Death Doula Describes How Graceful Transitions Are Possible

In this week’s podcast, we delved into the profound world of death doulas and their role in guiding individuals towards a peaceful transition. Here are some key takeaways that illuminate the importance of creating sacred spaces and living with purpose:

Creating a Sacred Space for Healing: Central to the journey of healing is the creation of a sacred space. Whether physical or emotional, this environment fosters comfort and facilitates profound healing experiences.

The Role of a Death Doula: Death doulas offer holistic support, guiding individuals and families through the emotional, spiritual, and practical aspects of end-of-life care. Their presence ensures that each person’s unique journey is honored with compassion and respect.

Embracing Vulnerability: During times of grief, vulnerability opens doors to deeper connections and emotional healing. Death doulas emphasize the importance of embracing and expressing vulnerability as a transformative part of the grieving process.

Intuitive Guidance: Intuition is a guiding force in the work of death doulas. It allows them to provide personalized support, anticipating needs, and offering comfort in ways that are deeply meaningful to those nearing the end of life.

Practical Support: Beyond emotional and spiritual guidance, death doulas offer practical support that eases the transition for both patients and their families. This includes coordinating care, assisting with daily tasks, and creating a comfortable environment through music and familiar scents.

Shared Death Experiences: Experiencing the end of life alongside a loved one can be profoundly insightful. Shared death experiences often provide unexpected moments of clarity and connection, offering comfort and peace to those left behind.

Life’s Purpose and Connection: Understanding one’s life purpose brings a sense of peace and fulfillment, even in the face of death. Death doulas help individuals reflect on their lives, celebrating their journey and finding closure with self-care practices.

As we explored these themes in our podcast, it became clear that compassion and connection are essential to both living and dying with dignity. By embracing vulnerability and celebrating our unique paths, we can navigate life’s transitions with grace and purpose.

Join us in celebrating the beauty of showing up authentically in every moment, knowing that each journey, whether in life or death, is a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and capacity for love.

Let’s continue this conversation about purpose, healing, and the profound role of death doulas in our lives. Together, we can explore the depths of compassion and elevate our existence through meaningful connections.

Episode Transcript

Creating a Sacred Space for Healing


Julie Hilsen (00:09)
clearing the space for our container, for us to create this beautiful offering. I call in God, goddess, angels, any entity of the highest realm who wants to contribute to this wonderful soul level offering. We’re coming together to talk about things that can be hard, the unknown.

know, trusting, and I honor. I forgot, Helen, she goes by Helen Gretchen. Okay, I forgot to ask if she wanted me call her Helen or Gretchen. But I honor Helen. I honor Helen Gretchen’s contributions. I honor her path. I honor her openness in the way she says yes. And.

in life and in spirit and it’s just such a beautiful, beautiful time to be together and honor this special time we have together. And I trust that God will work through us and for us to bring forth a message with clarity and intensity to reach the ears that need to hear and the hearts that could soften to this message. it transmit and transmute anything that needs to be taken care of on this earth because we’re all about bringing up

the frequency, bringing up humanity so that we can experience this world as we were meant to as divine beings. And I hold that in my heart and I hold that in this production and I honor and I just have my heart open for this, for this time together. And I thank you, thank you, thank you.

Helen Gretchen Jones (01:45)
Thank you, that was beautiful.

Julie Hilsen (01:47)
hello dear friends and welcome to Life of Love where we gather each week to bring forth a message to uplift, to inspire, to give hope, give trust, whatever you’re looking for is I hope you can find it.

and always take what serves you and leave what doesn’t. this week is, every week’s a blessing and this week is, it’s timely. I’ve had to say goodbye to a dear friend, just this past, it’s been a week now that I’ve known and Helen was being so gracious listening to my passage of saying goodbye to a dear friend. I just thank you so much for being here on Life of Love Gretchen.

She’s a death doula, a certified death doula, an intuitive and a channeler. So Gretchen, thanks for coming to us from Central Texas. You’re even in a different time zone, so that’s always fun.

Helen Gretchen Jones (02:36)
Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be here.

Julie Hilsen (02:39)
Yes, well, it’s just, it’s such a hard thing because, you know, we have trouble trusting. Even when you’re connected to Spirit, it’s like, that part of you is like, is it gonna be easy? And you just want everyone to have this angelic, know, Jesus comes and grabs your hand or your guardian angel says, I’ve been watching, I’ve been with you your whole life. And you just don’t know how each person’s gonna respond.

you’ve been in this field and you’ve chosen it, right? Or did it choose you? Like, how did you become a death doula?

Helen Gretchen Jones (03:14)
Well, it wasn’t something that has always been available. It’s a relatively new, you know, I guess, profession. People have always helped people transition. Most of the time it’s family and friends, but having it as a profession, that’s fairly new. When I, I’ve always had my entire life, a connection to spirit, a connection to other worldly events that are happening around us that…

a lot of people don’t necessarily pay attention to or see. So I’ve always been drawn to the spirit world and had a great understanding and connection to spirit and God and angels and all that is. So when I, unfortunately I lost my dad in 2015 and when he transitioned, he was really young, he was only in his 50s.

One of my sisters, Victoria, didn’t have closure. She still had a lot of things she needed to say, a lot of things that she felt needed to be resolved, and she didn’t get that opportunity. And that was very hard for her and for our family. And when I heard that, yeah, that can be hard for anyone, and it happens all the time. But when I heard about a death doula and how they help people transition and they help families and patients connect,

Julie Hilsen (04:16)
Sure, yeah.

Helen Gretchen Jones (04:27)
and they help people find closure at end of life, I thought, wow, I want to be a part of that. If I can help another family not go through the heartbreak that my sister went through in addition to the grief of losing a loved one, but not having that closure, I wanted to be a part of it. so in a way, it chose me, but also I accepted that choice and I love what I do.

Julie Hilsen (04:48)
It is a special place to be when you can lift the weight of something for somebody. were you able to, a lot of times family might not be as receptive as a stranger. you able to help Victoria, even though it had, your dad had passed, but could you retroactively like give her reassurance or is that sort of still something she’s working through?

Navigating Grief and Vulnerability

Helen Gretchen Jones (05:10)
she’s much better now. And I think with the, she’s actually has a very spiritual husband. And so he’s really helped her as well. But I think people have to process their grief and they have to be okay with how things are and being present in the moment and understanding that really on a larger scale, everything really is okay. And we can start with those small steps.

And Victoria’s much better now. She’s in a really good head space and she’s just the most beautiful soul. But a lot of families, they find it difficult to be vulnerable when their loved one is dying. They feel like they need to be strong and not be breaking down because nothing that they’re going through in their minds can compare to what their loved one who’s dying is going through. So they think they have to be strong and be the rock in the room.

And actually I found that that’s not the case at all. And when we come in as death doulas or as friends or other family and we come in and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, it encourages the people who are with us, the other observers who are witnessing this death.

to be vulnerable as well. And when one person, it’s like a domino, when one breaks down and falls and is allowed to be vulnerable, they all start to do it. And that actually initiates a lot of closure between patients and family. And oftentimes patients themselves are fearful and they don’t wanna be a burden. These people are coming in to care for them and setting their lives on hold for them. And they have a hard time oftentimes receiving that love.

And so they try to be as inward as possible, don’t want to be a burden, they don’t want to bother anyone. So they too try not to break down in front of their loved ones because they don’t want to put that on them. But the truth is if everybody can just open up and express how they’re feeling in the moment, it relieves a lot of that weight that all the parties are carrying during this time.

Julie Hilsen (07:11)
That’s beautiful. I’m going to the whole idea that, well, first of all, they called you to be the death doula. Do you work through hospice? Or how do people find you? And then how do you start to be vulnerable when maybe you didn’t even have a conversation with this person when they were alive? You’re just meeting their soul for the first time and they’re laying there.

you know, with eminent death or I guess walk me through like how, how this looks because I’ve heard Death Dula before, but I’m just really curious because I want I want someone to understand what it is to and that if if the family could use this kind of assistance that that they have a little snapshot of what it what it looks like practically. Yeah.

Helen Gretchen Jones (08:00)
Sure, excuse

me. So yes, a death doula. So we all know birth doula. Doula means to assist. And so a death doula is someone who will come in and holistically help a person and their family to transition. Some doulas, which is really cool, are also nurses. And so they could administer medication and things like that. But most doulas are not nurses. And so this is really a holistic transition for most doulas.

Julie Hilsen (08:06)
Mm-hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (08:28)
When we, there are websites, INELDA is one of them, I-N-E-L-D-A, and they’re sort of like the phone book of death doulas in all the different states, which is really cool. They also certify people to be death doulas. So when people hire me, they are…

Sometimes it’s the client, the person transitioning, and sometimes it’s the family. But I also do volunteer work through hospice and through a program called NODA, which stands for No One Dies Alone. And it’s a hospital-based program for people who maybe never had children, or they live in a different state, or they burned all their bridges, and they don’t have anyone to be with them. And so in the last 72 hours of their life, usually in the hospital, they’ll initiate

volunteer request and people will fill that in three hour shifts. If I’m being hired, usually someone has received a terminal illness, a prognosis, and they have a certain amount of time. And that gives me the opportunity to get to know them and their family.

and I go on a case by case basis. If it’s through hospice, I’ve had hospice patients that have been on hospice for five years and I was their volunteer for four of them. I’ve also had hospice patients where I only knew them for a month. And NODA, again, I know them for 72 hours or less. So it really depends on the situation and I kind of go in and use my intuition and I kind of feel out each patient and each family and what they need from me and how I can.

Julie Hilsen (09:27)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (09:55)
best serve in that moment.

Julie Hilsen (09:57)
So it’s a lot of observing and feeling and being like, what’s needed first? I mean, maybe it’s a cold washcloth, like letting the family know what they can do holistically to make them comfortable.

I remember when my grandma and my grandpa were passing, they were really thirsty and so giving them a straw with a little water so they could sort of get a little moisture in their mouth, meant a lot to them. I mean, not everybody knows these kind of things or having like bringing in maybe essential oils.

so that it’s a more pleasant smell or scent. There’s so many things and we don’t like to talk about these things because it’s hard and death is just as birth is messy. There’s things that it could be embarrassing. You’re the parent and your child’s taking care of you. And like you said, they just wanna go within and not express their needs. But is that part of it?

you’ll sort of say the elephant in the room so it breaks attention about it or how do you, when you’re going in, how do you pick what triage, where to go first?

Helen Gretchen Jones (11:07)
It really does vary. I usually get a rundown of what their culture, tradition, or religious beliefs are so we can be very respectful during that time and honor a lot of those traditions. almost always, we play music which correlates to what they like, the patient. Sometimes we open windows. You mentioned washcloths. That’s very common. The essential oils, sometimes it’s nice to sort of

Julie Hilsen (11:09)
Yeah.

Helen Gretchen Jones (11:32)
give a family something to do. And oftentimes, they want to be of service. And they want to be showing love to their dying loved one. And so a washcloth in the essential oils and like a bowl of water allows them to kind of wash the hands and feet and around the mouth. Someone’s on chapstick duty, you know, making sure their lips are hydrated and not feeling, you know, just you kind of give people something to do. If I’m in someone’s home,

Julie Hilsen (11:35)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (11:58)
and we’re getting close to time of death, I might would have, you know, someone go and collect some family photos or memories, things that they really enjoyed and have them displayed on the dresser, you know. So there’s like things to help the family feel like they’re contributing, which they are, of course, which helps them all, you know, kind of set aside whatever grief is probably building up in them and to feel like they’re being helpful.

there are things that we all can do really whenever, but if you see someone with idle hands, they start to kind of, you they start to get anxious or nervous. They start to think about what’s that final breath gonna look like and how does, you know, where do I fit in? What can I do? And so coming up with little things can be helpful.

Intuitive Guidance and Spiritual Connection

Julie Hilsen (12:40)
I love that. do you get any downloads of messages or do you ask the family if they’re willing for you to go there or how does that look when you’re bringing in your intuitive, your guides and tell me about the A-Team and how they’re helping you with this. I saw that you have an A-Team.

Helen Gretchen Jones (12:57)
Okay.

I do. I have a team in spirit who I call A-Team. I rely on them. I I talk with them constantly throughout the day. I rely on them a lot. But they are fantastic at guiding me. So before I go in, I always do a meditation and A-Team comes in and they kind of give me a heads up on what to expect.

They usually give me really validating responses before I meet someone. I mean, I could share stories. I don’t really know where to begin.

Julie Hilsen (13:25)
I’m sure you have so many stories.

Helen Gretchen Jones (13:27)
I do, I do. So

I will share a story about Mrs. Wilma. She was part of NODA program, and so I didn’t know her. But before I went in, I did my meditation, and my team in spirit told me, for lack of better word, they let me know that Mrs. Wilma was going to be an elderly black woman.

who has family, but the family was unable to come in. And so I thought, okay, and the only reason they would tell me that is so that when I show up and it’s validated, I know that I’m connected. I know that I’m hearing spirit correctly. So they give me a few details so that I know that we’re working on the same page here. So when I arrived, sure enough, Mrs. Wilma, elderly, she was in her 90s, black woman, Baptist, that’s what we had on the…

on the door, I put hymns, church music coming from my phone, and I sat down to sort of bring her piece.

And she did have family. They were unable to come in. They were in another state. So when I placed my hands on her, I was holding her right hand with my left hand, sitting in the chair next to her. And I was going to sort of say a prayer or an intention, just kind of bring in love for her. And then out of the corner of my eye, in walks this little girl. She sort of kind of materialized from the doorway. And she was in black and white.

So when I see spirit in black and white, that is a symbol for me that they were alive between 1920 and 1969 respectively. And I think that’s because of black and white photography. that’s the dates. My husband’s a photographer, so I guess maybe that’s the reason it sticks in my head that way.

And so she had her hair twisted in the pigtails and she was probably somewhere between 10 and 12 years old or something. She was around that age and she was wearing like her Sunday best and little black shoes. And she came over and took my hand, my other free hand, my right hand. And when she did, the entire hospital room transformed into a forest. And I got this sort of download of information that…

that she had this sort of overarching theme in her life of segregation and separation. So she had segregation when she was young, and then she had many moments throughout her life where she was separated from family, and then here she is dying alone. So there was a sort of like theme around it.

Julie Hilsen (15:51)
Hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (15:54)
She took my hand though, not only was that information downloaded, but suddenly I felt free. I felt bigger than my body. This happens frequently whenever spirit pulls me out, but I felt huge, expansive, and I felt just free and love and the most, I don’t know, like I could do anything, like I was limitless. And when this hospital room, that was now a forest, it just kind of…

Julie Hilsen (16:04)
Mm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (16:21)
came into my mind’s eye, right? So it’s like I’m in two worlds at once. tells me we’re going to, young Mrs. Wilma tells me we’re gonna climb this tree off to the side. And I’m looking at this tree and the branches are way up high and I’m thinking there’s no way we’re gonna climb this tree. Like how do we even begin? But just by thinking it, we were suddenly at the tippy top, like that, super quick. And even though I’m looking straight ahead, I had a view of a full 360 all the way around me. And she was telling me that this one tree believes that it is one life.

But really, this one tree has all these roots underground. And every root believes that it is its own life. And every branch coming off of this tree believes that it is its own life. And every leaf on these branches, each little leaf thinks that it is its own life. But really, it’s all part of a greater whole. And it’s all connected. And those roots underground are

are connecting to other roots, to other trees in this forest. And this one forest is not just one forest. When you pull back, it’s even bigger part of a larger ecosystem. And it just keeps going, right? So it’s like we’re all connected. And when I hear that story, I think about how this was an important part for her to teach. She was teaching connection. And really, that’s what her life was about. Even though she chose to experience a life as a soul.

Julie Hilsen (17:28)
Hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (17:45)
through separation to have a greater appreciation and understanding of connection. Her entire life was about connection. And it was just such a beautiful story. And I just love Mrs. Wilma for taking those, before she took those last final breaths, for teaching me a little bit more about connection versus separation.

Julie Hilsen (18:00)
you

Yeah, the myth of separation and she experienced that on this incarnation. gosh, it’s so good. It’s so good.

 Lessons from Shared Death Experiences

Helen Gretchen Jones (18:05)
Yeah.

She’s beautiful. so these types of shared death experiences happen quite frequently for me. And so yes, I get downloads of information. I get them before I show up utilizing a team. give me information before I arrive. But the really important thing, I think, to note is that in almost every single one of the deaths that I’ve been a part of, the person

is already standing outside their body before the final breath. And the reason I think that that’s important to say is because when we’re looking at our loved one dying, a lot of us are like, we’re stressed about their suffering. We feel that they’re suffering, struggling to take that last breath. And just when you think that last breath has been taken, one more comes, maybe even 15 seconds later, and it’s hard to watch. But in all my cases,

They’re standing outside their body. The earthly body, the physical body, is shutting down. It’s going through the natural processes that it’s supposed to to return back to the Earth. But I think some of this information is supported with near-death experiencers as well. When they say, they were doing CPR on me, and they were trying to hook me up, and I was on the ceiling of the hospital, that’s because we don’t have to be in the body suffering in those really hard moments.

Julie Hilsen (19:28)
Mm-hmm.

Helen Gretchen Jones (19:34)
step out and observe from a safe place. And that’s what most of my patients who are dying do. They step out of their bodies while their body shuts down.

Julie Hilsen (19:43)
Yeah, and that helps you understand or just get through it to be like, well, they’re in and out. They’re not suffering in their body. They’re up above, like you said, the near-death experiences. the whole Miss Wilma, it’s just such a great lesson that we’re choosing these things. We choose the relativity that we experience.

And it’s okay. And it does enlighten the whole idea that you have a life purpose. And you have this purpose. And when you’re done, when your stay is done, you get to feel the other side of that, whether the purpose was magnificent or if it was like a struggle. Like she was always feeling segregated and separated. And here she…

she showed you the most beautiful connection. And sometimes you can’t see beauty without seeing the other side. And that’s all about, that’s our earth, that’s our free will. We can choose God-like or un-God-like at all moments. Every choice can be one or the other or a mix, or mostly God-like, but I really didn’t want to do it. you know, like, it’s part of…

this human condition and what a lovely, what a story to hold on to a lovely experience like reality that this this is available and and part of it. I’m just wondering what what you would have gotten from my neighbor he was probably playing he’s a big baseball player he is probably you know already playing innings and you know this whole

the last few days of suffering, he really wasn’t suffering. And that’s why I was trying to tell his family that he was in and out and then his spirit wasn’t there suffering with his body, know, our bodies do so much for us and it’s our connection to our loved ones and, you know, their spirit connection is through the body, but it’s easy. We have these words now, we have avatar, right?

30 years ago, nobody knew what an avatar was. And now we have ways to like connect it. We have movies like Avatar, know, like, whew. And then when you watch certain science fictions, you know, movies such as Ready Player One, you can sort of like, I wonder if that’s what our souls go through, you know, instead of, you know, popping into a video game, we pop into a body and, and, you know, it just gets you thinking and, and.

That’s a huge thing about where we are as a mass consciousness is that there’s more things available. You can ask what if and not be considered crazy. What if? So I invite this new perspective and we’ve had different hospice helpers that came at different times where I was losing family members and

Helen Gretchen Jones (22:24)
Ha ha!

Julie Hilsen (22:37)
You could tell, I could see angels around them, totally. And I knew that they were there to help with love, or they’re just showing up. You can tell the ones who are trying to go through the motions are the ones that are really connecting and have this intention of bringing peace and a beautiful experience. So I love that this is something that’s coming forward and it’s a sign of humanity just having so much more compassion.

And that’s an elevated, that’s a 5D. Like when you come with compassion, that’s an elevated existence. So it’s worthwhile, know, it’s not every life is here to, you know, not every interaction is a transaction. And the whole thing that one of the most meaningful stories you have is when someone was part of the Do Not Die Alone program and

and you showed up and said, yes. So I celebrate this on so many levels. It’s just beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.

Compassion and the 5D Experience

Helen Gretchen Jones (23:37)
You’re welcome. I cherish all of these journeys. I go home and I journal all of them. And I have all these journals of patients that I’ve helped transition or my experiences with them. I just, I find so much joy in it.

Julie Hilsen (23:51)
because it’s not, it’s the end of their life here, but it’s, you know that there’s something so much more there for them. I just love it. And wow, to have that part of your, you know, your advanced directive, I would like, you know, if you know your family freaks out about death, you could say, okay, this is something I want as part of my plan. And what a beautiful offering, you know.

Helen Gretchen Jones (23:57)
Definitely.

Julie Hilsen (24:18)
No matter how you if you want to be cremated or do you ever get messages if the person would like like what they if they didn’t have an advanced directive and they wanted to be cremated or buried or or where they might want to be their ashes to be spread if they were cremated like do you ever get any messages like that is that something or no? Like maybe it wasn’t clear but you get a message to tell the family about what they wanted.

Helen Gretchen Jones (24:40)
Like after they transition?

You know, I have never had a deceased loved one come in with specific ideas on how they want their physical body to be remembered or disposed of in any way. Most of the time they’re coming in to tell me messages for their loved ones that they’re okay.

Julie Hilsen (25:00)
Okay, that’s…

you

Helen Gretchen Jones (25:07)
You know,

it’s like, it’s like if you were given a phone call and you’re like, all right, you’ve got five minutes where they’re gonna really hear you loud and clear and after that it’s gonna start to get staticky. Are you gonna spend your time saying, I really hope you spread my ashes on the golf course? Don’t, yeah.

Julie Hilsen (25:20)
You’re

or tell them don’t forget to get gas in your car or something menial like

that. That’s really illuminating. Helen, thank you because you know they don’t it’s not that big of a deal. What happens to their body it’s more about the connection and the love.

Helen Gretchen Jones (25:30)
Yeah.

Yes, and so that’s what they want to tell their loved ones whenever you see a medium or you, which by the way, I encourage people to do. There are a lot of really good certified mediums out there and a lot of really good ones who aren’t certified by the way, but there’s a lot of really good mediums out there. And when I see families say, you know what, what have I got to lose? I’m going to go see a medium, even if it’s a non-traditional way.

of dealing with my grief. I see so much more healing in one session through a medium than people doing months of therapy. Being able to connect to your loved one even for a few more minutes and to have them share with you how much they’re grateful for the way you cared for them at end of life, to tell you how much they love you, to bring up one of their favorite memories with you so you can have that cherished memory with them again. It’s one of the most healing, beautiful experiences you can have.

Julie Hilsen (26:33)
That’s great insight and it’s not a woo-woo thing. It’s a closure. It’s self-care. Like you’re asking me if I ever had grief where I was like, you just don’t even know what’s going on because you’re so sad. And I guess if you’re reaching that point where it’s been two weeks and you’re just, you’re not moving on, like there’s no reason to suffer. Ask for help. Right?

Helen Gretchen Jones (26:38)
It is.

Right, what have you got to lose, right? So

even if you’re like, I don’t know about a medium, you know, but okay, then it didn’t work for you. But why wouldn’t you give it a shot? Because it’s one of the most beautiful experiences you can have.

Julie Hilsen (27:06)
I love that. And no wonder you wanted to write a book about it. mean…

Helen Gretchen Jones (27:10)
I did. So my book is called Healing Whispers from Spirit Guides. it is, what I did was I actually, was told by a team, that’s my team in spirit. I was told by them that I was going to write a book and I have never had an interest in writing a book. I don’t, I guess I shouldn’t say don’t. I didn’t feel qualified in any way to write a book. I just feel like those are people who go to college and study literature. And I don’t know what I’m thinking. It just has never occurred to me.

And I asked what I was supposed to write about and they said, write what you know. Well, I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I didn’t feel an expert in any one thing. But I did have all those journals of these journeys that my patients had taken towards death. And so of course I changed their names, but the books are, the book is chapters of.

short chapters, they make them easy reads, because when you’re in grief, you can’t just keep going on these long chapters. But they are short chapters, and they talk about each one is labeled with the patient’s name, and it’s their journey towards death. And I precede each chapter with what I learned working with people who are dying, what I’ve learned connecting to spirit, and my team and spirit. And I end each chapter, every chapter, with a channeled message from my team. So it encompasses a lot.

I don’t know, I think it’s important to see the variety of different cultures and religions that people are, and their journey towards death utilizing the tools that are valuable to their families. And I don’t know, I just, I love all these people. It was hard to narrow it down to just, you know, 10 people.

Julie Hilsen (28:42)
Mmm, so cool. I really appreciate it. And then you said you have your phone, but you also play crystal bowls So does that does that help with transition? Or is that like, they’re so heavy to bring along, right? Like, I don’t know. I dabble in the bowls. I’m not certified or anything. I just love playing.

Helen Gretchen Jones (28:44)
It might be more than 10.

I do.

Julie Hilsen (29:11)
And it always makes me feel lighter. So it’s self care for me I ask like to the download of what to play next. I’ll just sort of just let, let the bowls play themselves. I’m just a intermediate, you know what I mean? Like I have a set of intention. just sort of go, but how do you incorporate the, the singing bowls or the crystal bowls with your, when you come to visit, or is it sort of up to whatever you feel?

Helen Gretchen Jones (29:37)
Both and so I have and I do incorporate the bowls. I have both the crystal bowls and I also have the Tibetan metal bowls and so Usually I will get I’ll put just kind of stand there over the bowls

Sound Healing: The Role of Crystal Bowls

or in front of the bowls and I’ll just get pulled to like three that I really feel maybe are going to resonate more with my client and I might just take three. With the metal bowls, I can be a little bit more, you know, they’re not gonna break. So I can toss them in the car a little bit more quickly. And I do love taking the metal ones to the nursing homes if I’m gonna go visit one patient because if I’ve got one patient who I put it in their lap and I kind of let them play with it for a little while.

Julie Hilsen (30:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Helen Gretchen Jones (30:20)
and let them kind of, it helps them oftentimes to open up a little bit more because now they’re doing something. And oftentimes it’s when you’re sitting and you’re staring at someone that you don’t want to say, don’t, you you’re just trying to be polite, but when you’re doing something, you know, so when it brings people in from the hallway, people start wanting, and I can hand out bowls to everybody because they’re the metal ones and that you could just kind of toss them at people. And so it,

The metal ones I use for more like if I’m gonna go to a nursing home. If someone’s transitioning, I’ll feel out maybe three. If I feel like four, maybe. If I only feel two, you know, it’s intuitive. And then I take those two. Yes. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen (30:55)
Yeah, because you can get amazing sound from three. I mean, you can really…

And I’ve had that resonates with me so much because sometimes my friends will be like, bring up we’re going to meditate and they’re like, bring the bowls and I’ll be like, I’m just bringing two this time and it’s gonna work. And it’s and I’ve never I’ve never heard someone say, well, why do you bring all of them? It’s always it’s always beneficial. It’s always like something worthwhile.

Helen Gretchen Jones (31:08)
Yep.

You know, and unless you’re going to be

doing like a sound bath to a whole room of people, really, if you’ve already set the intention for who you’re going to go meet, then you’re going to kind of, you know, feel out which bulls are going to be right before you go.

Julie Hilsen (31:27)
Yeah. it’s so beautiful. I cherish this so much. We’re coming up on our time and I just, I want to make sure you get everything that’s on your heart to express. I I had talking points, but we just sort of hit them organically. So I’m really excited about this.

Helen Gretchen Jones (31:46)
I feel really good about it. I will say when you were talking about the crystal bowls, I have the ones that are like colored, like all the colors of the chakras, the crystal bowls, so they’re not all the white ones. And I have the throat chakra, which is the prettiest shade of blue. It’s like this Caribbean waters blue. And I just love taking that one with me. I almost always take it if I’m gonna go take crystal bowls to a patient. And I feel like it’s for communication, right? It’s the throat chakra.

Julie Hilsen (31:57)
huh.

Helen Gretchen Jones (32:11)
And so I always feel kind of like if we could just get some connection moving, if we can get people connecting and communicating with each other before end of death. So I do love to take that blue bowl with me, that throat chakra bowl.

Julie Hilsen (32:21)
Yeah,

what comes to me is that blue is, like when you bring in blue light, that’s always a healing too. Yeah, it’s soothing.

Helen Gretchen Jones (32:29)
Is it? You know, whenever I see beings

of light, they’re almost always blue light. Just that’s how I perceive them as blue light. So I have that connection to the blue.

Julie Hilsen (32:34)
Yeah. Yeah.

I love that. And

the water, like, I love to do the infinity wave and I’ll picture water going through of an infinity symbol.

I had another guest who taught me how to do it and I have her book and it’s just like, it’s so fun. So I’ll run compassion and love with the blue water through the infinity wave just to move out, like stock energy and even like self doubt, you know, if you can give yourself compassion when you’re feeling like you’re being tested and just trust that that test is part of why you’re here.

And you can go back to Miss Wilma in that beautiful image of her being so connected and we’re all so connected, but maybe it’s not everybody’s soul path to experience it in the opposite. just go back to every challenge is there for you to face and just trust. Trust that this is part of your journey and we’re all here. There’s no mistakes. Just so happy I got to meet you today. Thank you so much.

Helen Gretchen Jones (33:39)
No.

You are so sweet. I’m so happy to be here and you are such a light and I’m so grateful to have this connection with you.

Julie Hilsen (33:50)
All the best and I might have to sign up to help people who are dying alone because I just tugged at my heart so hard and there’s a hospice center I’ll bring flowers to. I never thought of volunteering so I mean if they I’m gonna see if they need someone to come help just to you know just be like a candy striper but

Helen Gretchen Jones (34:10)
Yeah, absolutely. They always need help. Definitely.

Julie Hilsen (34:15)
Yeah, it’s such a precious time and I feel like there’s so many transitions that we just, we could do a better job honoring. And so that’s something in my heart that, know, honoring not only just like birth and death, but also like.

you know, when you I’m gonna have an empty house next month. Well, in a few weeks, I’m going to be like looking around at my husband and my dog going, what are we going to do? Boys are both gone. And so I need to set up like ritual around that about, you know, empty nest and, you know, ritual around the last time you’re going to do something like we don’t have we don’t have many times to sit back and just say, All right, well, this part of my life is over and I’m transitioning and it’s

I honor where I was, I’m also looking forward to where I’m going, but it’s good to be right where you are at the moment.

I’m just sending love and compassion to anyone going through difficult transitions that might not even be recognized by friends or family or maybe not even yourself. To get quiet and say, hey, this is something I’m going through that takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. So I’m holding that. I’m holding space for everyone or anyone who is having that and acknowledge that it is something to look at if you’re willing to take that jump or the courage or just the

go there. It’s worth it because you come out stronger and happier and lighter on the other side.

Helen Gretchen Jones (35:40)
You do. Yeah, will say, I mentioned earlier that I do all my journaling. And I’m not a scientist. I’m just collecting data in these journals. And I’m definitely not a scientist. But when I look back at the journals and the people who I have gotten to know who have had these long, kind of drawn out deaths, these long prognosis with their terminal illness, they

are typically people that, at least in every case so far, who didn’t allow themselves to receive a lot of love. They were okay with giving love. But when people say, thank you so much for doing this, they’re the kind of people who would say, no big deal, was no big, you know, and be dismissive of accepting the thank you instead of saying you’re welcome, which is one way of like really honoring that connection with that person. But these people who,

It’s like the universe, all that is tells them, all right, you know what? You’re going to have this long death and you’re going to have one last opportunity to know what it feels like to receive love, to receive care, to be served in that way and to open yourself up to it because you don’t have any other choice. I don’t know if there’s something to that, but at least there’s something to it with all the cases I have been on so far.

Julie Hilsen (36:45)
Mmm.

I mean, it’s a pattern and and so yeah, so go there people.

Helen Gretchen Jones (36:57)
It is.

So yeah, and when you were

saying about being vulnerable and open and honoring these transitions and allowing yourself to being open to that and honoring any kind of transition that you’re having or any service that you give to someone else, recognizing that you did something that was of service in some way and saying, I did that and be OK with it instead of brushing it off. Allow yourself to receive that love and that recognition. So anyway, I just wanted to add that.

Julie Hilsen (37:26)
I that.

just picture someone going, you’re welcome, and spinning around in a circle being like, Celebrate, celebrate the way you show up because it’s beautiful. And you’re not being braggy. This braggy thing, it just makes me crazy. Just celebrate, who cares?

Helen Gretchen Jones (37:31)
Yes! Yeah!

Yes.

Well, and same

thing when someone gives you a compliment instead of saying, this old thing or I just washed my hair, know, like, you know, dismissing it. Don’t be dismissive. Receive that love and say, wow, thank you.

Julie Hilsen (37:58)
It’s all fleeting anyway. Like, I was just, I was just like mourning my 40 year old body. I’m 50 and I’m like, gosh, I should have worn better bathing suits in my 30s and 40s. I’m I’m worn stuff all the time.

Helen Gretchen Jones (38:11)
That’s funny. You’re going to look back at 60 and think, gosh, I should have worn that bathing suit at 50.

Julie Hilsen (38:13)
There you go.

Amen, sister.

Who cares?

So. Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

Helen Gretchen Jones (38:18)
Good. Me too.

Thank you so much. Bye bye.