Julie Hilsen: 0:01

Life of Love. Life of Love. Life of Love. Life of Love With Julie Hilsen. Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love. We are so blessed to have you come every Thursday to listen to our message and, hopefully, some inspiration and divine guidance for living your life of love. And today we have no exception to the rule. We have Antonia with us and she’s a beautiful spirit who’s dedicated her life to helping people with their growth, and I’m going to let her talk about the special ways that she’s been doing that and her story of how we connected and just the magic of synchronicity. So it’s always a delight to connect with another. I feel soul sister, with a message of hope and resilience and hopefully we’re going to shed some light on some symptoms that are being felt. Antonia, thank you for being here on Life of Love.

Antonia: 1:05

Oh, it really truly feels like such a privilege to connect here with you. I’m really really glad to be here.

Julie Hilsen: 1:13

You’re in Toronto, so it’s beautiful. I love that we’re separate parts of a continent, right, because I’m in South Georgia no, I’m in North Georgia, but South of USA, so it’s quite a span, but I’m so glad we’re able to connect. Thank you, it’s lovely. So tell me and help my audience get to know you as to what spurred your interest in living and serving the way you are.

Antonia: 1:45

Yeah, to put it in as brief as possible, because usually these are complex, dramatic stories that leap us from one place in our evolution to another, but it was back in 2006. I remember one single moment sitting in the office feeling and thinking I’m not supposed to be here and I’ve never, ever, experienced that before. Now. I come from a long history of academia. I spent a lot of years in university getting the degrees, learning all the learnings that you could do, trying to get credibility, working in human rights and politics, so I came from a very mind-centered place and then suddenly, in 2006, everything turned upside down and I didn’t understand it. I had no reference point. My family came from a very secular background. We talked politics, we talked school. We didn’t talk spirituality or religion or metaphysics, so I had nobody around me to start to discuss this really weird, weird stuff that started to happen. So, speaking of synchronicity, suddenly I started experiencing, for the first time in my life, overwhelming synchronicities that were guiding me towards things in the metaphysical realm. I started to talk about things outside of mind, started to talk about energy and intuition, and et cetera, et cetera. Now I had been sort of dabbling in yoga, a naturopathic healing, so it wasn’t foreign to me sort of stepping outside the mainstream, but this was well beyond. So what happened is I went through wild, wild times. In fact, I went through what I would consider about three months in the state of Samadhi, which is like this bliss state where it was this deep sense of compassion and understanding towards everything and this love, and it kind of freaked me out because I didn’t know where it was coming from or what it was about and nobody to talk about, talk to about it, and then shortly after that would start to happen is I started to release pain, emotionally, energetically, physically, and I’d walk in after work and suddenly energy would start shooting through my body which I just barely starting to understand. That’s what it was followed by, sometimes like blackouts and really this trauma moving through my body, where my mind sometimes would short circuit, couldn’t understand what was happening, and then tears, agonizing tears, would flood, and that would start happening all the time. And then I recognized it would happen more if I was started to meditate compulsively. It would start happening when I was meditating. It would start happening when I suddenly I’m in an Ayurveda class and I’m studying Ayurveda because a dream told me, my one and only dream. So I started to recognize that there were certain things that would come in and prompt. Suddenly I’m on a yoga mat and you know, my body would explode, this pain coming out of it. And then the beautiful thing was is that after this pain moved out, suddenly some things made sense. It became clear and I felt again that love and that compassion and that understanding and that connection, and then this expanding wisdom. Oh, pain is here and pain goes underneath. It Is love. Is that what’s really going on? Is that all? Is that what’s really happening? Is that when we start to let go of the pain, we start to unleash what’s really? What we’re really about is love? And my mind’s going oh, my God, that’s so mushy Like. What are we talking about? How sentimental we’re all love Like. But what if it’s true? I think it’s true. So I started right just to connect on my own, because I was still figuring this out and scared to share it, because I felt the shame about all of this. I come from this intellectual world and suddenly we’re talking about spirits and intuition.

Julie Hilsen: 5:36

Well, you didn’t want to be institutionalized, either, like if you were blunt with somebody about these symptoms, they’d be like these are psychotic episodes, or there’s so many different ways you could be labeled so it’s a very vulnerable thing to share it with somebody who could use it to control you or to give feed more fear, like if they don’t understand it, then you’re feeding the fear monster. Wow, and so that was in 2006. And you? How long did it take you to get to that state of acceptance and love that you had detoxed? It sounds like you went through a really strong detox.

Antonia: 6:12

Well, I’m still going through it, still going through it, still very strong, and it’s very uncomfortable. Especially around this area in Toronto, around the Great Lakes, the energies are really kind of sticky, so it’s a bit harder here. You kind of have to do a lot of extra work to move and metabolize. When I get over by the ocean or in the desert, things move so much easier, but here it’s a bit harder. But it’s still moving through and sometimes it’s really really fast right, and you get those intense understandings and that big seeing and then sometimes it feels like it’s moving in a crawl and you’re kind of stuck in the muck a bit longer. But it’s still going on, it’s still moving. This is 17 years later.

Julie Hilsen: 6:49

Yeah, it’s just doing the math in my head, I’m like we’re almost 20 years, it’s getting on to 20 years, and so it’s. I can understand why you were spurred to write your book, because this is something If you could help us like. See, you talk a lot about the 3D reality. Yeah, and what’s your lens for accepting the 3D reality while the spirituality is coming in? And how do you accept and how do you integrate when things are coming in and your energy is coming, but then you have to live in this 3D world.

Antonia: 7:32

Yeah, I think that’s a big question. I think there’s lots to that. So I think accept this 3D world is the medicine, because I think that this 3D reality is made up of pain in our bodies and then the pain in our bodies interacts with other people’s pain in their bodies right, and that fear and shame and rage and grief and guilt that we have etched in our bodies then co-creates the reality of fear, shame and rage with others. What’s missing out of fear, shame and rage are things like acceptance. So when we start to accept, the fear, shame and rage is there, because that is the heaviness of this reality that I think many of us we signed up for To come down here in this really dense place and experience the contracted, dense, unaware, unseeing reality of the 3D, and that many of us are here to bring in, then, the energies of awareness, expansion and acceptance into this very contracted, unaccepting, unaware place which is pain. Pain is not aware, pain is not accepting, pain does not see anything but itself. That’s why we lack empathy when we’re uncomfortable. So I think that that is what we’re here for is to accept, bring acceptance, compassion and love into that contracted state. We’re kind of it’s now permeating the expanding states, the energies, the higher energies of acceptance, awareness, compassion, into that 3D reality which is the whole evolutionary creative process. That’s what we’re doing, that’s what we’re creating.

Julie Hilsen: 9:17

Does that make sense, yes, and I have so much to unpack. I have so much to unpack because it is constant and I have. I have a personal story of something that I’m dealing with. I also have a common history. I was, I was born and raised in Sandusky, ohio, which is on Lake Erie, so I experienced the density of it and I was drawn to move to the coast I knew I was going to. I got my master’s degree in Cleveland and you know I was always going to move to Charleston, but then I met my husband and he’s he’s from Atlanta, and so we, we moved here in 90, 99. It was after the Olympics were here and there’s lots of energy and the mountains are here, and so I felt compelled to leave, like usually, people in my family don’t leave Ohio. I have an antelous in Texas and then there’s some distant cousins that live out in California, but everyone else is there and it’s hard, right, it’s hard to be away from family, and so I’ve. I felt I’m very sensitive to energies and you know it’s been something that I’ve always had to work through. Well, I have a brother who has struggled with substance abuse and chronic pain and he’s the most sensitive, loving person you’ll ever meet. But he gets into these, these dark places where he’s working through the pain and it’s and it’s hard to relate and it’s like you know you, you get scared because you have these ideas that that people need to be healthy, and so I don’t know how to explain this. But I’ve been working on, on releasing judgments and and I think that I’m on a good path, and then all of a sudden, I’m like I had a list of 15 things that are fear based emotions and I was going through them. I’m like I’m doing pretty good with these. I’m doing pretty good and I asked. I asked them to be released from my subconscious. I was doing deep work, like I even laid down with them and asked them to be released, and I, and with all my heart, I wanted this to happen. So I’m in this great place. And then I wrote down my golden values, which weren’t given to me. I was just, I just wrote them down at what was on my heart after I released the old stuff and I was feeling really good, antonia, I was like, oh my gosh, this is a spiritualist, I’m doing this and you know, it’d been a while since I had a dark night of the soul and had anything. But I’ve definitely gone through those times where you can’t even talk, that your head doesn’t work and you just, you’re just having a hard time. So I get a text message from my brother, who I love but I’ve been avoiding because I I wanted to have a week with my son in Hilton Head and I wanted my parents to come visit, but I wasn’t comfortable asking my brother to come because of his physical and his mental stuff that he goes through in his everyday life. And I talked to my dad and he’s, like you know, joking at calm. He needs someone to take care of his dogs and he’s he’s having trouble. And I, instead of reaching out and saying, hey, I understand that things are rough for you right now, I was just avoiding him. And when, once I released these, these judgments in the subconscious programming I had going, I could see how I was just so wrong that I hadn’t been a good sister and it hit me. It hit me so hard. I was bawling and I was just. I was like you are, you have a show called life of love and you’re not being compassionate to your own brother, you know, and I was just like whoa, you know, it was like really hard, it was really hard to work through and I’m still, you can see, I’m still working on it. But these, these ideas that we’re, we’re other, that we’re better than someone, because we can function at a higher level, that we can be at a vibration that can serve other people, that that you know, that we’re entitled to, to deny someone else connection, you know like these things are, these things are really human and we all do it right and I’m sure, like I call my brother and we’ll talk and he’ll, we’ll work it out. You know, I always can tell him what’s on my heart, you know, and it’ll be fine. And he and I can’t own what he’s going through, like he needs surgery and he needs, he needs a lot of help, but he’s in that, he’s in that Great Lakes area and he’s very connected to nature and spirit, and so he’s, he’s supposed to be there and he’s working through a lot. But sometimes I just want to pick him up and take him somewhere else that he can be on here.

Antonia: 14:07

Yeah, I mean we want to rescue a, but I think that’s also part of the density, because the pain, this pain reality, also believes that there’s something wrong with pain Right, and I think we need to change. I think that we are going to and that’s what I’m hoping in this book is to continue to facilitate a conversation about shifting our relationship with pain, and that is is that trapped within. Like you, you went into work. That was really a deep seeing. You wanted to see the stories that were keeping you from connecting, that were keeping you locked in fear, and so you went in with a lot of love and acceptance. You opened eyes and heart to it and in doing that, that came to the surface and then, along with it, buried underneath that density, was so much connection and healing and love. I mean the density just dissolved and then you have this deeper connection with. So I think that that is where we want to go, is we don’t want to see the pain is and something to resist, control and suppress and deny, which is what we’ve been doing for thousands of years. But to see it as it is, it is packed with buried potential and and that it within it is like the untapped resource of love. And so, yes, yeah, so we want it, we’re and we are, we’re shifting our relationship, but we want to see it and I think there’s lots of ways that you’re describing, even when we’re on this righteous path, that we don’t Want to see it, by making ourselves better, superior, competing, judging. Those are all ways that we camouflage our own density, our own ego, our own 3d, and our body, our mind, camouflages it, but really those are just, that’s just more fear that is left unseen and unaware and keeps us Anchored into a pain reality versus moving into a reality of connection.

Julie Hilsen: 15:57

Hmm, it’s so beautiful. It is so beautiful.

Antonia: 16:02

And it hurts. It hurts and it’s beautiful, like they Right. I think we have to be a little bit more comfortable Getting uncomfortable, because we chose to come into an uncomfortable reality and then disassemble that.

Julie Hilsen: 16:15

Right and the tendency is to deflect and say oh, that’s them, they’re on that path. Well, our paths are connected. Yeah, you said like that. The. The collective consciousness promotes this fear, this judgment, this, this idea that we are separate and so the idea that, no, nobody’s problem is just theirs.

Antonia: 16:39

No, in fact it’s a mirror for us. If we are willing to get quiet, go in, we really see that all of it is just a reflection of our own density back at us. And so if we can quiet all those ego stories of blaming and shaming because we’re addicted to those, we have a deep addiction and addiction is avoidance and if we can quiet all those and get really quiet, we can see that everything out there is a gift to show us exactly where I should be looking in here and that’s ready to be doused with all sorts of acceptance and love and high frequencies In order to be transformed into the creative force that it is.

Julie Hilsen: 17:25

Because you can use that for creativity. You can and it’s it’s the opposite of Laming brain blame. You’re gonna accept and own your part and then you can be creative with a solution and you can have a Lightness of your heart to be in resource and I think that’s just physics.

Antonia: 17:42

That’s not even just woo-woo sentimental stuff, that’s physics. You put it outside of your abilities, your touch. If you don’t own it, it’s literally outside, because you put it outside your awareness when you bring it in, go, go away. I own everything that’s in this Vessel. This is all mine to figure out. We get access to it, we get physical access to it and we are allowed to then make choice and direct energy and create transformation and potential. So if we don’t own it, we literally put it outside of our, our reach.

Julie Hilsen: 18:17

Like quantum physics is what you’re, what you’re referring to? Is that the idea that you can make an effect At a quantum level just with your thoughts, your attitude, your ownership it’s? We have no idea how powerful we are, yeah, we just we.

Antonia: 18:33

Yeah, yeah, it’s fear doesn’t know. Fear doesn’t know how powerful we are right. It’s fear that tells us we are powerless. It’s fear that tells us we’re victim and it’s fear that tells us we’re separate. So we need to see the fear in order to give it a different message.

Julie Hilsen: 18:50

So that might segue into my. My next talking point I had with you is is how do you know you’re in the energy of change or that the healing potential is coming in? Is is that fear when you, when you have that, that not in your stomach, that things aren’t Right? Or like what are you? What are some symptoms that you’re in this energy of change? As I wondered if you could Illuminate some of that, because people might be going through things and think that they’re broken and they’re really getting an opportunity. So can you shed some light on?

Antonia: 19:20

that, yeah, I think there’s so many and so sometimes it’s like you got a triangulate, get multiple points of data in order to go oh, I think this is not just a tummy ache, this is really that my body’s detoxing old Stories and now is trying to, you know, move them through. But I think, you know, some of the ones that I experience quite often are aches, and it’s often if I’m in the middle of a Something emotionally challenging and I’m willing to see it and bring energy in and transform it, then something in my body starts to get Uncomfortable. I start to get achy and it’s often back pain, because there’s energy in there that’s trying to work on it and burn it off. So I get back pain and joint pain and a lot of us getting a lot of a lot of experiencing pain in our hips and so as muscles. That’s a big one. I’m hearing more and more. I thought it was just me, but that hips and the so as muscle that gets stuff gets really stuck in there and causes mobility challenges.

Julie Hilsen: 20:20

Yeah that’s been coming across my I don’t know what my YouTube V keeps showing me, but the, the craniosacral connection that when you have tightness in your face, it’s also translated to your hips and your sacral, because it’s all, it’s all one. It’s three points of alignment. It makes sense. Yeah, if you can open your hips, you can release the tension in your face, or vice versa, whatever you can get at. Thank you, it’s really interesting. That is good, really interesting stuff. It’s just type in craniosacral. Hip alignment yeah and, yeah, that’s why yoga is so great and I’m not surprised you had some symptoms of, you know, spirituality coming in with doing the yoga work. I remember the first time I did the Shavasana and it was a you know, I had just had babies and it was like I would just do the whole class for the Shavasana. I was like I can just lay here in a dark room and have a lady come dab lavender on my forehead, I’m in. But then you lay there and you really relax and you really let your shoulders melt into the earth and you, your feet are open and you’re just like you can feel the energy if you, you know what you’ve created and it’s just tuning into that is. It’s a very powerful way to open up. So, so people are happy. If you’re having these reoccurring physical symptoms, it’s always your body, like you. I want to hear you saying it’s your body, saying you’re working through something Really tension lots of them, head, brain fog can happen.

Antonia: 22:08

Digestion a lot of people that I know who are going through that have to release things like sugar from their diet. I had to get rid of sugar. All alcohol, all grains had to go. What else had to go? Grains, sugar, alcohol, caffeine. I could couldn’t consume caffeine because you’re processing pain and the body’s overwhelmed, it’s trying to detox. So you got to keep it clean so you provide a clean channel for these toxins to move through. So people who are experiencing a lot of bloating if they’re eating you know, the grains, wheats and sugars or a lot of fungus, the body, because when we detox the body’s releasing also old fungus, old molds and mildews. When you’re getting that really old, like ancestral stuff that’s moving through the intergenerational trauma, you release a lot of fungus. It’s really weird. So, yeah, keeping your digestion really clean. A lot of people are kind of forced into doing that and of course, people are crying a lot, like every time I hear somebody who gets on a stationary bike or elliptical and they’re like, and suddenly I’m crying, I start to like, yeah, exactly, they’re detoxing, cause that’s been saving my butt for almost 17 years as stationary bikes, elliptical, cause it produces an electromagnetic field which helps you detox stuck energies right and so you start to release. I’ve been crying on my elliptical downstairs for 10 years. Big, big shifts in reality have been happening on an elliptical. It’s beautiful.

Julie Hilsen: 23:40

Yeah, I saw a video online. This lady was cry dancing. Sanitation yeah, it’s like, if you’re feeling that way, just put on some crazy music and just cry, dance, just get slobberied. There’s a function for that, there’s definitely.

Antonia: 23:57

Absolutely necessary. Absolutely necessary. And then a big one up here especially is even my skin burns when there’s so much energy. If I have a release, my skin will burn, Cause the more we release the density, the more energy moves and it still comes into. You know, it’s friction with this physical reality and the light reality. It starts to burn the physical reality.

Julie Hilsen: 24:20

It’s really interesting.

Antonia: 24:21

So there’s a lot going on.

Julie Hilsen: 24:23

I bet you coach people on anti-inflammatory foods and you know that big thing. I would think if people just saw what sugar they’re taking in, Like if you could see what the sugar is doing to you and how much it’s in everything. Absolutely yeah. You can’t buy a yogurt hardly without any sugar, you know.

Antonia: 24:45

Processed foods, any of those sauces and stuff. Yeah, I went through years of having to get rid of all of it. I just eat veggie, veggie, veggie protein, that’s all. I eat Veggie, veggie, veggie protein and fruit for breakfast and that’s clean, clean, clean. Because when your energies start to really metabolize old, old programs, then the genetically modified become problematic. It doesn’t know what to do with it. The energy’s like I don’t know what to do with this anymore. So we need to keep it basic, basic, basic and clean and not processed, to make sure that the body is not draining all its resources and even putting it in a fight or flight state, because when we poison the body with sugar, we’re activating still that fight or flight. The body does not feel safe and in order to process trauma which is what we’re doing when we’re releasing the 3D pains we are releasing trauma. To release trauma, we need to feel safe, otherwise we’re gonna hold on In survival mode. We don’t release trauma, we run, we fight right, we don’t need to release trauma. So, in these privileged places where it’s safe enough for us to start to let go of these old, old stories, we’re here to feed that story of safety more and more in the body by good food, good movement, good breath and healthy environment, putting boundaries up so that we feel safer and safer, and then more the trauma is going to release, the more the energy is going to flow and start to heal the programs.

Julie Hilsen: 26:14

Yeah, and it’s an evolution, it’s a call to live more in light. Exactly, I’m all about that. I think sometimes you can get addicted to the adrenaline rush to recreate if that’s part of your program to have fight or flight, to feel the rush, you can get addicted to the adrenaline. And if you step back and look at your behavior and see if you’re an adrenaline junkie, if you’re somebody who was always looking for the conflict or the place where you’re being taken advantage of or you’re always talking about, you know, I used to get stuck in the Drama to be like, well, what’s what’s going on here, what’s going on there? And it’s not healthy, right, it’s. It can be gossip, it can be just recycling old stories in your body. You’re just recycling and if you don’t, if you don’t step back and have your awareness, like I was talking about, accept your reality, feel what’s happening, are you contributing to peace and love? Are you contributing to chaos and fear? Because those four things, those two and those two pairs can’t coexist.

Antonia: 27:24

They absolutely can’t. No, they can’t. And to go into the higher reality reality, you can’t drag it with you right? So you got to transform it, so you got to see it as something that’s really holding you back versus taking care of you, because for thousands of years Fear and anger has taken care of us. It has, we’ve been treating each other really badly for thousands of years, so it makes sense that those old programs would be there and they’re kind of sticky and difficult to move through. But Now for many of us, we are able to see them and see how they’re just not representing a reality anymore, less than we think they are, that we have more power now to create a reality of love than we ever could.

Julie Hilsen: 28:05

Do you think that reality, that possibility is available because we all have food and most of us have shelter and well, especially anyone listening to a podcast. You have internet, you’re, you’re at a, you’re in a place of a privilege, that you have access to An electronic device and you know, is it our society is? Is supporting people Enough with the basic needs that were there, or, as you think, is something planetary, or you think it’s both? How do you think this has come about, that these things are, are Surfacing? I mean, you didn’t. You didn’t go asking for it, you didn’t say I open up and I release any contract. You, you were part of a Well-greased machine of academia and in your history. So what do you? What do you think spurs this? That? You? You do a little yoga, you experiment with essential oils, like what’s the Alchemy going on? Do you know?

Antonia: 29:02

Yeah, I actually don’t know Everything. I have some senses that clearly come through and I think that you know Richard Red would say you don’t have any control over your awakening. It’s just as spontaneous. But I do think that while some of us are spontaneous, we’re also here to activate it in others who are, who are ready to see.

Julie Hilsen: 29:25

Because that’s an, a gene keys that the people are supposed to be teachers.

Antonia: 29:29

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I think there’s some spontaneous, and I think that that’s in alignment with what’s going on in the planet in general, and then I think that that is feeding others who have come down here to To step into a place of seeing in their own way. So I think that there’s sort of multi I’m guessing there’s multiple things all working in this beautiful flow, this poetry, this symmetry, and we’re just a piece of this very complex something. It’s so far beyond my mind’s capacity to understand. I’m quite humble that I don’t know much, but I do believe it’s far more complex and beautiful than we really yet understand.

Julie Hilsen: 30:04

Oh, my gosh, I just realized that. Okay, so Richard Red got the gene keys from Rahar. Who is that? my saying is he did the human design that I’m the each thing, and the each thing and the well that, yeah, the human design incorporates each thing, right. But so what happened when that Raharahu and probably saying his name wrong, but he wasn’t, he was sort of like you, academic, I think he was an engineer, but he just got this download in 1980. I believe it was. It was in the mid 80s, 85, 87 ish. But when he got the download of a human design it coincided with an asteroid exploding over I believe it was Brazil and and these protons like were released in this explosion. Like things didn’t hit the earth, but there were activated protons released around, you know, around earth. And I’m wondering this is a sort of my theory, because when I started learning about the electromagnetic Frequency of the earth and solar flares and in these, these tiny particles of energy called protons, and how we’re so sensitive, you know, were those messages that were carried through the galactic forces to help us? And then we were given this wonderful the. Each thing is ancient. But then this man, raharahu, was able to do the human design and he helped, he’s helped so many people and when you do your, your profile, you’re like it’s crazy how accurate it can be and I think human designs a little limiting and that it’s sort of cookie cutter. It’s very scientific. I don’t feel very spiritual when I read it, but however, richard Rudd and the Jean Keys, he just, he just exploded it. So it’s, it’s such an amazing energetic thing and we’re in the middle of a proton belt, like going through the galaxy. So, you know, is it possible that we’re picking up this higher energy? It’s raising our whole frequency, I mean the frequency the earth has increased.

Antonia: 32:10

Yeah, I think there are many that have have verified that in many ways. So, yeah, yeah, and I think we’re riding the wave as well, or or it’s Dragging us along. So, yeah, in addition to whatever like, I think that many of us come here with our own unique agendas on what this is about at this particular time. So I think that there’s a lot of you know, you know, a lot of things woven together to make up this beautiful sort of mysterious tapestry of, yeah, a movement forward of evolution.

Julie Hilsen: 32:46

Yeah, and it’s just such an exciting time to be alive. I know there’s there’s a lot of, there’s a lot of detox going on, there’s a lot of things and and the industrial war complex is going strong. I mean, hopefully, by the time this airs, everything settles down in the world a little bit. I mean, I know I’m I’m praying and sending out healing and resolution to, to all the Middle East. I don’t think it’s one country or another. I think the whole thing is just a big detox. And you know I’m trying not to pick sides. I’m just trying to say Reveal any corruption that’s leading to these wars Is what I’m putting out there, because it’s, it’s the, it’s the little people, people who are just going to work and trying to live their lives and raise their kids. Those are the people being victimized. It’s not the people making all the money off of. Comfort, as it always is as it always is. Yeah, and I’m not. You know, it’s like we just need to. We just need to detox from this. This has to be revealed, that there there’s power structures that encourage war, and we need to see that. I think that loud. It is because we’re scared, we think people are different, so we need to protect ourselves from them. You know what causes this? This? To me, it’s a general feeling of lack of abundance.

Antonia: 34:07

And separation right. You know it’s this sort of. You know, my book is called dismayling a third direct dimension, transforming our trauma from tribe to collective. And so the tribe is the us and them the other, the disconnection, the separation and all of those. That myth of separation is hidden within our pain, in our body. And so I think in this process of evolution we’re going. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not playing that, I’m not in that reality. Some people believe that that’s still them. They still believe that that’s who they are. Their pain and the myth of separation is the foundation of their reality and they need to figure out when they’re ready to let it go. If ever, who am I to know? I don’t know, but I’m here to let it go. And in letting it go and not living in that, I sit, hopefully, in a space of compassion and acceptance and love. And then that energy transmits to anything around me as it should or needs to or however it wants to, but not to really want to rescue or even deny that. That reality is there Because people have a choice. If they want to live in the wartime industrial complex, like that’s what they choose to do. I don’t even want to shame or judge that, because then that keeps me in the pain reality, then I remain asleep, then I keep myself from waking up. So I’m just here, convincing any part of me that’s afraid of it, or in denial, or want something different. I’m just here to keep talking to those parts in me that goes. But we don’t do that anymore. I know you’re scared, but I’m here, I’m going to bring a little love in there, a little compassion in there, a little acceptance. We’re just going to keep opening up anything in me that resists what is really happening, which is we’re not doing it. We’re not in that, we don’t exist in that anymore. That’s not who I am and yeah, so beautiful.

Julie Hilsen: 35:59

Yay, oh, my goodness, we’re coming up on our time together and I didn’t know I was going to talk about the industrial war complex today, but I’m glad it came up, because I think it’s an important thing to see that that’s a thing.

Antonia: 36:11

Like that is a thing. Yeah, it is a thing, except I’m going to make sure it’s not a thing in here, right?

Julie Hilsen: 36:19

Not part of what you feed into.

Antonia: 36:22

Exactly Not my reality. I’m doing a different reality. And anybody else who wants to come here and co-create a different reality, because there’s so many, we’re just not making it on the news, right, we’re just not making it on CNN. But there’s a lot of us here who are going, I’m not doing that. I’m not doing that. And if anybody who are tempted to step over into that fear, I think the rest of us, I think we should just be going. No, it’s OK, come on, dear, come on. We got you, we’re taking care of you. Yeah, it’s safe. It’s safe now.

Julie Hilsen: 36:50

It’s OK, you give me so much hope and thanks for listening to my story about, but I felt compelled to share because it’s very. Your relationships with your siblings are your longest relationships you have and will have, and there’s a lot of coping mechanisms. I realized I coped with his difficulties through judging and avoidance Exactly, and I had to see that and work through it and it hurt and so thank you for holding space for me and writing your book. I’ll share a link to your book in my show notes and just keep the good work going. I feel so inspired by your presence and I thank you.

Antonia: 37:34

Oh, julie, I’m so grateful for you creating this space in order for us to write, to share that and to transmit that energy that so many of us are doing, and we need more of us to continue to do so. It’s really, really, quite an honor to be here with you.

Julie Hilsen: 37:49

Thank you.