Julie Hilsen Host 00:00
Life of Love. Life of Love Life of Love Life of Love With Julie Hilsen. Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love. We explore everything that brings our life more joy, all the curiosity that we can bring in to enhance our lives, and today is a very special day.
00:22
I get to stream from Israel and ST Rappaport is. She was visiting Israel and she’s decided to stay and help. So she’s an angel. We talk about angels on my show and I just want you to know she’s a living, breathing angel sitting here with me and we’re just wrapping protection around her and hopefully this all clears up because it’s just, it’s atrocious, and so not to focus on that. But we’re focusing on our life of love and you know, living your best life involves showing up in your best self. Sometimes, when you’re different, you have to really search to find that path, but it gets illuminated so clearly and I’m really excited to have ST bring her story. She’s a brain engineer and she’s going to tell us what that means and she’s just an amazing human. So, without further ado, welcome ST. Thanks for being here on Life of Love.
Brain Engineer
ST Rappaport Guest01:20
Thank you so much, julie, for having me. I’m so excited to be here with you today.
Julie Hilsen Host 01:25
Well, your devotion to helping humanity is just so apparent and you know, I’m just really happy that you carved out this time in the middle of the night to meet with me, because you’re halfway around the world. Basically, I don’t take it lightly. So, thank you. All right, so let’s just dive right in. What is a brain engineer? And did you coin that term? How did I know you had some learning differences and we had a Michael. He has biodiversity, he’s a guest on the show, so he introduced the audience to what that means to have, you know, difficulty learning within the system. So if you haven’t listened to that episode, you might want to catch on to that. But I know this whole springboard off of what Michael’s message was. But, yeah, share with us your story. And did you know you were neurodiverse, that you were going to be a brain engineer? Like, let us have a little insight into your journey.
ST Rappaport Guest0 2:17
Okay, there’s a lot of questions there. I’m going to pick and choose where I’m going to start from, though. Perfect, I love it. So I was struggling still with the reading in fifth grade so I could read, but it was a very big struggle for me and got tested for a bunch of different things. It wasn’t like dyslexic or something, but it was just having a really good time and I was going to a lot of tutors and not really making results and my parents weren’t very happy because it was lots of high bills. I was spending lots of time out of class, which I really liked, but like it wasn’t actually getting me what I needed to do.
02:56
So they brought in essentially a brain engineer, but the official term of it is a four year steam mediator. This is someone who is trained in the first method that works on how your brain is thinking. So essentially we did exercises that worked on how the brain was thinking instead of reading. So none of the typical reading tutor type things literally how your brain takes in processes and information and things like that and by simply doing that, my rating improved because how my brain the actual like functions right, like the foundations of how my brain was thinking was improving and so my reading improved. But because I wasn’t focused on the reading and I was focused on how my brain was thinking, every single other area of my life also improved, every single subject that got better at. Socially, I did better. My confidence went up like everything got better, and it was at that age that I knew I wanted to learn this, but I didn’t think that it would be my whole entire life.
Julie Hilsen Host 04:04
It was a calling. Oh my gosh. Well, that’s amazing because, well, I’m a speech pathologist by my masters and I worked with dyslexic children and usually what happened not exclusively, I had a bunch of different kinds of people I worked with but that was an area that I dove into and usually it was second grade. When I get the call, like this child’s reading but they’re not absorbing or they have trouble integrating all the different systems like long e and how when e and a are together, you know it’s a long sound and I would have to go and teach them how to rhyme and like the linguistic parts. But if in fifth grade was when you hit the wall, it meant you could read. It was something with your brain functioning. Did they do like an EKG to look at how your brain was firing at that point? Or how did you connect with and I want to hear again, because our connection was a little weird what was the specialist you connected to that was able to get to this?
ST Rappaport Guest0 5:06
Yeah, so it’s called the Feuerstein method. Feuerstein, okay, feuerstein F-E-U-E-R-stein it’s actually. It’s a method used in 40 countries around the world. For some reason in America it’s not very popular, but in other places around the world it is more and it’s used in a lot of various different ways.
05:30
With learning difficulties, so learning with people like the Tastig and Down syndrome. It’s also used with like to reduce or prevent Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, things like that. So anything having to do with the brain, really it really helps because it’s working on how your brain is thinking. So, to answer your question, I didn’t get any brain scans. I actually wish I would have. I think it would have been so cool. But I over the years since, like really like first, second grade, when they already noticed that I was struggling with reading, I was getting these like standardized tests, like IQ tests, like the test, things like that, and like everything seemed fine. That was like part of the challenge, but I still wasn’t reading properly. It was very having a hard time like reading comprehension. I was reading really slowly, things like that. So that’s when brought in these mediators, actually to these people trained in this method, to my town. They did some trainings in there and then I started to get those sessions.
Julie Hilsen Host0 6:33
It’s just like such a light bulb. I mean, so many people, like anybody, can benefit from learning how their brain works. It’s like you’ve made it your occupation. It’s amazing. So I mean, can you explain? Is it a series of tests and then people fall into a category, or is it like how do you define how your brain works Really?
ST RappaportGuest06:58
curious. Yeah, okay, so essentially we tend to think of thinking as one big thing, but thinking is actually made up of 28 thinking skills, called cognitive functions. Also, it’s like simply called thinking skills. Any thinking skills, everyone. It’s universal thing. We all use them, naturally, with 28 of them, some of them are going to be stronger than others, but those weaker ones are making it. Make are like getting in your way of doing what you want to do. So any single time you find yourself procrastinating, every single time there’s a task you don’t like, every single time there’s, your brain finds something challenging, it is because one of those thinking skills are weak and making it challenging for you to do a task. So as you improve that skill, it makes it much easier for you to do that task.
Julie Hilsen Host 07:52
It makes it seem so simple. Like you know, you do a physical inventory and your abs are weak, so you do core exercises.
08:01
Literally, that’s what it is Wow, yeah, so cool, it’s so cool and so so what did you? What was the first big difference that you noticed? And do you feel like magic or any synchronicities lined up Because your parents had gone through? You know lots of funds and you know resources, and you start when you’re lost in a system, when you can’t find answers, when it’s not like ABC do this. You know it gets a little stressful and you know I’m sure your parents are loving and they didn’t project the stress on you. But what was that moment where it was like boom, and do you feel like there was some kind of intervention, divine intervention or some kind of? Would you like to share a story of how it sort of came about for you?
ST Rappaport Guest 8:48
and your family. Yeah, so this actually happened when I was a little bit older. Like I mentioned earlier, I knew I wanted to learn this and just study it more for my own self, like though it’d be a very interesting thing to have and just like be cool. But it is a couple of years process that what you study and like work, like while you work with people, then you study, and during this year this process I took a Tony Robbins course called rapid planning method.
09:18
If anyone doesn’t know it’s method based on planning according to your motivation instead of your to-do list, and I thought that was like pretty cool. Like, instead of just like saying like, oh, I have to do a laundry today and answer emails, like you’re actually focusing on what’s important to you and your motives. So here’s the thing no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do what Tony was talking about. I did all the exercises, I tried to follow everything he said, but it just something in my brain just didn’t click. He spoke a lot about like planning six months, a year ahead, and I just couldn’t do that. I found myself at that time I consider myself someone who was super productive and like if something needed to happen like I got it done now. I couldn’t really think about like, okay, like in six months time, what’s going to be then? I’m going to do what needs to happen then, and so I just left it. I was like, okay, this sounds like a really cool program, but it’s not for me. And that was the end of it. And then, a few months later, I was taking another one of these trainings that I needed to do for this foresting method, and this training was on the specific thinking skill of categorizations.
10:29
Okay, now, categorizations is a very interesting thinking skill. It’s about taking things in a group and splitting them into groups. So let’s say, if I give you like a bag of marbles, like, I’m sure you could split them according to color. But it also works the other way If I have give you random items, can you put them in groups that go together? Now, on a basic level, if I give you like different animals, you could probably sort them to you animals.
10:54
But what happens once it becomes more, a lot more abstract and complex, and you’re starting to talk about efficiency and productivity, and that was where my brain really struggled and I really, really had a hard time.
11:06
So, if you give me a list of things to do, I could do them, but I won’t specifically do them in a good order. And so it was during this training that I like had this label moment that I realized that like, hey, adults need this too and we need to move our thinking skills. And that was when I really went all in on this, really working with adults and with entrepreneurs and helping them improve their thinking skills to really take it to the next level, to make their lives easier, because it was because of this that I literally saved over 10 hours every week. I tripled my business, like everything changed, like to ask, like you like, what that moment was like. It was then that I was like, oh, all you do is like make a few shifts and like everything works, because all of a sudden now my brain had a different thinking skill, or an improved thinking skill. I should say that it made it a lot easier for me to do all the things that I want to do.
Julie HilsenHost12:05
That is so amazing. That is such a I love it and I’m an advocate for knowing your why, having your value, like what when you wake up in the morning, what’s your purpose? And if you can say, you know genuinely, like, I’ll say my purpose is to have a joyful life, to feel connected and to serve at the highest good. And if I can keep those three things, even if I don’t do anything like post a video, a reel on Instagram, you know like, but if I’m showing up for my neighbor, I save a turtle that’s trying to cross the street, like, I’m living in my joy and I’m purposeful and no one can tell me what my joy is. And to me, that autonomy is really important and it makes me more efficient because everything that I’m doing has a purpose. I’m not doing busy work, so I I resonate with me so much to have categories. You can be like, all right, do, do, do, do, do. And you, you understand that that’s part of your important category. I love that.
13:07
I did want to talk to you, okay, so a lot of us have parents who are getting older and you mentioned Park Parkinsons disease and Alzheimer’s, and I would love for you to share what kind of you know they might not be appropriate for the whole program, but you know how would you help a person who’s, like I’m, just struggling to remember little things and and, like you said, help them with their confidence? Like, do you, have you seen any patterns on that population? And we don’t want to group everybody, but I mean just give a little insight as to, you know, an older brain, how this could help them.
ST RappaportGuest13:43
Yeah, so we do do very, very specific exercises when, like with clients, that are also designed for people in this category. But essentially, the point is you want to use your brain in new, challenging ways. What happens is often, and people at this stage or even earlier, we start falling into the things that we love to do and we do the same types of things over and over again, which is good because, like, we’re strengthening the same neural connections over and over again, but we’re not developing new ones and things that will, that aren’t used and like we lose them. So if you can make simple shifts to make, give a new challenge to your brain, you are going to do like wonders on a whole new level. So, for example, if you have a parent who, like, loves crossword puzzles, right, instead of doing just another crossword puzzle anymore, what about introducing to them like Sudoku or Binocs or like another type of brain challenge that they’re not used to doing?
14:51
Now, I know, I know, like already some of you are thinking about like the pushback, but they’re like, no, but they like to do this and they’re like God, I don’t know how to do this, and they already, like fall into the phase of like I’m too old to learn or things like that. So it is going to take patience and it is you don’t want to like force them into doing something that they don’t want to do, because afterwards they’re not going to like. I could talk to you about mediation if you want, like how we help someone get there, but the point is essentially you want to approach the situation in new and challenging, so take them to new places If you, instead of going to the same park and the same walk, they usually go to go to somewhere new and challenging for that brain.
Julie Hilsen Host 15:31
That makes sense. I love that. And then what do you have, like a website, or how do you connect with your, with your people, and it’s so amazing what you’re doing and you can tell how it changes someone’s life to just to be aware that there’s 28 different cognitive functions. I mean, just think about that. That’s like, because we do, we get stuck in our habits. So how do you, how do you connect? And and where do you start? Is it like a battery of questions or so curious.
ST Rappaport Guest 16:04
Yeah, so actually I have a free assessment. Um, you all could take. It goes through the 28 thinking skills. I’m at lifepicksuniversitycom forward slash brain, so it’s life picks P I X university dot com forward slash brain and essentially goes through the 20 thinking skills and you could mark off and see where you are out with each one of the thinking skills. Now, if you take the assessment, you’re going to notice something interesting. There’s no such thing as like right or wrong with each one of the questions. They’re all on a scale of one through five, because there’s no such a thing as being perfect at thinking skill. You can always be improving on all of them. But what happens is once you finish taking this assessment take seven, 10 minutes you afterwards can get, get very clear and see where you are at which each one of these thinking skills and then can see what you need to improve, which ones are weak, which one are strong, how you can leverage your strong ones to improve your weaker ones, and things like that.
Julie Hilsen Host 17:05
And it’s so amazing that you know if you can clarify how you’re thinking, how it makes your relationships better, how it makes you more efficient at work and that’s why I wanted to have you on Life of Love, because it’s like if you can maximize your brain function and use this wonderful computer we have and there’s studies that say we only use 4% of our brain. I’ve read that and like if we can access more, that it just makes us show up better and it changes the way we interact with our world. And then it makes you more loving, because you understand other people’s differences. And do you find yourself like in public doing a little mini assessment and saying, oh okay, I just need to approach this person with compassion because this might be their weakness Like, do you have a story about? Sometime you’ve used your superpower?
ST Rappaport Guest 17:55
That is a very good point of what you said. I don’t like to just go assess people. If somebody wants to be assessed, then, like I, could help them figure out what the thinking skill is getting in their way of their challenge and, let’s say, task-support, procrastinating on or something like that. But what happens is I’m a massive advocate for everyone to just understand the thinking skills and understand the concept of thinking skills, just like we have, thank God, come really far with, like mental health and trauma and it’s like now words. Everyone knows what we’re talking about and so, like you, can be more understanding to someone who has had trauma and understand why they’re behaving that way. Doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps you be able to understand them and you can approach them in a different way. The same thing, when you understand thinking skills and you understand that people aren’t bad people.
18:45
People are behaving in that way either because of some emotional thing that happened in the past or because of a thinking skill that is causing them to behave in that way, and sometimes it’s both.
19:01
So when you can look at people, every time someone does something that would make me mad or like I’m like, why are they doing this type of thing I remind myself. There is this thinking skill that is making it challenging for them. Sometimes I just have that, I just like okay, it’s a thinking skill, because sometimes I’ll really want to understand what that thinking skill is. So that way I know how to talk to them in a way that their brain understands. And you don’t have to be like an expert in the thinking skills in order to do this, but you simply being aware and like having it on top of mind that your brain thinks different than other people and we all have different strong, weak thinking skills. You can simply just like pick up how is this person talking and how can you talk to them so that your brain understands it, based on their strong, weak thinking skills.
Julie Hilsen Host 19:50
I love that. So you take inventory and you try to match at their level what they’re doing. Yeah, the so compassion, is so accepting and it’s divinity, that’s feminine divinity right there. I love it. And then, like, have you ever been dating someone where you’re like, could you improve this cognitive function? It is.
ST Rappaport Guest 20:19
It is like, okay, you do have this weak cognitive function or something like that, but to me, I’m a very Like, I really want to see a person growing and so, like we all have a cognitive function you talk to me, I also have a cognitive function. I’ve made massive improvements but I still have a long way to go and it’s all day I die. I will be working on them and be getting better at them. And so, as long as we have a real growth mindset have you ever read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So, as long as we have that growth mindset and like want to be learning, and it’s okay if we make mistakes, but we’re on this process of continuing to grow, then it’s alright, it’s okay, you’re human.
Julie Hilsen Host 21:02
Yeah, that major thing that you don’t freak out when your child messes up. You don’t, you know it’s okay, you’re accepting that unconditional love and you guide and you use that self-compassion to help you to nurture your own mind. It’s huge. I recently realized that I, after a certain time in the day, I sort of lose my focus. So if I, if I take notes, like I scribble stuff, but it keeps me focused and it helps me know where I want to go next and it’s really made a big difference. But it takes me being aware that my mind is wandering. And you know it’s not that I’m not interested, but I know that’s one of my cognitive like my sustained attention, and I get a little distracted. And it could be because I’ve called in my guides and I’m asking for their input and they might be all trying to talk to me at the same time. It’s probably partly my fault, but I thank them for helping me. But I do have to keep my notes and so I can relate to what you’re saying.
ST Rappaport Guest 22:06
I just want to add one thing about what you’re saying on this self-compassion. I think a lot of times we get really upset about ourselves for making a mistake right, like our kids or our friends, but also at ourselves are like, oh, why do we do that? I’m so stupid for doing that. That was so dumb of me, things like that and that so that’s for being really negative talk and doesn’t do anyone good. Like you’re literally pushing your brain in not good directions. Like the words you use have a massive effect on your growth. So, speaking about parents who are older, the words that you use to talk to them have a big effect, but essentially what?
22:41
I like to do is, every time I make a mistake is I like to ask myself which thinking skill did I not use that caused this mistake? So in this way, instead of just like blaming myself, like oh, and like talking down on myself, I can learn from this situation. So that way, next time I’m more weird to use that thinking skill so you could do the same thing for yourself, even if you’re not completely familiar with the assessment, with the thinking skills if you have this, it’s me, you’ll have all of them. But even just like asking yourself like what, what, what did I miss out? Or what, what, what could have been done better Again, not in a judgmental way, in a way of trying to understand and to grow from, so that way you can can use it as an opportunity to really grow.
Julie Hilsen Host 23:26
Yeah, that’s so of the light, and it’s so in resonance with my you know my mantra every day is a chance to live the life of your dream, and that means using your free will to make different choices that bring you to the earth that you want. And I was just before we got on, I was listening to this channeled meditation. It was just beautiful about the new earth and the first step is to change your thinking to positivity. And then you come on and say this and so it’s just, you keep getting these breadcrumbs, you keep getting reassurances that what you think those frequencies, if you can keep, if you can keep your mind and your thoughts on the higher frequencies I mean just pick up David Hawkins scale of emotions so enlightening because you don’t realize when you judge you’re at a lower. Any word that has to do a shame as a low vibration and your body picks up on it. So it’s really important for us to have this awareness If we want to change our earth, our world. We want more peace, we want more love.
24:28
So, thank you so much for sharing this.
ST Rappaport Guest 24:31
Yeah, if you don’t mind, just add one quick thing to make it a little bit easier for people to change is think of it like this your brain thinks in pictures and doesn’t have a picture for the word no. So if you are holding a cup of coffee and say like don’t spill, don’t spill, don’t spill, your brain doesn’t have a picture for that Don’t. It only has a picture for spilled. So what happens is spilled coffee. Daddy, say coffee, stay in the cup. Your coffee will stay in the cup. So it’s the positive version. So everything that you want to tell yourself, you want to tell yourself in the positive. So that way it will actually happen.
Julie Hilsen Host 25:08
Yes, it’s so powerful. It’s so powerful and it reminds me of you know, when you’re riding a bike and you get to the side of the road, where it’s going to be gravel or the concrete, and you look down and you’re like, oh, don’t fall, don’t fall, you always fall, you always go.
ST Rappaport Guest 25:22
Yup, exactly, exactly. We say like stay straight or right, like stay on the bike, then that’s Just don’t look down.
Julie Hilsen Host 25:31
Just stay on the road and once you look at that curve, you’re going to go down the curve.
ST Rappaport Guest 25:35
You’ve got to stay.
Julie Hilsen Host 25:37
Yup, I love that and you know, I knew that. I knew that whole thing through my studies and I always you know it’s like when I was raising my boys I knew that they tuned into the last word you said. So you better make sure that last word was a positive or what you wanted them to do, instead of don’t.
ST Rappaport Guest 25:57
Oh yeah, with kids it’s so important, like, instead of telling them not to do what, yes, to do yeah, that’s a really big one.
Julie Hilsen Host 26:03
Yes to do so those parents. It’s a superpower. If you can tap into your kids superpower, then you can get more done. And you know, I’ll tell my kids ways I used to manipulate their behavior without them knowing. Now and they’re like you’re so conniving, it’s so fun, Like no. I would just, I would just tell you what a good job you did and catch you doing what I wanted. I would never tell you, don’t do something. I just say look at you, You’re so amazing when you pick up all your clothes off the floor. You are, You’re so strong, have you?
ST RappaportGuest26:41
ever heard of the nurture hard approach method.
Julie Hilsen Host 26:45
Oh, is that the one? The blessings of the skin knee. Is that in the same realm?
ST RappaportGuest26:49
I don’t know so, but it’s essentially like what you’re saying. It’s like no negative focus and just giving like that positive focus and like giving those compliments on exactly what you’re saying, unlike what you do want them to do. It’s very, it’s a very, it’s a wonderful method. Anyone who has kids, especially if you have challenging kids it’s amazing because it doesn’t only work on like just like the typical compliments. They have a very specific formula on how to develop compliments that like build the inner wealth. I don’t know if I’m going to go into it it’s a completely different topic but the nurture hard approach essentially for your parents.
Julie Hilsen Host 27:33
It’s so important, you know, it’s just so important to have that insight and like, when they fall, to not be like, oh, you’re injured. You can be like, oh, that looked like it hurt, that looked like it hurt you on some ice, like, and you what you’re talking about? Go to resource, go to creativity. If you miss your mark, it’s not that you’re a victim and you’re weak. You’re like well, let me go to my toolbox and see which one I missed. It’s a totally different, it’s a totally different way of being present and it’s it’s more fun to be around because it’s as hope.
28:05
Yeah, so if you’re, if you’re a parent, you’re a grandparent. I mean, grandparents can really influence their children and you have more time to do things like this. But that nurture, that nurture parenting. I love that. I love that. I think that’s a great, great wormhole to go down and it can change the world. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh. This has been such a delight. I appreciate you taking the time and staying up really late to be on this call with me, and I’m going to share your website in the show notes and so people can can look at what you have to share. I mean, this is it’s a gold, it’s a gold mine and it’s it’s a treasure chest. So I know that there’s 48 things that not 48, 28, sorry, the 28 things that you can look at and learn more about yourself and, you know, love yourself more, because you’re a divine one of a kind.
ST Rappaport Guest 29:03
Oh, thank you so much, Julie, for having me. This was so much fun.
Julie Hilsen Host 29:07
It was fun. I really appreciate your message and it’s empowering, so it’s been a delight.
