Discovering Creativity Through Courage and Inspiration

Julie Hilsen: 0:39

Life of love, and may you find the courage and inspiration to find what it means to you. Just today is a really, really fun day for me because I have Nancy Dillingham on my show and she has been a rock star for living her creative dream. You know, sometimes well we do. We live in a world of relativity, right, so to explore one thing, sometimes we have to feel the other. So this is a really fun situation where Nancy has worked in corporate business. She’s worked filling the boxes in accounting, like putting numbers in boxes. That was her field, and she’s going to share how she just found the relativity in her life and it’s just such a fun topic and I’m really happy to share her story.

Julie Hilsen: 1:28

So I hope everyone can stay till the end and if you have a creative bug, or even if you think you’re not creative at all, this is a really great episode for you to tune into and we’re gonna have a lot of great references and resources to get inspiration. So thank you, listeners, for being here with Nancy and I. We really appreciate your ears and your thoughts and we’re holding you, we’re making space for this and holding you in your life of love. So I hope you feel our care and our. This is a great community we have at Life of Love already. So welcome, nancy, to the show. We’re so honored to have you.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 2:04

Oh, thank you. I love your show. It’s got so much positive energy. I’m so excited to be part of that.

Julie Hilsen: 2:10

Like attracts, like I guess it’s really fun. So, nancy, I mentioned that you worked in accounting and you were you know, you really weren’t in a creative realm, and so I would love for you to share how you had the courage to be creative, to own your creativity, because I know a lot of people say, oh, I’m not creative, or some teacher told them that they weren’t creative because they think it’s you’re creative in the art classroom, like if you got a bad grade in art, you all of a sudden you think you’re not creative and so I’d love to blow that paradigm away or explore that. And yeah, so you were telling me pre-show before we recorded some of your story and I’d love for you to share how you ignited.

Embracing Creativity Through Self-Discovery

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 2:52

Ah, thanks, I just I get overly excited about this because I am one of those people who did not think I had a creative bone in my body. My sister and my dad were always very creative. They could draw anything they touched, they could do. And I would touch the same thing and it wouldn’t look anything like it and it just didn’t ignite anything in me. It didn’t do anything for me. So I just made the assumption and you know what they say about making assumptions but you shouldn’t do that but the mindset really gets. It gets in your own head that you aren’t something or you can’t do something and that’s our own restrictions for ourselves and that’s our own restrictions for ourselves. That is not what the universe meant for us and it’s not what the world was designed to be like. And it took me a really long time to figure that out. It really came down to my mom, and my dad moved out from Massachusetts to California to be closer to me so I could help them in their later years. And I was thrilled because I haven’t spent a lot of time with them as an adult and I’ve had a blast.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 4:05

But they’re an assisted living facility and they’re like a docked cruise ship. They have so many activities. They go on excursions, they have food and entertainment. They go on excursions, they have food and entertainment, housekeeping, and so one of the activities was a fused glass class, and my mom loved it. Well, I’d never heard of fused glass, and for my mom to be so excited about something, I was really kind of curious. So I looked up and there was a studio not too far away and it took me a while.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 4:39

I mean that mindset. It took me a while to get through that. And what did it for me was I realized that mom doesn’t care if I’m good at fused glass or not. It’s the fact that I want to do it with her that would make her excited and it would make me thrilled to have something special to do with her, and that’s what motivated me to go try it Now. Did I just jump up out of my chair and go running? No, I had that. What am I doing? I’m going to fail at this too, but in my heart I knew this was so. I had something else to do with my mom and I would have this treasure of something memory-wise that I would always be able to keep, and that was a bigger force than my mindset and I refer to my mindset also as my ego. You know it took me a long time to understand that kind of combo was there. So I went to the class and I enjoyed it. It was something totally different than I’d ever tried.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 5:50

I had to learn what fused glass is, and it’s basically taking glass, pieces of glass that are able to go up to certain temperatures, and you put them together on a base piece, all in a nice comfortable environment and this is my studio I’m in for those people that are on Zoom or YouTube and it then goes into a kiln similar to a ceramics kiln, but the heating elements are a little different a ceramics kiln, but the heating elements are a little different. And it goes to 14, 1500 degrees. It comes out smooth and shiny and any little flaws in cutting are kind of wiped away, because the glass at that temperature kind of becomes a really thick honey and it fuses the glass together and so things I didn’t think I did well in my cutting. You would never have been able to see it, and so it’s like, wow, this is the platform for me. I found something that was great for me.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 6:46

Now is it for everybody? No, of course not. There is no one thing for everybody. It helped me open my eyes to just how important to finding a creative outlet is. What a change in my mindset.

Julie Hilsen: 7:09

What a change in my mood. I needed a creative outlet and I didn’t know it. And I think that yeah, you feel so one-dimensional if you’re simply putting it input to get output, you know, and it’s more like living like a robot. It’s a Groundhog Day feeling. It’s that you’ll have a sparkle and that’s what I always try to tell people. You know, like question, question. If you’re not feeling, if you feel dull, if you’re feeling lifeless, if it’s hard to get out of bed, there’s your sign. That’s when you start to question who told you you can’t? What brings you joy? I was listening to a Louise Hayes like throwback video and I have in my book to look in the mirror and say I love you and she had. She was talking about that. You know it’s just like who said that we couldn’t tell ourselves that we love ourselves? You know this, this unconditional, and what brings you joy today? Why is that so self-indulgent? To be happy.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 8:06

Why do we all love pets so much? Because the pets give us unconditional love, but yet we can’t give it to ourselves. What’s wrong with that picture?

Transforming Lives Through Creativity

Julie Hilsen: 8:16

And shake that paradigm, because you don’t have to subscribe to that. Just cancel that subscription.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 8:23

Cancel, delete, exactly. And it’s so funny because so much of its mindset of something that somebody told us once or something that we read because they, whoever they are I hate that word now they said, they told, they say whatever. So my mantra now is, if they say something that I’m going to do the opposite, I’m going to do a variation, because I don’t believe them. So I’m sure it can be done now. So I kind of have a new mantra Just go for it. And that’s what I ended up doing. My corporate career was about 35 years in operations, accounting, sales, administrative, different types of levels and different types of companies, but a lot of the last several years was all in technology, so kind of not an area that’s very creative.

Julie Hilsen: 9:17

Not very hands-on, right, it’s very on the screen, yeah.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 9:21

Exactly, and so I was good at it and I learned I have a superpower of helping problem solve, which is great. But I didn’t have that outlet that I needed all along. And when it came to time that my husband decided it was time to sell the company I had gone to work for him and he had a technology company and he decided it was time to retire I wasn’t ready to do that yet. I knew there was something else out there for me. And when I and in this timeframe is when I decided also to go try this fused glass class it kind of all accumulated at the same time. It was like someone’s trying to tell me something, and when something happens more than once and crosses your path, there’s a reason for that. When you start hearing the same type of things being said to you, there’s a reason for that. I had to have a lot of things said to me many times before I caught on to that.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 10:22

But you know what? It’s so true, and I had found they opened a new studio much closer to my home. It was a branch of the one that I had originally gone to and I fell in love with this place, everything about it. It was like, all of a sudden, the sky opened up and my creativity just started flowing and flowing, and my excitement, enthusiasm, my energy levels, everything improved for me, levels, everything improved for me. And it just so happened that the person who had opened this branch decided she didn’t want to keep it open. And I laugh. I said she had a good crystal ball because she left I forgot how many months before COVID. But I found out the space was going to be available, and so I know how to run a business. Guess what? I was more a business person than an artist. And what did I do?

Julie Hilsen: 11:24

I was thinking you had the perfect melding of you know your background helped you. You weren’t a starving artist. You’re going to be a prolific. You know smart, spend in the ways that and organize your books. I think that’s just so fantastic and it just goes to show you didn’t waste that time. It was just part of your story. It was part of your platform, exactly.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 11:45

There’s no mistakes, absolutely. It all led me to this and I have some great friends in the area who are wonderful artists, and my ego said I don’t have to know it all, I don’t have to be the best at it. Just because I’m opening the studio doesn’t mean I have to be the best example. I was happy to be the one who knew how to run a business and have other people help me grow the business.

Julie Hilsen: 12:14

And then you have this community around you.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 12:16

Yes, I could not have imagined when I was dreaming about doing this that this community would have been formed and been so special. And I did open five weeks before COVID hit. And during COVID, instead of all of the you know what did I get myself into all of the mindset, all the things that people wanted to say to me that was a stupid thing. Just to open just before COVID it’s not exactly like. I knew it was going to be COVID, which is, again, they say stupid things. So I said you know what? This is a chance for me.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 12:53

All my life I was a single parent. Most of my life not all of it, but most of my life I’ve been a single parent and I always wished I had more time. And I’ve just been gifted more time and I looked at it from that perspective and I came in and I played in glass and I tried new things and I improved my skills. I created skills I didn’t know I had yet or were going to have. I couldn’t forecast it for it and as we were allowed to start opening up in California, I was able to open the studio and I have a lot of different tables. I can separate people. They all had their own tools, and this became a mental health sanctuary as well, because people could get away from everything that they were hearing about COVID and do something that was so creative, passionate, and you were surrounded by other like-minded people and no one judged you.

Julie Hilsen: 13:55

The glass didn’t judge you and you could just be yourself and it just and it still is that special a place pieces together and then you have your intention, you created space for it and then you put it in and you let the fire and it’s very, it’s a very detoxing, cleansing idea that you’re. You’re burning away what it was and creating something new. And and isn’t that a wonderful way to look at your life like release what doesn’t serve you, you know, go, burn it off, go, run, go, dance, go. You know it’s it’s. You can alchemize anything into something new and beautiful with the right mindset, and I love how you say that your ego, your mindset, and you get to choose your mindset. You know your, your inner state, reflects everything outside. So that’s your inner alchemy, that’s your powerhouse, that’s where you can live in your joy. So it’s just so wonderful.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 15:08

It’s such a beautiful symbol metaphor I love being in that, and you know, I know that it can be there for other people too. You just have to give yourself a chance. You know whether? Like?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 15:21

I talked to someone the other day and he told me he used to love to write but now he’s just too busy, and I asked a simple question Do you have 15 minutes a week that you could write? And he looked at me and goes of course I do, I can find 15 minutes. I said then why don’t you? And he had to stop, and he realized that he was stopping himself from doing it. It wasn’t the, you know, the world around him was making it, so he couldn’t do it. He just didn’t set forth the mindset that he wanted to do it enough to find the 15 minutes, and so I told him he needed to send me something cute that he writes. It could be two sentences, I don’t care and he did. It was really really very sweet, and to know that you can make a difference in someone’s life, even if it’s just a little bit, is one of the biggest rewards. I never realized how impactful that is.

Defining Boundaries and Building Community

Julie Hilsen: 16:22

Well, yeah, and you think about it like you being happy, doing something you like, you show up. You show up to the grocery store in a good mood versus someone. Who’s just a different experience when you enter any situation in a good mood and then everyone around you benefits from that and you want people want to be around you and help you and all of a sudden you get, you get, you know, this assistance that you don’t have to ask for. You know, and the victims don’t usually get helped unless you call the EMS. Right, like it’s not, if it’s not a physical, you’re bleeding all over the sidewalk. People aren’t usually going to help you.

Julie Hilsen: 17:03

But if you’re coming with joy and attracting and and you know it’s not to be little Mary, sunshine or Pollyanna, it’s just like I’m cool. I’m cool and I see you and you know this is it’s a different way to show up and it’s catchy. Like you said it’s. It’s like something people are like. Well, what are you doing? And I’m following my passion for 15 minutes a day. It’s great and it’s like what you know. You can change your outlook by doing something that makes you happy for 15 minutes. Like what?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 17:34

Exactly, and it’s funny because I do find people come and ask me directions or ask me if I know where something is. I’ll be in a fairly. There aren’t a lot of places in Southern California that you’re by yourself, but if I’m in a store and I always try to help a person because I don’t mind if it takes me a few minutes out of my day to help somebody else you know it’s not. I don’t view it as oh my God, why are they bothering me? I got them in a hurry. No, I want to give some of my joy and I really am this happy all the time. I mean, people go. Are you just like this because you know you’re being recorded? No, this really is who I am Did you feel?

Julie Hilsen: 18:13

I’m curious did you feel a softening of your heart when you started connecting to your creativity? And if you did, can you explain, like how that might have happened?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 18:31

Because I do get a sense that you softened your heart Absolutely, and it’s one of those things. I didn’t even realize that it happened or that it was happening. But I was in a lot of positions where I had a tendency of taking on more workload because I wanted to make it easier for other people so they could leave earlier or they could have a little chance to breathe. I didn’t give myself that chance and when I started to realize that being joyful just a few minutes a day can change your whole day, and all of a sudden I was getting joy out of helping the other person versus, oh my God, what do you need now? You need another, you know? Oh, we’re out of toilet paper again. You know you couldn’t have filled it yourself. Come on, you know it’s that kind of thing.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 19:11

The whole mindset changed. Sure, I’ll go take care of it, whatever it was. The other person just would like look at me because I was happy to do it. And they were surprised and it’s like people started asking me why do you mind doing this? And I said why shouldn’t I? Where is it written that they say that I shouldn’t be happy doing whatever it is that somebody’s asking me to do, but I’ve also learned boundaries, so I’ve also learned that it’s very easy to take on too much and it’s okay to say you know, I’m sorry, I don’t have the time right now, and people don’t hate you for that, people don’t get mad at you for that. When you say it with passion versus an attitude, the tone sets the whole thing, and it’s truly amazing when you’re speaking from your heart instead of speaking from your head, and that really changed a lot for me.

Julie Hilsen: 20:12

Yeah, I agree. I mean, I used to think that I had to produce to be valued, like my output equaled my value. My ability to please somebody else and make them happy made me a good. That’s a way to burn out. That’s not true.

Julie Hilsen: 20:29

That wasn’t living to my sole purpose, but it’s an easy paradigm to follow because you don’t really have to think, you don’t have to be creative about the way you live, because you’re just showing up for everyone else and it works until it doesn’t and you’re like boom, like what? What is going on? I don’t, I don’t even know. I haven’t even made a choice for myself in 10 years. Like you know, being a parent is especially cause. You just want, you want everyone to be happy and thrive, and and you don’t realize that the happiness comes through you being authentic and saying, yeah, this, I’m sorry, but I, I need to put a boundary up, because this isn’t okay, because if you’re just the okay person, everything’s great. Then everyone runs over you and they have no standards either. So it’s just, it’s a recipe for for chaos.

Julie Hilsen: 21:32

And so, yeah, I can encourage the audience to explore if they’re just reflectively living or if they’re really asking what does this mean to me and from my heart, do I want to do this? Does this serve me? Does it serve my? My values Like what are your values? And it’s up to you to decide. You to decide. It’s a really. It takes a lot of soul searching, but when you make a decision to do or not do something, you have a solid ground in your heart and you can support that and know that your intention is for the highest good, even if it isn’t what that person wants you to do or how they think you should show up. And it’s really freeing, because you don’t realize how accepting people are until you give them a chance to be accepting of you.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 22:23

That was a chance. That is exactly the right phrase to say. That is such a golden nugget. I hope everyone heard that because it is so true.

Julie Hilsen: 22:35

You give them a chance. And you know, I realized in my life I underestimated how the people around me could show up because I was overdoing, yeah. So this is great learning.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 22:50

Absolutely the community that I’ve formed here have been. I mean, they continue to amaze me, and I don’t know why, because they’re all phenomenal people to start off with, but I was teaching a class and someone walked in and needed some help. One of them just got up and just helped as if they were an employee, and it didn’t faze them. They didn’t look at me like you’re going to make me do this. There was none of that. It was just natural. And that’s what we formed is just this camaraderie of all of us wanting to do the best we can for each other.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 23:22

And there’s no titles, there’s no roles. We all know our role. It’s not obvious, it’s not defined to a point where we have to have those walls that says, oh, I can’t do that, I don’t have the right title. Being away from all of that, being away from that corporate part of life is phenomenal.

Julie Hilsen: 23:44

So your studio is called the Glass Arts Collective Is that the name of it?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 23:48

And that’s your website too right.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 23:50

Correct, and so we have. If you want to take a class, all the registration for the classes are online, the descriptions and everything else. They all are physically here in Westlake Village, california, but there are Fuse Glass studios around the world, and if you’re really interested in Fuse Glass, I highly recommend looking one up and trying it yourself. But check out our gift shop. It is also on the web at Glass Arts Collective. But check out our gift shop. It is also on the web at Glass Arts Collective and we have over 700 pieces of art because my community all puts it in as well. So my community is made up of artists associated with the studio, and so they’re all local artists who have their passion that they put into their art. It’s all one of a kind. We don’t do mass production. It’s all made with love and we ship throughout the United States. Now it’s a guild.

Julie Hilsen: 24:43

You’ve created a guild.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 24:51

Yeah, and it’s one of those things where sometimes I want to just pinch myself, because when I first started I didn’t necessarily see the biggest picture because I didn’t know what it was capable of being, but I also didn’t put any walls around it either, saying this is all it could be. So, as things have come up, I change things, I improve things, I make it better. Somebody needs more help with something in one area. Well, how can we do that? Oh, look, more people needed that same help. This is great, and so it’s I had.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 25:18

I was able to work within the corporate world and finding ways to have departments to work better together or to improve processes or communications between groups. So I, like I’ve said my, my superpower was really helping to be a problem solver and it really. Everything we said before has all benefited myself to get to this point, and so sometimes I have to look at one side of being okay. I have to go fix the machinery in the back, it’s time for a tune-up, and I just go do it. I read the directions and if I know I can’t do it because of whatever reason, then I ask for help, directions, and if I know I can’t do it because of whatever reason that I asked for help. It’s okay to ask for help.

Julie Hilsen: 26:02

I don’t have to do it all. Well, congratulations, it’s a really, really great story and I wish you so much success. I was wondering. Well, I’ve noticed that people are interested in living with more how do I want to say it like decorative or just more, more opulence, or, you know, treating themselves with something special and, and it’s really fun, it’s. It’s like buying gifts. Is you want to? You want something one of a kind, more if you’re.

Creating Lasting Memories Through Art

Julie Hilsen: 26:36

I know that I sort of like when I’m buying, like an anniversary present or, you know, a birthday present for my mom, or I want something like designed, like a hand designed jewelry. I don’t want to just pick something up at the department store, like I go in there I’m like, ah, it’s just, everything smells the same, everything is just like you know her friend could have the same thing, you know whatever. But I just love the idea that we’re going away from buying stuff off a shelf and we’re going to more artisan things. Have you explored anything with stained glass or replacing small windows in your house with a fused glass option? Is the glass strong enough for that or is it more decorative? Are there any functional ways to use this kind of art?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 27:25

My goodness, you just opened up a whole conversation on that. I love it. Yes, so we actually do stained glass here as well, but fused glass is actually stronger than stained glass and has more capabilities in that respect. But we make platters and bowls and trays and you can make Someone actually paid for her her Christmas present to herself, had her son make her a set of dishes for the their everyday dishes and one of the things that’s. I mean we do jewelry, we do wall art, we do table art, we do office art and we do commission work too. So I mean it’s unbelievable how much we can actually do and we’re always pushing the envelope to have more fun with it.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 28:10

But my favorite thing that happens in here is when someone comes and buys a gift, whether it’s for an anniversary gift or birthday. We just had someone come in to buy a retirement gift and she said you know, I know she’s going to love this because she loves to entertain, and so she goes. So what’s the story behind it? So I knew the story behind the platter that was purchased and I shared it and she came in a couple of days later because they’d had the party for the woman and she goes. My God, we picked the right colors. And she said she’s got some friends coming over, she can’t wait to share it. Had to tell them the story behind the right colors. And she said she’s got some friends coming over, she can’t wait to share it and to tell them the story behind the platter.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 28:50

And it’s one of those things that becomes a keepsake. It becomes something that when you pull it out whether it’s just for two friends having a cup of coffee together or tea in my case, again, I don’t fit the mold all the time and just having something special, and they go oh my gosh, where did you get this? And it’s like you know I would love something like this. Well, sorry, it’s one of a kind. What do you mean? It’s one of a kind you know where did you get it? And people are so surprised when they find my studio and they’re like there’s nothing like this around here that well I shouldn’t say nothing. But there’s very few places.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 29:24

And when you get to meet the artist that made it, because the artists are in here a lot and they love meeting the person who bought their art. So we actually have purposely coordinate people to come in at the same time so they can meet. So if it was a gift, the person who received the gift can come in and meet the artist. And that’s just again where we sort of turned the tables and said how do we improve this even more? And it just keeps happening. We do team building sessions. We’ve had a bridal shower. The bride was meeting the groom’s side of the family and she was really nervous and shy. So they figured they’d find an activity where everybody could be together. And yet she didn’t feel like she had the spotlight on her every moment. And they had such a wonderful time and she was in tears because it was so warm and a great way to meet everyone.

Embracing Self-Love and Growth

Julie Hilsen: 30:19

And what a great keepsake if everyone designed a little like I’m thinking of, like a mosaic, and create like a cool glass display to say this is when our families first met and this is everyone’s piece together and melding of the family and the creativeness. It’s just gooey, it’s just full of love. I mean, who would cherish something like that?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 30:44

And I could. I mean, 10 years ago this would never have even occurred to me. And so it’s like this is just way too much fun and I love hearing the stories, I love the passion behind all of it and you just listen and the studio just exudes energy, the color of the art, the energy of everyone that comes in, the energy of while people are here. It’s like you can’t be in a bad mood in here.

Julie Hilsen: 31:11

It’s just impossible. Light and color and your intention and yeah, it’s just. I’m so happy that that’s a place that people can go. I know when my husband’s grandmother she was living, she moved here to be closer to like your parents, to be closer to her son and daughter-in-law, you know, after her husband she was a widow at that time and we used to love to take her to the paint studios and she’d show off her painting skills and we’d all be like, yeah, ours are not so nice because we were trying to follow along with a paint by number lady, do this and do that. But it was. It’s just a fun thing to just create and use your hands. But, like you said, it doesn’t have to be art. It can, you know, it can be writing, it can be movement, whatever.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 32:03

Whatever is your release is something and it really I mean it. Just it’s amazing how physically you feel better, mentally and physically you can feel better, finding that outlet. And again, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. And, by the way, we don’t do anything by numbers. It’s all teach the techniques and then you do it the way you want to do it. Um, so it’s. It’s even more fun in that respect, um, because you’re not trying to follow anyone else. Yeah, when there’s a team that comes in together, they learn so much about each other because of the projects they make. So sometimes someone on the team will look and go yep, you’re really an organized person. Look how organized all your pieces are. Or, yeah, you’re pretty all over the place. Yep, that’s you. That type of thing.

Julie Hilsen: 32:53

That’s you at work yeah.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 32:56

And they just laugh and they have such a good time and it’s like they always tell me what a wonderful time they’ve had and I’ve gotten some wonderful reviews and it’s just something you can’t even fully explain how it makes you feel.

Julie Hilsen: 33:11

And then, how did you get over the doubt when you know you said you were, you were committed because you wanted to spend time with your mom and it was something she really liked doing? But what advice would you give? I know you’re gonna to say it’s worth it, but like, you have this doubt, like who am I to? You know, draw a picture of I don’t know, whatever, whatever you like to do, like how do you get over that doubt that it wouldn’t be good enough or that it’s, you know, a waste of time? How did you deal with the doubt, or that it’s a waste of time? How did you?

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 33:47

deal with the doubt. Well, for me, in this particular case, it really was. Mom doesn’t care, that was in the back of my head. I’m doing this from my heart, for the right reasons, okay, and it doesn’t matter what it looks like, gotcha, and that was my guiding light, but the biggest part of it was because it was coming from my heart, and when I started realizing how much of it was mindset and how much it was my self-talk that was keeping me from wanting to do things like this, I was ashamed of myself because it took me so long to get here. And then I smacked myself for that, saying so what, you’re here now. I was like, forgive yourself, I’m not going to beat myself up because I waited so long, cause people go. You always an artist. I’m like, nope, I didn’t. I didn’t get into being an artist until I was in my sixties.

Julie Hilsen: 34:46

That’s so cool. That’s so cool, it’s so cool. So it’s one of those things where you stop judging and you just try and show up from your you know, if you can’t find your heart, if you don’t know what your heart wants, just know that you’re worthy to try.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 35:05

Yes, that is so true. You, you know creativity, and it’s funny because I’ll say I’m an artist and someone will go I’m not an artist, I’m just creative. What’s the difference? And I don’t think there should be a difference. Whatever label you want to make it. I used to laugh that I should have a hat that has all these different labels for my corporate jobs, because I did so many different things and it doesn’t really matter what label you give it.

Julie Hilsen: 35:34

I’m doing it because I’m doing it, yeah, and so many times labels put you in a box again. Yes, and every day you should have the chance to live the life that you want to live. Not live the life that you want to live. Not live the label that you’ve been placed upon yourself or someone else’s placed upon you. That’s not freedom.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 35:57

Freedom is choosing how you want to show up and what best serves you, and letting go what doesn’t Exactly. And it’s funny, because just because somebody else might put a label on you doesn’t mean you have to accept it. And that was hard for me to learn too. I mean, I’ve been really slow at learning a lot of things, I you know, and I just want everyone to be accepting of that too. I’m not beating myself up because I took a long time to get here at all. Everything that I’ve done in my career, in my life, I’m proud of, and just because I didn’t get to this point that brings me so much joy doesn’t mean that everything else I did was bad or wrong or misplaced. You know what. It doesn’t matter. It is all happens when it’s supposed to.

Julie Hilsen: 36:42

And isn’t it so funny how easy it is to go and start questioning and being like, well, I wasted time, have I not been productive? And you go down this, this hole and I’ll catch myself. Now I’m like, no, I I’m really showing up the best I can and that’s good enough, and you know, but I I used to not question myself. I’d just be like, oh my gosh, I start these things and I don’t finish them, or whatever. And it’s like I’m. It’s easy for me to shift gears If something’s not going the way I want to go. I see it and I you know that could have gone a different way had I stuck with it. And you know you second guess. And then I’m like, no, I’m asking how to show up for the highest good. How can, how can God lead me astray If I’m just showing up with an open heart saying what can I do? What can I do to show up in the highest expression today?

Supporting Creativity and Finding Beauty

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 37:49

I’m sorry, but if I’m wrong at least I’ve lived trying you know what you can try things, and if it doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean you were wrong. It took me a long. I mean I’ve done woodworking, sewing, cooking, ceramics, painting. I’m sure I’ve tried other things too, and they just weren’t, they just didn’t trigger it for me. I never tried really writing, I never felt I was a writer. But that’s okay too. But it doesn’t mean just because I can’t do certain things that there’s anything wrong with me either.

Julie Hilsen: 38:19

Right, right. We’re all made to shine in our individual ways. So Exactly, that’s it.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 38:24

And I’ve been a good role model for my daughter and I’m so proud of her and the life that she’s leading. So I’ve done a lot more right than I did wrong. Did I do some things wrong? Absolutely, we all have, and have I forgiven myself for it, oh yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 38:42

And you just say, okay, I did that, I wouldn’t do it again. Exactly, you know, as long as you don’t do it again, if you do it again, you just probably failed harder. So then you learn how to bounce back better. Yeah, it’s easy to say there’s no mistakes, but there really aren’t. It’s just compassion and love and saying, okay, that’s, I don’t want, want to show up that way.

Julie Hilsen: 39:06

That didn’t serve me, because any anything that caused harm or pain in someone else is is something you wouldn’t want to do again. And so you know, maybe it was a mistake because it didn’t serve your highest good. But it’s okay, because as long as you don’t repeat it and you own it and you make up. You know how enduring is it when someone says I messed up and I want to show up better, like how can you not be friends with that person? How would you not want to be in a relationship with a person who says you know what? I didn’t show up for you the way I wanted to? Like? How endearing is that to have someone in your life that says I want to be better for you.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 39:45

Exactly.

Julie Hilsen: 39:46

Who’s going to shame you for that? Nobody, I mean. If they do, then you got to run the other direction because that person doesn’t have any self-love and they got to learn it not through you, exactly Like loving yourself and doing the right thing for yourself does have.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 40:02

You know, you have to look at the bigger picture. You know I didn’t run off and quit my job so I could do this. The timing was perfect. You know it was that kind of thing. So it’s all got to kind of line up. I mean you do have to be a little cautious and you have to be paying attention, but that’s making sure all the pieces are the right pieces together and sometimes we’ll get you know, eight out of 10 right. Does that mean you were wrong? No, it just means you need to work a little bit to figure out what you need to adjust and that’s okay. No beating yourself up and no beating anyone else up. This stuff of putting other people down and saying why would you do that? Do you really have the you know what? Support your friends. Support your friends and it’s okay to say things in a nice way if you truly believe that there is a potential harm of some type. But give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re thinking it through and, if nothing else, be a sounding board for them.

Julie Hilsen: 41:09

Well, nancy, this has been delightful and I just realized when I introduced you I didn’t say your whole name, I said Dillingham and I left the marks out. So I’ll make sure I correct that in my notes. And yes, it’s Nancy Dillingham Marks, my apologies. Notes and yes, it’s Nancy Dillingham Marks, my apologies, no problem, yeah, and gosh, this has been such a great conversation and I’ll put a link to your website.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 41:37

And is there anything else? No, this I mean I’m Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, so people can reach out to me a lot of different ways.

Julie Hilsen: 41:43

Yeah, well, great, thank you, and I’m sure that people will have fun going to your website and looking for that special pair of earrings or whatever they’re looking for Exactly, or maybe a stained glass for outside patio. I don’t know, there’s probably beautiful things.

Nancy Dillingham Marks: 41:59

Oh yeah, we have one of our classes making lanterns for outside, and we also have garden stakes that we make for outside, so your backyard or your front yard can be even more beautiful.

Julie Hilsen: 42:10

Oh, and the fairies? The fairies can enjoy that outside Exactly. I love that, Nancy. Well, thank you so much. Thank you, this is so much fun.