Life of Love With Julie Hilsen. Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love, where we gather every week to explore the divine, feminine, our wonderful world that we have, and live with the curiosity of how we can live our best lives, and no judgment of anything we’ve done in the past. But if there’s something that we’d wish to change and live a life in a different way, this is our chance, and every day is a chance to live your life, your dreams. So today is just a very special day. We’re coming in with a guest from Germany and she’s a goddess. I mean, I’ve followed her on her social and you guys have to check out her Instagram. She’s putting magic out there, she’s putting inspiration and every single thing that I saw her post was just like yay.

Julie Hilsen: 1:01

So I’m so happy to have her as a part of our Life of Love community, and that’s what we are. We’re all sisters and brothers wanting to live our best lives, and so I honor everyone’s ears. And again, we’re nothing without someone paying attention. We’re a bell sounded in a void if no one’s listening. So I just honor every single person, and when you share these, we help change the world. So thank you so much. The show is just really doing great, and it’s because of you guys sharing and being here. So, without further ado, I’d love to introduce Gao Matsemme.

Gao Matsemme: 1:43

And.

Julie Hilsen: 1:44

I was having fun learning how to pronounce her name, because it’s African and I don’t know how to pronounce African names, so I got to learn a little bit about phonics. You know, my field was speech pathology for so many years and although I’m not in the field every day, it’s just always a delight to learn more about phonics and pronunciation, and so I’m just really happy to have her. She’s like I said, she’s a goddess and welcome. I’m so happy to have you here. On Life of Love. How.

Gao Matsemme: 2:13

Thanks, thanks for having me and I want to start by greeting your community. Life of love. We all want that life of love and I often love to greet and I do the greeting in my native language, dumelang Lokai. And the direct translation of Dumelang is agree. And what I’m asking you, to what are you agreeing to as you’re showing up today?

Julie Hilsen: 2:47

What are?

Gao Matsemme: 2:48

you agreeing to when you hear the words life of love? And Lugai means where are you Locate yourself? You know, sometimes we show up and, as much as you may be listening, you are busy, distracted, doing something else. And what about you give yourself permission to let go of everything and just be and um, as I’m saying that, what is coming to my mind is more than because at times, you listen with the ears whatever that is coming through. But my invite for today is can we listen with our body? And um, I’m just going to share this, even though it’s not my space. When we started, before we started, judy was just sharing an intention.

Gao Matsemme: 3:31

And it was quite interesting because the energy that I felt when she was saying the intention it was the solar plexus, like we just did the solar plexus and shortly after, the word that she said was patriarchy and I was like, wow, that’s quite interesting. So normally when this happens, it just shows the energy or where attention needs to be given, you know, when it comes to embodying our power or even disconnecting from the patriarchal conditioning and all of that. That’s just what I wanted to share, because that’s the first thing that came through, as we’re just like opening this door to say let’s step in and have this conversation.

Julie Hilsen: 4:14

That’s so amazing and I never shared this with the audience, but it’s a routine I have and that’s what she’s talking about.

Julie Hilsen: 4:22

Before we hit record, I ask for the message for the highest good and I ask for us to be inspired by what needs to come forward, and I think the audience should know that that that’s my intention every single time is to give a message, to help, and when I run into people on the streets or there’s comments and they’ll comment, I always get like, oh, that helped me with my day and I’m like, okay, so the message is getting through.

Julie Hilsen: 4:49

But this is a really amazing synchronicity or energetic, that this is the first time that’s brought forth, that I said something about patriarchy and my intention and you felt it in your solar plexus and we’re gonna we’re gonna work through this because it’s a really important message because it came to you and me and um at this time. So, yes, and that’s what I want to talk when, when I saw your information and and what you’ve, what you’ve been working on and through, and your beautiful story, this embodiment and I want the listeners to know what embodiment is and I get the impression that it has to do a lot with the intention, also the way you introduced that we haven’t talked about embodiment and life of love yet. So if you could share what it means to you and how to wrap your head around this concept, what it means to you and how to wrap your head around this concept.

Embodiment in Life of Love

Gao Matsemme: 5:47

Yeah, embodiment, I feel like it’s everything. Truly speaking, we are here to be embodied, that is, being that wholeness that we are, but, at the same time, honoring this body, because the truth of it is that we are here to walk the body and at times, especially when it comes to spirituality, we love the high energies and connecting up into, yeah, higher realms and all that, and we forget that that doesn’t serve us if we are not here. And I even want to talk about embodiment. We don’t want to connect to the high energies and all the light beings and not be able to do what we came here to do. And for the for you to be able to conceive and give birth to what your soul is here to give birth to, you get to be in the body. It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about your gift, whether you’re talking about the codes that you’re meant to bring here. You get to be in the body for you to be able to receive that because, if at all, I have a gift for you and I come to your place to give you a gift because it’s your birthright. All of that, your relationship blueprint, your wealth, blueprint, health, all of that is yours. But if I come to your place to give you this and you are not there, then it’s just the gift is give you this and you are not there, then it’s just, the gift is just going to be there. You’re not even going to know that you’ve got a gift that you get to receive and you’re not even open to receive because you are not there. So this is a lot of people will be like I’m doing a lot of work, I’m doing a lot of work and they don’t see that outcome that they desire in that physical reality. It’s kind of like there is a gap or a mismatch in terms of the other life and what they’re experiencing in their physical reality.

Gao Matsemme: 7:32

And on the other hand, even when I’m talking about embodiment, it’s us being. I know you know about the be, do have you get to be, for you to be able to take that inspired action which is the doing and have, that which is divinely yours by your birthright, you know. So it starts with us being, because when we are not in the body, what happens is we’ll channel in whatever inspiration, whatever ideas that we have. But then, when it comes to us taking that action. It’s kind of like the body’s not there with you, kind of like you’re kidding me, I’m not, I’m not doing that, you know. And you start self-sabotaging and all that. Or you start taking action. You disconnect and start taking action from from the mind. Actually, you don’t even disconnect because you’ve grown disconnected. You know, you live from here, you know. So whatever that is coming through, you are processing it from here. This is why I mentioned be and allow your body to feel.

Gao Matsemme: 8:30

And we all know about the positivity and positive words and all that. And sometimes we can run with I am being positive or I’m being all those words that we throw around. But when we connect to the body, you realize that when I say love since we are here in the life of love, right and when I talk about love, we know what love means, consciously, we all know that and we all want love. But what is it? The love that the memories, memories, the entrance that our body is holding to when you talk about love, so when you are embodied and you let go even of the meanings and positive, negatives and all that, you are more connected to what is here. You get to feel what is here and that’s the way you get to process it, even when it comes to the creation, that is the manifestation, the acceleration key in creating anything is feeling. When you are embodied, you can be here.

Embodiment and Manifestation Through Feeling

Gao Matsemme: 9:35

And when you talk about a loving relationship. This is why, when someone is taking you through the process of creating anything I know we use the word visualization a lot, but feeling is the way. How does it feel when you are with this partner of yours? How are they touching? You get to be present and feel that. What are you smelling, what are you tasting? It’s you being here.

Gao Matsemme: 9:57

Even when you talk about whatever money, whether it’s wealth, how much is it? Because even when you talk about there’s no frequency of I want one million. This is how one million feels like. The question is, what do you want to do with it? When you step into creating those desires, it’s you filling into that.

Gao Matsemme: 10:15

So, when you feel that it’s easier for you to receive the inspired action that is coming through, for you to give birth to what you desire and I’m talking about giving birth here, why? Because I believe you can’t give birth to something that you do not conceive the creation process is the same process that we have when we are creating a child. I don’t want to jump the guns, but the whole thing is I talk a lot about the sexual energy, right, and this is the same energy that we used to create. This is whether we’re creating a baby, we’re creating our desires and when, before we can allow someone to penetrate us, we get to be ready, we get to feel a certain way and open up for that, to whether that needs to penetrate us. And even when it comes to creation, whether it’s your gift, whatever that is, it’s us opening up, it’s softening up to allow that to come through, so that, in short, it’s the embodiment, the beingness.

Julie Hilsen: 11:20

Wow, it’s beautiful, it’s just beautiful. And you know it came to my mind like so, when you’re on vacation, you’re not at your house. You call your neighbor to pick up your Amazon package. Or you know you have a package delivered. You make sure that doesn’t sit out front of your house and get rain on and you want to open up that, make sure that’s the right delivery.

Julie Hilsen: 11:44

And so it’s the same with the universe, with what your desires are. You don’t just leave your. You don’t just call something and then leave it on your front porch. You have to have yourself, your body, ready to receive it. And that’s when you talk about the embodiment.

Julie Hilsen: 12:00

You need to be in your body, and it’s easy to say it, but there’s certain times it’s just really hard. When you’re feeling stressed, when you’re feeling low resource, you do everything you can not to feel the lack because it’s uncomfortable. So those are the times you need the biggest paradigm shift, right, because you’re uncomfortable. You need a different state, and so getting to your body can help you get through it. But it takes the courage to really feel it. And yeah, and I don’t want to, I don’t, I never want someone to think life of love is all about rainbows and butterflies, like you have to get through the muck to get to your, your highest expression. These challenges are here to help you ascend and figure out that you are strong enough. You’re a goddess, everyone’s a goddess, everyone’s a god. It’s just connecting and remembering that you can create these things that you yearn for.

Julie Hilsen: 13:01

And I loved how you said you have to feel it. What’s the sensation of it? Yeah and um, that’s the biggest thing. If you can’t even think of the sensation of it, then you have some embodiment work to. That’s what I’m hearing you say. That’s when you get into the embodiment work, what, what was the big trigger for you? And, and was it, was it a sexual thing that that gave you the aha moment? Um, like, how did you come about knowing that this was a key?

Gao Matsemme: 13:32

this was a key to ascension, a key to to a new timeline, to having more happiness, abundance and joy because I never said this before, but I, I went through these trials and tribulations and there was a moment when I started meditating and for me the meditation was different, because I was starting to meditate and when I come out of this meditation I’m flipping high and I’m like I, like I would have different kind of orgasm in my meditation, like literally mind orgasm, heart orgasm, like really body, genital orgasm, you know, and by then I was, I was. That was before I. I divorced my, we divorced with me and my ex-husband. So I’ll come and share with, I’ll just share, like with all this excitement, like, oh, my god, I don’t know how to explain to you what is happening, but this is what I’m going through, it was, it was. I don’t even think drugs or anything can really match to that bliss, that orgasmic bliss.

Sacred Power of Sexual Energy

Gao Matsemme: 14:40

This is why the word is coming from. I love to talk about the orgasmic.

Gao Matsemme: 14:44

Actually, this is what life is all about to make love with life and having a having an orgasm while we are meditating is not something that is really common, you know. So I’m here processing all that I’m going through, but then at the same time I’m going like, whew, maybe I’m just one of those crazy people. You know, I don’t get it because it’s something different. You know, but when I was doing the work I went through the process. Actually, one other mind-blowing incident that kind of like came to me besides the anger that I had while I was growing up, and I associated it with the dysfunction from home and then with life happening to me and all that through me, because at first it’s happening to me and then you realize it’s happening for me and through me. And then all that. And there was a point when my inner child came and she just asked me do you want to know why I’m angry? And I was like, yeah, you know. And I just allowed it and there was that quietness. I was like, okay, I just went to bed and while I’m just laying down, I kind of like went into this trance and I went back into a lifetime where my inner child was molested by his father. In that lifetime, the imprints in my body, it was like I’m experiencing it then it was so flippant real. And after that I had to go through that process and I was not only healing the trauma sexual trauma of that lifetime, I was also healing the shame that I was.

Gao Matsemme: 16:23

Especially, when we talk about shame, the religious system, it indoctrinates us into believing that this energy, like sexual energy, is sinful, you know, and especially even the story of even Adam it has that that yeah, so there is that shame around the sexual energy, and this is not only for women, it’s for both men and women. You know, I always say patriarchy made us powerless by shutting off the woman’s womb and shut off the man’s heart, by shutting off the woman’s womb and it shut off the man’s heart. So the womb, or heart, and the heart are meant to work together for you to be able to give birth to what you desire. But there is a disconnection. Most women will function from here, from the heart, and the men function from here, which becomes just a sexual activity. They’re just active, but they don’t know how to. It’s not like they don’t respect the energy, they don’t even know how to use it, because this is a healing energy, it’s a creation energy. So I went through that process of healing.

Gao Matsemme: 17:23

And then one day I was just having a conversation I was actually doing a live video and it was kind of like the first time that I observed where I’m speaking from that. I’m not speaking from here, I’m speaking from my womb, from my genitals. There is that grounded that, there’s that sweetness that just comes from there. I just felt all the orgasmic energy that is coming through as I’m speaking and I was like what the heck is happening with me? I’m not doing anything, I’m just having a conversation. And that’s when I started having really this downlose. That went through, where I was just guided to connect.

Gao Matsemme: 17:58

Whenever I felt disconnected from my purpose, I’ll feel it from the disconnection from my sexual energy. And anyone who went through depression will know that when you are depressed you don’t feel like waking up. Nothing excites you. And all that and the worst part of it we have this medical I’m not saying get off medication please but the antidepressants. Instead of helping us get better, they might help you get better because you start producing those serotonin, feel-good hormones from the mind but you don’t produce it from where you are meant to in the gut. So it also affects your connection to your body. It affects your sexual energy, you know. So that is how this came to being.

Gao Matsemme: 18:42

And even when I talk about my purpose because before I just felt like I not sure really of what my purpose is or my gift, I haven’t really mastered that and all that but the moment I connected to this energy, it kind of like became a gateway, that kind of lead me. You know, when I’m doing something that I am not in alignment with for example, I was an accountant there was nothing that was turning me on with accounting, nothing, absolutely nothing, you know. But when I started doing this, I can be sitting down just to write a post. If it’s a post that comes from the inner being, I’ll still feel that sexual energy. That is just that coheness that comes through, that I embrace, and it’s an energy that you get to follow, even when it comes to the things that you do on a daily basis. You know it’s worth it to stop and connect with the body. You know where am I coming from when I’m doing this? Because it’s a creative energy, right? So the time when you feel like I don’t even know what to write, you know you have lost that creative juices.

Gao Matsemme: 19:45

There is something that is happening that is disconnecting you from these juices, this flow, this creation energy, which is life force, energy, even when you’re talking about kundalini, is that energy that accelerates your connection to source. So for me, it started with that connection when I was sitting down to meditate, and then I started with this orgasm and all that. But there was a moment when it was like something that I felt it was happening outside of me, like it’s kind of like I only get to find this when I’m getting into meditation, you know. But then with time I learned to be present enough for me to realize that this is something that is always here. It just needs me to pay attention to. Just like everything that you do, whatever that you nourish, you support, you feed, it grows, but what you don’t give attention to, it dies.

Gao Matsemme: 20:36

And the same thing with sexual energy. We have this twisted mindset and this is really a problem that when we grow up, we expect actually, when I get to 40, 50, I should have this amount of money, I should be married, I should have children, everything is increasing as you grow older. That’s the expectation, but somehow we expect that when you grow older, we don’t expect the wisdom that we have gathered over many years to be something so rich and just embrace the richness that comes with as sexual energy. It even becomes something that is kind of like is this person really having sex at this age? You know it’s something that we still change in people that round.

Julie Hilsen: 21:20

I think you’re so right. There’s such secrecy and the whole idea that older people are being intimate. People are like I don’t want to know. But I know what you’re saying about that disconnect between the heart and the womb and even the loss of innocence. I think, just holding space for that, that that’s something that our mass consciousness deals with and you know, using sex as a power, you know like that’s a serious thing that we need to work through and so us using our joy and our sexual energy to produce something beautiful and to share something beautiful and bring back the innocence is it’s a huge, it’s a huge thing to have that intention. So you know, I encourage people because I didn’t have that feeling meditating, but I got it doing yoga and I was like does anyone else feel this?

Julie Hilsen: 22:20

With the shavasana. I’m like holy shavasana and that helps me become embodied was the yoga and I just I just finally laid down and just felt what my body was feeling and the energy that I built up during the yoga flow and then just laying there with the Shavasana. So there’s not just one way, but I do believe that if people started meditating with the intention of building that energy and connecting your heart with your womb energy. And it’s not complex, it’s just like playing with a visualization. You can actually you can create an energy vortex right there and it’s very powerful and it’s fun and anyone who gets to experience that with you is like whoa talk about the queen, right.

Julie Hilsen: 23:13

So it’s a beautiful thing and and I do believe god gave us sex for you know, for creating and also for joy. Like, why would he give us these parts that fit together so well for us not to have fun with them? Like, what are we doing? Especially empty nesters? Your kids are gone. You, you can walk around in your underwear all day, it doesn’t matter.

Gao Matsemme: 23:36

Right, I love what you said. And then, just going back a little bit, when you say you felt it in yoga, because yoga it also involves the breath, right, and the breath is everything, even just by breathing, if we can just make that conscious choice to say, every time when I breathe, I’m just going to breathe right to my genitals and connect with the magic that is within me. Because, when you look at it, even when you’re talking about giving birth, giving birth to our desires, to children, and all that when you are going through labor, what do you go to? When you are making love with someone and you don’t want to come early, it’s the breath that connects you with that person. You breathe each other out when you are fully present and feeling, into what you’re feeling and also being attuned to what your partner needs, right, so it’s the breath that also guides us. So the breath and the sound. This is why, even when you’re talking about when you’re being intimate with someone, we enjoy it when there is that sound. That is like the feedback that you’re getting from your partner.

Gao Matsemme: 24:45

And, uh, one other thing, like you mentioned as well, that emptiness is. You know, when I talk about this energy, often the response that I get is like oh, I’m good because I’ve been in a relationship for 20 years, I’m married and all that. But no, you can be in a relationship and having sex and not having an individual connection to a sexual energy. There is a difference when you are connected to this energy for you, which is what I call sexual sovereignty, you know knowing that you deserve pleasure. You are connected with yourself. You know how it falls when you touch yourself. When somebody is connecting with you, you can tell them or even guide them, without even speaking, where you want to be, because you give an impression. When somebody touches where you love it. Are you comfortable to have even these conversations about what you like and what you don’t like? Because I find that even when he’s talking about trauma, for instance, there is other traumas like sexual trauma and all that.

Embrace Sexual Sovereignty in Relationships

Gao Matsemme: 25:47

But for women, the trauma that most women experience is being penetrated when they are bodiced, and especially for those who are in a relationship or are nursed, where you feel like I’m married, I have to, and when you are not ready, especially in a disconnected world that we are in, there is a lot of of sexual activity but there is no sensuality. So when it comes to the intimacy, the connection, the romance and all that. There is no, that you know, but because you are afraid of saying no, if you are not embodying your power, you’re just gonna be there and let him do what he does and then, when he’s done, it’s kind of like I just want to get over it. And still, with men, if you are not att, you are not going to be able to tell that your partner is not in it with you. You know for you to stop and say what is going on. Maybe something is going on. They’re not sharing something.

Gao Matsemme: 26:45

You know because I always say, when it comes to intimacy, intimacy, loves, openness, honesty, trust and vulnerability, because there’s going to be time when you are having that and when you’re supposed to have an orgasm, you just start crying. There is a heart opening, a heart opening that is happening and you don’t even know even why the heck you’re crying, but it doesn’t even matter. The question is, does this crying feel good at that moment? And your partner really holds space where you are at and just find the beauty in that moment when you are open, vulnerable and allowing all of that to come through, because when you’re talking about a queen. A queen is able to hold space for herself and for her king, and her king gets to do the same. We don’t have to pretend whether I’m having an orgasm to impress you or anything. Oh my God, I’m feeling like I want to cry, but I don’t know why, and all that kind of like. Just allow it and hold space for it.

Julie Hilsen: 27:46

It’s beautiful and you do. That’s a theme of your message is be your queen and your king will be attractive, because you know queens don’t attract boys, right? Like you want a man, you need a man who’s going to understand what your needs are and can show up in the authentic, vulnerable way because they’re willing to ask the question, like somebody who’s scared, is going to try to avoid and just not even ask are you okay? Because they only deal with the answer. And then you feel neglected and then you know so it can become this spiral.

Nurturing Relationships in Self-Love

Julie Hilsen: 28:24

I know in my relationship. I know that my husband the physical needs he has a lot at times his physical needs are a lot more than mine and if I ask for something that I need and then he feels like he gets something back, like it’s like back rub for this and I’m like no, sometimes I just want to back rub and you don’t get anything. Like, and I don’t want to feel guilty for asking for a back rub and you don’t get anything. Like, and I don’t want to feel guilty for SP pro back rub, right, like so we’ve been through it. Like and I’m like, well, when you don’t acknowledge that it’s okay for you not to get what you want and me just get a back rub the night.

Julie Hilsen: 29:02

you it makes me feel guilty that you, that you didn’t acknowledge that it’s okay so I need to hear and it’s like we just went through something and I’m like you can’t just think that you’ve got to say it. You, you’ve got to express it and I need you to hear, I need you, I need to hear you say it that it’s okay 23 years, right like we’ve been working on this and you know it’s you go through these times and and it’s it’s been a major thing for me to say this is exactly what I need. Um, it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to grow together and and find more joy, and then you know, when he gets what he wants, it’s going to be that much better for him, because I’m going to be totally into it.

Gao Matsemme: 29:46

Right like it’s just you said it all because you don’t want to give him a little bit like a compromise, like, okay, fine, do it and get done with. You want to be doing it fully in it, where you want to be satisfied, fulfilled and the same for him. You know, and like you said, there’s, there’s nothing as beautiful as no matter how long you’ve been together. But each and every single area of our lives needs us to give it attention. It needs us to nurture, to nourish it. You know, including that sexual, that intimacy. You know, instead of just ignoring it and be like, oh, it’s my wife, my husband for so many years, and even the communication, and it’s not even about, like the background, it’s everything.

Healing Through Relationships and Intimacy

Gao Matsemme: 30:32

You can just feel like I just want to, you know, just kiss you and do all sorts of things or even touch you, but I don’t want penetration tonight. You know you have those conversations that I don’t want to go there, but I just want to feel the sensuality part of it, the connection part of it, and you ask the other person are you okay with this, are you willing to go that far with me? You know, and it also it brings in that part of discipline, that part of teasingness that comes with it, where it’s kind of like you know what, I have it, but we’re just going to play, you know, because it’s that pleasure. You know to say you deserve pleasure. It doesn’t always have to end up with penetration, and this also it’s something that also counts for us, even when we are by ourselves, even just touching your breasts or even touching just your whatever part of you that you just feel like.

Gao Matsemme: 31:23

I want to give this part of my attention. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to end up with any penetration or whatever, but no, you’re just gonna enjoy the feel of your skin, your body and all that, and your partner can do the same. And, like I said, it has that element of teasing as well, which is also what makes it more. It’s more like, um, just let the flame be there and then and let him leave him gifts and told us I can’t raise you on your own baby, because what you love me is that you love me. That’s just the way I am.

Julie Hilsen: 31:57

Right, it’s beautiful and it is a very important thing we do. We concentrate on our bank accounts, we take care of our cars. There are so many things that we do. We make sure our kids get into the right schools and you know, we redecorate our houses, ours. There’s so many things that we do. We make sure our kids get into the right schools and you know, we redecorate our houses.

Julie Hilsen: 32:18

But, you know, think about your embodiment and how you can redecorate inside. Listen to that inner child, your innocence, bring out. Bring that out because it’s your gift. And also and when you’re talking about hugging, you know touching, just you know feeling your own skin and how beautiful you are. And this might sound corny, but lately I’ve been having anxiety and I’ve just been. I don’t know if it’s the solar flares or what it is, but I will just hug myself and I’ll tell my inner child that I love her.

Julie Hilsen: 32:47

I’ll tell my inner child that I love her, and just, you know, not when anyone else is around, but just when I’m by myself and I have a moment, you know, because it’s easy to disregard all the things you’ve been through. And you know, you’ve all of us, all women, all people. I don’t want to just make this a woman thing or a female thing. All people have been through so much. I mean, just think about mass consciousness over the last five years and all the things and the things we’re going through and you know we just deserve, we just deserve to have some compassion for ourselves. Some, you know, just just recognize. You know you, you went out of your way and and you’re a good person and you’re trying your hardest and just soak into that a little bit and know that you deserve joy. I mean everybody. We just deserve to feel some joy. And these aren’t things that are expensive. This is something that’s around and in your field every day. You don’t have to go searching for this.

Gao Matsemme: 33:48

This is here, it’s here and what I love about what you said. When you said I felt that my inner child needed something. I just hugged myself and told my inner child that I love you. That’s beautiful. And here you are and we’ve been married for 23 years.

Gao Matsemme: 34:05

But you are here taking care of you and the mistake that we do, both men and women, is of trying to push our inner child through our partners and wanting that from someone, or even being angry. You can just be angry with a partner. You don’t love me and all that. Where is that coming from? You know, your inner child may have wanted to hear that from you, but if you are not present enough and not willing to give you the love that you deserve, you will not go. And because you know children, I love them.

Gao Matsemme: 34:39

They are not apologetic, but at the same time, they have a tendency of throwing a tantrum when they need something. That’s the only way that they communicate and when this aspect is not integrated, that’s what it does. You know you can just be angry at times. But why wait? Why can’t you just tell me what you need without, uh, all this tantrum? And the argument is I don’t know. You know it’s because that’s how you learn to communicate when you were wanted someone, your parents attention or something, when you’re young, you know. And even when you’re talking about this whole the intimacy part, what is coming to my mind is one lady I worked with who she was totally disconnected from her inner child. She was also married to a great, great husband and she was disconnected from herself, from her inner child. And all these years she’s been married for more than 15 years All these years like it came to her awareness when we started working together that she has never opened her heart to love her husband or her children because of what happened to her.

Gao Matsemme: 35:42

Actually, not even what happened. There’s some parts of it that happened to her, but it’s more what she observed her mother and father going through and she made a vow I will never, allow a man to take advantage of me.

Gao Matsemme: 35:55

And now, here she is, married to a great man, but she doesn’t know how to open and allow him in. You know, even when it comes to the intimacy when we was, we were working together, there was a point when she said, oh my god, my husband is wondering what is happening to me now, because it’s like I’m on heat or something. Before I I used to think he’s an addict or something with the way he always had the demands, the desires, you know, and I found like whew man, you know, but now I’m the one who is on his case and he’s just like what the hell is going on? And he’s just realizing that by opening, integrating the inner child and open into herself, now she can love herself, she can love her children and be fully present, she can love her husband.

Gao Matsemme: 36:45

And even the insecurity that the husband had, it was not baseless, you know, because she didn’t really open her heart, because for her it was like, if I let you in, you’re going to think that I’m weak and then you’re going to do the same thing that was done to my mother so I’m not letting you in and that blocked a lot of things, especially that she resented her father of things, especially that she resented her father. So the father was a breadwinner that had a problem with money. You know, because of the resentment to the father and all these things, not living fully and all that. But when you come back to yourself, your inner child, your sexual energy, and you let go of what is like the generational toxic patterns and entrance, you know now you start living your life not being influenced by other people’s things, especially as children. We take what our parents are not processing you know, we take all of that in exchange for love.

Gao Matsemme: 37:42

You know, I’m going to take yourself, since this baggage is stopping you from loving me. I’m going to take this and, yeah, you take my love. Maybe there’s’s gonna be space for for for me. But then, with time, you realize that you can’t do anything with things that do not belong to you. It’s a baggage that you can’t do anything about. There’s a moment where you get to let go of it, you know, and that’s where the codependency is coming from, where often, because men are told not to feel- that’s the wound that has been there for many generations.

Gao Matsemme: 38:15

So men look for a woman who can feel. So it’s kind of like you get to process for yourself and process for me and because of the disconnection from the sacral, the womb energy where the creation happens women as well. Even if we may be working, at times you realize you can be working hard but you’re not able to keep the money that you have. But the only reliance is I’m going to rely on my partner. He provides the security and you provide that emotional thing. But it’s messy. It’s a codependency, like you said.

Julie Hilsen: 38:52

Yeah, it’s so easy to see it the way you describe it. Yeah, it’s like wild, and you know it’s funny, because I’ll even tell my husband. I’m like I’m not processing this emotion for you. This one’s yours, I’ll call him out. And I didn’t really understand. It was like I just not, I don’t have the energy, I’m not sleeping, I’m anxious, I can’t take on anything else.

Julie Hilsen: 39:16

And it’s just really interesting how our relationships can help us see, and you can use them as a tool to grow and and become closer and and be more honest with yourself.

Julie Hilsen: 39:28

And you know that anyone who’s really interested in some serious movement in their life, you just start looking at your inner child stuff. Just, I mean, I’m just telling you it’s a wormhole, it’s worth to go down, it’s painful, you’re gonna cry, you’re gonna feel like a two-old in the line at the checkout who wants a candy and can’t get it. But then I mean I don’t know about you. But now I can see like, since I’ve done and I’m not an expert on inner child, believe me but I can see other people going through their inner child wounds, like, when they do it like you said, they’re, they’re just, they’re just triggered. It’s like this really strong, like throw up of emotion and you’re like whoa, that’s in your child wound. I see it. I see it it’s happening. It’s like a train wreck, but it’s good because if they can work through it, they don’t have to go through it again like so, and it’s worth it even when you use the word throw up, I mean it’s just like god, even in the literal sense.

Gao Matsemme: 40:29

You know, I’ve I’ve went with people who, at times, after just doing their session some of that being nauseous, they said I had some have diarrhea, sometimes showing up because it’s a lot of things that we haven’t discussed it about, that has not been processed. So it’s a literal throw up show, just like pegging, which is really needed, even when it comes to, like the health part. You know, for you to start having those new cells, for your body to start even receiving the nutrients that it needs, you need to let go of everything that has been on the way. So it’s literally, it’s literally that you know, and even when we talk about what happens in a relationship, it’s quite interesting.

Gao Matsemme: 41:11

What is coming through is one other lady. The other time she connected with me and the first thing that I felt was like just a very pain on my own, on my it’s, on the heart area actually, and I was like so I asked her what’s going on with you? What is? What? Is this pain, you know? And uh, she said no, I don’t have that pain. Actually, my husband is the one who has that pain and he’s been going to the hospital, he’s trying to figure out what’s going on and it’s just sad. Sometimes it’s the physical pain that the other person can end up feeling. Sometimes it’s emotional that that the other person gets to process for the other. You know, and then you are not even aware, like the wife knows, that okay, my atma has that pain but on the other hand she’s carrying that you know, because it was. It was the imprint was showing up in her and you felt as well.

Julie Hilsen: 41:57

You felt it in her energetic yeah and like the same way you can carry your mother and your father’s pain or you know it’s ancestral, so sometimes it’s not even your stuff like completely. This has just been an amazing conversation. I’m so happy, all these things. I had no idea we’re going to get so deep into relationships and intimacy, but I’m so glad because it’s really important and it’s fun. I had a blast talking with you about it.

Gao Matsemme: 42:24

I did. I did too, and on the other hand, like, for instance, instance, I’m someone who went through different situations separation with children, divorce and all that and at times when you go through this where you can make it about that and you stop, you kind of like try to frustrate yourself by not wanting to be in that relationship or not even wanting to open up because there’s betrayal that happened. I talk about this with this core wounds, betrayal, abandonment, abuse and rejection. We go through them all. But one thing that I truly believe in is we should never allow any circumstances or anyone to stop us from loving. So I love this.

Gao Matsemme: 43:02

You know life of love, because love is everything, and again, even relationships. We grow through relationships, and sometimes you may have gone through a situation where a relationship was ending because whatever that you were meant to learn, you have learned it and that contract is over. So now you are being led into something else so that you can also experience another depth of love. So we get to open ourselves to that, because you can’t know, if you’re doing the work and being by yourself, you’re not going to grow at the level that you are meant to grow. We grow through love. Relationship is the best way for us to know who we are. You know, because we are shocked in someone, the person of us that we love and have accepted about ourselves, and sometimes we have trouble when we come across the person that we have rejected or denied in us. Now, when we’re looking at that mirror, we’re trying to realize who the heck are you, you know, but it’s a part of us that needs our attention.

Julie Hilsen: 43:57

So, thank you, thank you. And then I know you’re active on your Instagram account, but how else can people reach you? Do you have a website or any information if someone wanted to find out more about these pearls of wisdom you offered and this insight? It’s just so wonderful.

Gao Matsemme: 44:14

Yeah, my website is haumatsdmacom Just my name, g-a-o-m-o-t-s-d-m-a, and Facebook is also haumatsdma, instagram haumatsdma Magnetic Confidence, and TikTok is the same LinkedIn I’m also active there and I’ll also share my calendar link with those who would like an introduction to african asian quantum medicine methodology. I would like to offer your audience that open introduction.

Julie Hilsen: 44:43

Call share it. I already talked about my sex life today, so Thank you for staying up late in Germany for us, Hal I appreciate it.

Gao Matsemme: 44:55

Thank you so much, man. All the best, much love.