe in your power and give up the idea that you’re weak or that you’re not worthy, because you are strong. You’re divine. Your partner, your man, whoever your partner is, is a divine being too, and you have to decide to see them as that, and sometimes the divine choice is freedom, and then I always say that the truest form of love is when you let something go and it comes back to you.

Aasha LaCount: 23:01

That’s it. Well, if you can think back to my crazy story when that man finally let go of me, I came back. That’s right, yes, so the difference was, though, that he didn’t let go of me because he healed. He let go of me to attach to another woman. He went right into another relationship, so I could see his power, I could see it. I was like, oh my God, when you let go of her, you need to heal, like God’s been trying to call you because his dad died, his brother died, his mother died All these things happened over the 18 years, and I said I think God was trying to get your attention to heal, and he could never get there. He didn’t have the tools. That’s why I’m like this work is so powerful, and so my goal is to make it as easy and accessible as possible for everybody because I was like that’s a problem If he felt that way for 18 years. What are other men carrying? What are other women carrying? What are other men carrying? Though men are jumping off of buildings, they have, like, no love in their life, and they’re trying to find it outside themselves instead of self-sourcing in their sovereignty, and they don’t even know what that looks like, and so he let go and I came back. But it wasn’t because it was healthy. I came back because he was attached to somebody else. Amazing, right?

Julie Hilsen: 24:18

It is, and we have no idea of the sensitivity of our nature. We pick up on things and someone said it’s like 97% subconscious, or the way we operate. So this is huge stuff. This is huge stuff and worth it. If this strikes any curiosity in you, you want to look into some more. I know you have some resources on your website and some offerings If you want to dip your toe in the water and learn some more. There’s an abundance of things to learn about. It’s time if this is resonating with you. It’s time, and you know every day is a chance to live the life of your dreams. So try to figure out what that is.

Aasha LaCount: 25:05

That’s exactly it, oh my gosh, and that’s it. Like we’ve been programmed to believe that, like we can’t have it all, that we can’t Go for it in this lifetime, and like you can a hundred one Thousand percent go for it. We do an emotional intelligence test. It’s not like anything else on the market. I measure frequency and I show you what you’re vibing at and then I increase your vibes with my method and it’s like all my clients become magnetic. That one just got a million-dollar Dia. She just got a million dollars in cash from a man. And Another one just got a job with Tony Robbins like working right next to Tony Robbins, like Stuff that she had, she applied like five years ago, but she was kind of um, you know, just a little bit lower, a lower presentation, a lower like energy. And so when she came up into that energetic space, she, like her beauty, came out, her, her, her body, her, her confidence and her and now her money, and like it was just, it’s just been amazing, it’s amazing. It’s like, oh my god, this is the secret to life is energy. It is everything, and people go. Energy is everything, but energy is the trauma that you hold and energy is the list of people that you don’t like, and energy is the sole job that you’re completely ignoring. It’s all of those things, and it takes work to get in there and get them out.

Julie Hilsen: 26:30

Well, thank you for doing that. Setting up the templates for people to plug into that. It sounds amazing. It does.

Aasha LaCount: 26:38

So happy for you.

Julie Hilsen: 26:41

Hey, have fun. Yay, well, was there any last word that you wanted? We’re reaching the end of our time, so I want to make sure you can get everything that was in your heart. You know, I want to make sure you have time to do that.

Aasha LaCount: 26:56

Oh, you’re so sweet, julie, thank you. Um, yeah, of course, I have programs. I’d love to connect with anybody in the audience that’s like vibing and feeling like they’re ready to up a level. I work with people that take action and that are ready to go and like actually really do this and like I’m right next to you the whole time and it’s amazing and fun. I like fun. Um, I’m gonna drop a couple of free gifts. We’ve got a Scarcity mindset activation for people who may have some money stories, and then I also have one for um. I’ve got a um anxiety, like it’s kind of like a meditation for anxiety and burnout, just like to feel really, really chill in your body. And the last thing we have, of course, is my book. The empath is in our cyst and I’m happy to drop that link as well.

Julie Hilsen: 27:44

So awesome. Thank you so much. It’s incredible. Love your work You’re doing you’re awesome, I’m blessed.