Julie Hilsen: 0:16

Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love, where we gather each week to get inspiration, support and just find out how to show up as our best selves. And today is no exception. We have a really amazing guest and he’s going to share with us his story and the way he inspires people as an approach coach and a transformational guide and ceremonialist. So, michael Peterson, welcome to Life of Love. We’re so excited to have you.

Michael Peterson: 0:49

Thanks for having me on. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Empowering Relationships

Julie Hilsen: 0:52

Yeah, well, I was really enthralled with your bio and when we spoke you know, just before we started recording, I knew it was going to be a special message and, you know, supporting our becoming and how you stated that, because I feel like we’re always becoming something. We’re never the same. We’re always developing something in us, and if we’re not, then we might become frustrated and feel stuck. So it’s just such a timely topic of you know, just showing up as your best self, and it’s so in alignment with what my mission is with this podcast and our community that we gather, and so I’m just really excited to pick your brain on all this stuff. Thanks for being here.

Michael Peterson: 1:51

I’m excited to have my brain picked that you know this, this topic of what does it actually mean to be our best selves? How do we go through this process of becoming and not get stuck in the addiction to to arrive at the destination, or get addicted to the stress of always needing to be better, always needing to be better? It’s a really interesting dance within ourselves, and so it’s something that’s always fascinated me, and I love talking about it and helping people go through that process and find their own way.

Julie Hilsen: 2:37

If you’re rushing to get to where you’re going, you’re not, you know, proverbial, smelling the roses. Stop and smell the roses. There’s beauty, there’s admiration, there’s everything around you at all times. You can just immerse into the situation and catch yourself if you’re thinking oh, I got, I just got to get there, just got to. You know, and, and you know when people rush is when they have accidents, and you know things start happening too.

Julie Hilsen: 2:57

You know when people rush is when they have accidents and you know things start happening too fast because you’re not present and you’re, you know. You just, you feel like this tumbling. It makes me think of a tumbleweed, you know. You’re just like, just get through the day and you’re picking up all this crap along with you and you’re just like, and then, all of a sudden, you know the tumbleweed gets blown off the earth and you’re like what just happened, you know, and you might run into the back of someone’s car or, you know, just have an explosive fight with someone you love because you’re just not tuning in. So there’s all these signs from the universe like hello, hello, stop and just get present. So I love, I love how you said that and it’s so, it’s so pertinent. But the hardest thing is knowing when you’re stuck in that pattern, right?

Michael Peterson: 3:46

Yeah, I mean pattern recognition as a whole is challenging, because what’s a pattern? What’s conditioning, what’s just our natural expression of ourselves? How do we discern these things? You know, it could be tough.

Michael Peterson: 4:04

I don’t want to say that, it’s actually super easy.

Michael Peterson: 4:07

But also there’s some steps that you can take that make it really easy to dance with the becoming process of your life, because it’s not about it’s really really really not about okay, I have become and I’m done with this journey right, like, the process of becoming is still unfolding, and how we approach that process is just as important as what that process is teaching us.

Michael Peterson: 4:41

And they feed each other and we learn from both what life is bringing to us and we learn from the approach that we’ve taken how to adjust, how to navigate better, or maybe not better, but in greater alignment with what works for our soul and for our being. And that’s where, for me, it’s all about building a compass. And if we can build a compass that works for us, then when we’re exploring the terrain of our lives, we can say, oh, my compass is pointing this way and this is the boulder that’s in my path and it’s not something that I necessarily need to break down, but I need to move either through it or around it and figure out how to continue following where that inner compass is guiding me, and that’s where I like to play Well, that’s very empowered.

Julie Hilsen: 5:46

When I was reading about your work and I went on your website, what struck me was that we have these patterns or whatever, and sometimes it’s hard to know because it’s just part of our coping or maybe it was how we were brought up or just everything around us with society. But it occurred to me that, like a lot of times, my relationships show me, my relationships become the boulder. Talk to you about that, like how, if you’re not, even if you haven’t identified exactly what you could shift to be more in alignment with the life that you envision right. Like everyone wants to be more connected and more happy and have abundance and share and feel secure and feel safe all the time. But the facts are, no matter how many times you deal with feeling unsafe or feeling lack or feeling abandonment, if it’s something in you, it’s going to come back again and again and, like you said, you need this compass to get you back on track, because it’s just like that’s the human condition. We live in relativity and there’s going to be these things.

Julie Hilsen: 6:59

And to me, the most powerful ways I’ve dealt with these challenges are relationships. Like I’ll get so frustrated with somebody in my life and I’ll be like, oh, that’s what I need to look at in myself and when I can look at it through that lens. It’s helped me work through so much. But how many times I just didn’t think it was me that I missed out on those chances. So I wanted to pick your brain as to.

Julie Hilsen: 7:29

You know, when you’re working with somebody, do you go into the relationships first and have them get a mirror of it, or is it more introspective? And and how do those two dance? And how can you use your relationships to make them more strong and and be more fulfilling? And and just like I, um, I, I adore the idea of, of self-improvement, but then I also I’m so enthralled with the idea that when you improve your whole, the people you interact with on a daily basis also benefit. So it’s like you’re working on yourself, but it’s also enriching your whole community. So it’s just so important to me and I just I adore that you’re in this realm.

Michael Peterson: 8:12

Thank you. Yeah, you know, relationships are wonderful teachers, and so when I’m working people with people, I don’t necessarily start in the realm of relationships. I start with the individual and I say the first question that I ask everybody who I work with is how do you want to be? Say, the first question that I ask everybody who I work with is how do you want to be? And there’s really no warm-up question. We’ve got to figure this one out.

Julie Hilsen: 8:44

Yeah, you don’t have a clear identity of what you’re. Yeah, that makes sense.

Michael Peterson: 8:51

And my job is to empower individuals and help individuals find their empowerment, because once you have the empowered individual, then you can have empowered relationships and empowered partnerships and empowered units and then empowered societies and networks and cultures and it builds up from there.

Michael Peterson: 9:11

But you know, if you don’t have an, if you’re not empowered within yourself, your relationship’s going to crumble, or it’s going to crumble until you recognize where you’re not self-empowered and then you’re going to build that up, hopefully with the support of your partner.

Transforming Relationships Through Alchemy

Michael Peterson: 9:28

But they do act as a mirror relationships and there’s so many ways that I could answer this question right now. But when we understand how we want to be and I want to be very clear here for people who are listening when I’m talking about how we want to be, I’m very much so not talking about what it is that we do. I’m not talking about our vocation, I’m not talking about what we’re doing in our lives. What I’m talking about is how do we want to be in our bodies, in relationships, and the first relationship that we have is our relationship with ourself, and so every other relationship is there to reflect back or trigger things within you, to bring them up. And you know, right before we jumped on this call, you were sharing that your 23rd wedding anniversary is coming up, and I can only imagine 23 years of marriage and the transformation that that has brought on.

Michael Peterson: 10:36

I know that with my wife.

Michael Peterson: 10:39

You know, when you’re in a partnership, a relational partnership, the best ones are sacred, and by that I mean the role of the partner is to be a mirror to support. To be a mirror to support both of your growth and both of you stepping more into alignment with what is true for you. And within that, it’s very rarely you versus the other person, it’s actually never you versus the other person, it’s you and the other person. Looking at the dynamics of the energy between you, understanding that, understanding the role that you play, that they play, how that story is getting created, andment by allowing ourselves to be real and honest with the energetic dynamics, instead of just saying, oh man, I was talking with Julie and she was asking me these really hard questions and it brought up whatever feelings, and that’s codependence. You know, as we step out of that, we are stepping into one, being independent, understanding ourselves, so that we can then become interdependent and just let go and see how these energies are playing off of each other. Does that start to answer your question?

Julie Hilsen: 12:13

Yes, it really does, and you know. And then you, you, you throw children into the mix and it’s just like, oh, there’s so much growth opportunity and so much. You see, you see the patterns that you have in your kids and you’re like, no, you want to protect them and it’s like protect them from.

Michael Peterson: 12:34

what, though, like this is? It’s funny because I was just talking with my mom and and she was going through this big clearing out process where she just had inherited a bunch of junk literally physical junk and she was like michael, I have to get rid of all of this so that I don’t leave it to you to go through, and I think that’s really great of her. Don’t get me wrong.

Julie Hilsen: 13:00

That’s really nice, yes.

Michael Peterson: 13:03

And I’m like cool, you know it would be even better, as if you were doing the personal work around the patterns that you have, so that those aren’t getting left to me and that those get to be transformed, and clearing out those patterns so that I’m not left with it to work on.

Julie Hilsen: 13:23

And that’s what I’ll tell. I’m to the point where I’ll say to my boys I’ll be like well, this is where I am, and I’ll be like I’m just being clear, I’m not blaming anybody, this is how I’m feeling and this is how I can show up right now. So should we continue or should we take a break? You know what I mean? Like and just just being very authentic with with how I’m feeling, and then that gives them space to to feel how they want to feel and show up, how they can show up, and it’s it’s a really wonderful dance with that. And I was going to ask you is this part of the alchemy shift that you talk about, or could you explain what you mean by an alchemy shift, because that’s intriguing to me.

Michael Peterson: 14:05

Yeah, so alchemy is really all about the process of turning lead into gold. Right, if we look either at spiritual alchemy, it’s taking the lead of our life and turning it into the gold of the divine or, if you’re talking about the metal, literally turning lead into a physical gold. What I’m talking about within that is that there’s a misconception in my experience, or it might not be a misconception. It might not be a misconception People get stuck within the spiritual path of getting so etherical with everything that it’s not grounded and you just want to get rid of all the crap that you’ve been carrying so that you can feel free and liberated and light, and that is phenomenal. I think that’s a very important part of the process. But the process of alchemy doesn’t stop with the ether. It’s that through the dissolution process solve et coagula would be the Latin we’re able to recombine.

Michael Peterson: 15:16

That alchemical gold is the weight that we want to carry in the world, how we show up authentically. It has a weight to it. It has this energetic power to it that is still liberated today. But we are free to be responsible to carry it. Instead of being free to do whatever we want and avoid our responsibilities, we feel free to embody everything that we are and go forwards with that denser and yet lighter weight, and so we just have to get rid of what’s not ours, what has been our conditioning right, what is authentic to us versus what is authentic to our conditioning, and through clearing that out, getting more focused, understanding what it means for us to be real, then we get to walk in the world in a way that is empowered, beautiful and in relationship with the mystery.

Julie Hilsen: 16:27

That’s beautiful because it combines the relativity, because we’re spiritual beings, but we have this earthly existence and there are things that need to happen. I mean, you can’t sit around and meditate all day. It’s great to go to the spa, but you can’t live there. You got to go home and make dinner at some point, and if you eat out every day, you’re going to end up with diabetes and be fat. So you got to take care of your things, and so I think that’s just beautiful and it speaks to, like you said, knowing how you want to be, and then your purpose, and then your purpose is driven with this, like, like you’re saying, this alchemy of this is your purpose and this is your why, and and you have things you’re going to need to do, but this fuels your action, your, your devotion of your energy to get it done. Wow.

Michael Peterson: 17:25

And what you’re doing might be the exact same thing, but the approach that you’re taking to doing it is going to be completely different. And so this is where the term approach coach came in for me, and it’s funny. I had a teacher who, when he heard that I was calling myself an approach coach, he said Michael, it sounds like you’re a dating coach.

Navigation Self-Discovery and Compassion

Julie Hilsen: 17:51

And then I.

Michael Peterson: 17:51

Googled approach coach and like the first three websites were dating coach websites and I was like, am I going to change what I it’s like? No, because we are dating. It is a dating process.

Julie Hilsen: 18:03

You’re dating yourself.

Michael Peterson: 18:05

You’re dating yourself and you’re dating the mystery of your becoming. You don’t know who you are, you don’t know where life’s going to bring you, and you know, even when you become clear within what is authentic to you, what it means for you to be real once you’ve gone through kind of a portion of the alchemical process, to say, okay, this is my goal, this is how I’m shining in the world. To say that we know what this world is about, to say that we have the answer is it’s a little bit arrogant, and so we might have an answer for us at the moment, but we are in a constant process of relating to the unknown, which is inherently uncomfortable to our human psyche, and so the work is to become more familiar with the unknown and get to know it better. Like if you say if I might use your, your husband, as the example, julie, if you were to say I know exactly who my husband is, how boring would that be?

Julie Hilsen: 19:17

Yeah, no, I can. I can read his mind sometimes and finish his sentences, but my husband’s very predictable, by the way. It’s so funny. It’s like we are so opposite in that Cause. I’ll be like I’ll do a 360. I’ll live. I’ll live one day one way and I’ll dress differently and like even my body changes. I’ll be like a little heavier and then I’ll get thin again. And you know, I just go through these and it’s even in my, my human and my human design and my and my gene keys. And his is like Taurus. He’s just grounded, he’s my rock and it’s like it’s so beautiful because I need him to counterbalance my flightiness. So it’s just been an amazing and it’s really fun to go through all these different wisdom traditions and share with him. He is not gonna look at this stuff by himself. He’s like doesn’t care. He’s just like give me the game, give me a good conversation, a nice meal. He’s good, right, like, not like bringing up spirituality and mysticism. He’s like, oh my gosh, so funny.

Michael Peterson: 20:27

And there’s something beautiful within that and and you pointed this out right, and I think this is what’s wonderful we can get to know the mystery. We can absolutely gain insight from it, understand aspects of it, especially when we’re talking about the mystery of ourselves. But the problem and the challenge is that as soon as we say that we know the answer, the mystery is no longer the mystery and we disengaged from it.

Julie Hilsen: 20:56

It’s so true.

Michael Peterson: 20:57

So how do we cultivate a way of being that keeps us engaged with the mystery without causing us to be in a constant state of anxiety about the unknown, where there’s still the ability to have authentic self-expression and to be loving, even when we’re feeling like the other person’s being an asshole, and also loving to ourselves, you know, and systems that you pointed out, like human design and gene keys, which I absolutely love? Um, I’m a reflector in human design terms, and so nice it’s like. My job is to be the mirror that’s perfect right.

Michael Peterson: 21:39

It’s an alignment it’s, it’s wonderful and my big and I’m a gene keys guide and so my biggest pet peeve of these systems, which are totally worth studying and delving- into for everybody listening they’re wonderful is when people approach them wanting to be told who they are, instead of invest, instead of using them as this investigation framework and say, okay, how is this informing my discovery of who I am? What can I learn here about the relationship with myself, my relationship with the mystery, with spirit? Choose your word, God, same, same same, and again it’s as soon as we say this is what it is. Human design is the only way to live your life, and you must. If you’re a generator, you cannot do X, Y or Z. It’s like. Well, the entire process is about experimentation. See, it’s like the entire process is about experimentation. And so you know again how can we be real?

Julie Hilsen: 22:49

yeah, and I love, I love that it’s a canvas, right like I, when I started my journey, I had no idea who I wanted to become, because I didn’t even know who I was. And so these traditions and if I could pull up my chart, you know it comes to start astrology. You always know about astrology first and then, and then you look at it and you’re like, oh, does that match? Is that something that’s in my field? And you can sort of like just explore it a little bit and then you can have compassion, be like, oh, mercury’s in retrograde, no wonder. You know, bless my heart, I’m just like trying to get through this day. You know, like it’s okay, everybody’s going through this and and you get insight from the universe as to how freaking difficult it is to even just walk around and breathe some days. So you know, it’s like that compassion for yourself, like you just give yourself a little more grace because you, you understand how is actually going on. And if there’s 45 different characteristics that you have to negotiate, holy crap. You know, like gene keys you name it, I’ll pick up stuff. The mandolins, I mean. There’s so many wonderful things out there.

Julie Hilsen: 24:08

Tea leaves I love reading tea leaves. How fun is that. When you go to, I’ll go to an Asian restaurant I live, you know, I can access a part of Atlanta that’s very, very asian. Like you can’t even find a street sign that is in english. It’s amazing, um, it’s really fun and um, so I’ll go and they, they serve the tea and there’s tea leaves in there, and I’ll I’ll, you know, spin my, my cup and see how it falls and I’ll look up the shape. I’ll say, oh, that looks like a bear. And and I’ll look up the shape. I’ll say, oh, that looks like a bear. And you know, and I look up the tea leaf meaning of bear.

Julie Hilsen: 24:43

And so it’s like I just get a kick out of this stuff. It just makes me so happy to explore it. But then also, it’s like, you know, it just gives you insight into, like I said, how many things we’re navigating and and how, how difficult life can be. And you know just that compassion for yourself, like and saying, you know, this is tough. And to me, if I’m having a tough day, and I say to myself, julie, this is a tough one, I’ve just created space to be allowed to have a hard day, right, like you don’t have to pretend like everything is okay all the time, because a lot of times it’s not, and the minute you say, well, this sucks yeah, and it’s not.

Michael Peterson: 25:28

It’s not a complaint, it’s. It’s like acknowledging the feeling that’s within oneself like and I could have a tendency to pick things apart and to be a professional leader instead of a professional gardener. Right, like I like to look at the flowers too, I will say that in my profession of being an energetic gardener, one of the weeds that is really hard and kind of invasive for people is gaslighting themselves into being better and it’s the.

Michael Peterson: 26:03

I shouldn’t be having a hard day. I should be more capable than this. I should be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then they’ll find some sort of manifestation tool or whatever that completely denies and tries to shift the experience that they’re having, instead of just starting with. I’m having a rough time.

Julie Hilsen: 26:27

Oh yeah, and it’s. I mean, I know I used to do it. I used to play the victim card. I’d be like, oh yeah, this person did this to me. That’s why I’m here. No, it was because I I was just having a bad day and it’s okay. You don’t have to blame someone else. Like, sometimes it just doesn’t line up and you know, and I did notice after a while, you know there’s ebbs and flows and you go up and down and just sort of wait it out, your perspective changes. You know, everybody wakes up in the middle of the night with anxiety about something.

Julie Hilsen: 26:57

It’s just it’s just what happens and you know, I think there’s so much. Like you said, it’s self-gaslighting, that’s a great way to describe it, part of my journey.

Michael Peterson: 27:08

One of the ceremonies that I had was it started with me just being really, really hard on myself. I was calling myself names and and doing it all as a way of motivating me to grow Right and at some point within that experience, there was this very quick realization of oh, this is the voice that I have adopted from my dad. The way that my dad knew how to love me was by being hard on me to push me to be better and push me to grow and encourage me to be my best. So this is the expression of love that I have inherited. I’m being hard on myself because I love myself. Is it being effective?

Julie Hilsen: 28:03

Yes, do you want to hold on to that, or is that just garbage, right?

Michael Peterson: 28:07

And the answer was it wasn’t effective. The challenge was okay, but I don’t know how to love myself if I stop doing that, and so Because that’s your childhood.

Julie Hilsen: 28:17

Yeah.

Michael Peterson: 28:19

And so you have to enter the state of where I had to, and I would put forth the idea that when we are going through any sort of change or transformation, we have to pass through the unknown until we arrive at the lessons that that transformation is trying to invite us towards right. Like the caterpillar has to completely dissolve when it’s in the chrysalis and it doesn’t know it’s going to be a butterfly.

Exploring Personal Growth and Self-Discovery

Julie Hilsen: 28:48

It’s so scary, right, it’s so scary to dissolve. I mean, yeah, no wonder we have. We have anxiety. It’s scary.

Michael Peterson: 28:57

And, and then you know, when we’re seeing somebody else go through the process, right then we have to find this restraint within ourselves Because you know, as the caterpillar goes through its transformation and it’s there and it’s pushing out of the cocoon, and we watch. You know, our partners or our friends struggle with some things and we want to help them or guide them or whatever it may be. If you help a butterfly open its cocoon, it might come out and it’s going to be beautiful, but it literally gains the strength that it needs to fly through the struggle of opening its cocoon. So, within ourselves, what’s the right amount of struggle? What’s the right amount of being willing to accept support? How can we support ourselves? How can we support our community? Then we’re going to project and share and put a bunch of stuff on other people and we will all learn from that.

Michael Peterson: 30:10

I don’t want to say that that is bad, right, it’s just the process. And then we go through the process of unwinding that, of learning, of seeing that pattern and then unwinding that aspect of it. So it’s iterative, it’s expansive, it’s paradoxical, it’s fun, it’s painful, it’s beautiful because it is beyond words. And that is the process of alchemy.

Michael Peterson: 30:46

And it’s worth it because you end up with gold. It’s just, there’s a treasure on the other side, you know and it’s, it’s like an adventure.

Michael Peterson: 30:49

You’re going on. You’re going on an adventure. You’re not going to know all the twists and turns. You don’t go on an adventure knowing all the twists and turns. You know it wouldn’t be an adventure otherwise. So there is still this aspect of relating to the unknown within ourselves, within others, within life, that there’s something so innocent about it and yet we carry so much weight and we’re so hard on ourselves about getting to that destination and turning it into something and creating something, when in fact it’s already been created and our job is to steward it into existence and steward it into its blossoming. And that’s what we’re in the process of doing when we go through these journeys, at least in my perspective.

Julie Hilsen: 31:44

And do you think these like gene keys and human design, do you think that’s proof that it’s all laid out in front of us already? I always wonder, because if we’re all here to fulfill a role that only we can do, like we have a unique signature to show up and we’re feeding the whole, is that validation that our signature is so unique that you know the way we interact with these things is a? I don’t know it’s a tool, but I just always wonder about that.

Michael Peterson: 32:23

For me. Well, first of all, before I answer your question, what is your human design?

Julie Hilsen: 32:29

Oh, I’m a generator.

Michael Peterson: 32:31

What are your, what you know, what your lines are.

Julie Hilsen: 32:35

For my gene keys? Sure, yeah.

Michael Peterson: 32:38

Like, like. Are you like a five, one, two? One, three, yeah, I know, I think I think it’s six, two okay, cool, so you’ve gone through this long long journey to get to this expression of cool oh yeah I’m teaching and you, oh yeah, you’ve. You’ve learned all the lessons along the way. Right, I’m a five one, so that’s very much. So I’m going to investigate something, and then here’s what we’re going to do to make sure it works.

Julie Hilsen: 33:06

Yeah, I’m supposed to not know everything. I’m not supposed to focus on my book learning, I’m supposed to just be natural be natural and let it flow. But I, I love to learn. Like I, I’ll open a book and I don’t want to finish. You know, I don’t want to stop reading until it’s finished. So I, I can’t be the expert, I have to be the explorer.

Michael Peterson: 33:28

And then the role model, right? And to answer your question of, do I think that these things and these systems are validating? Perhaps, you know, do you need validation or do you need liberation? Right, you know, both, I think, are possible. From interacting with these systems, you might discover something in whatever gene keys or human design chart reading that you have says that validates something that you just need to be seen, and that is amazing, right, that it can give you that feeling of being seen.

Michael Peterson: 34:10

At the same time, I think that one of the most beneficial components of those two systems is that they liberate you from the weight of being like everybody else. And so both of those systems say look, you’ve got your own energetic system. You are going to have your own unique expression. You don’t have to worry about being like everybody else. If you are a projector, you shouldn’t be. Worry about being like a generator. If you are a generator, you should not worry about being like a manifestor, but whatever it may be.

Michael Peterson: 34:46

And then, once you’re in your own design, you can talk to other generators you could talk to, I could talk to other reflectors, but my chart is very unique to me, everybody’s chart is unique to them, and so while there’s you know the way that I describe Gene Keys it’s like a playground of contemplation. It gives me things to explore and dive into with myself and see what sticks and what doesn’t. And maybe I like the monkey bars, maybe I like the slide. There’s different approaches that I can play with there. And human design is like understanding what type of car you might be driving and if I’m driving a really cool sports car and you’re driving something that’s an off-road, like mountaineering, can-go-everywhere-in-the-world sort of car, they’re both really cool and human design. It’s about what I don’t like about human design, but it’s also part of the system is it’s about accepting your design.

Michael Peterson: 36:14

Right, and my design is literally based around not letting anybody tell me who I am, and being a heretic, paradoxical Gene Keys opens up a lot more of an introspective contemplation around these things. But they’re experiments. If somebody from those communities were to tell you this is who you are, this is how you operate, this is X, y and Z. You know, if something resonates with you, great. If you want to try on that hat for a while and play around with what it’s like to live by your strategy and authority, you might learn something.

Michael Peterson: 36:38

But you have to experiment with it and you have to engage with it and it’s going to be your own journey that teaches you, not what somebody else said, and it’s going to be your own journey that teaches you not what somebody else said. You know your history teacher in high school can teach you all about. You know the dynamics and cycles of history, but until you’re out in the world it’s all just mental and we’re in a process of embodiment. Embodiment, and how do we embody and move past just this mental level to and the emotional level, to embody the spiritual energy that’s coming through and to allow ourselves to fully radiate that from every single cell of our being. I think that’s a question.

Julie Hilsen: 37:27

Yeah, and to me I just like going in there and being like, well, seems like this is a shadow I’m having. Let me look at the gift, let me look at the city, let me you know the highest expression of this shadow could, because it’s all continuum and it’s all okay. It’s not bad to be in your shadow. It’s just your choice at that time of how you want to perceive. And to me it helps me like orient to where I could go, and sometimes I want to stay in the shadow. I’m like I’m good in the shadow and it’s okay, totally fine, because you got to run it through.

Embodies Practices for Personal Growth

Julie Hilsen: 38:04

So that’s what I love about the gene keys is just the whole idea that I can look at something and be like, oh yeah, that’s a shadow. And I can look at someone else and be like, oh, they’re playing in their shadow and it’s okay, like I hold space for them. And sometimes if you just tell someone what you see, they might get mad because they don’t want to hear it. But a lot of times they’re like, yeah, you get me and and that’s that’s sort of fun to fun to be a person, to just see someone else and be like you got this because I see what you’re going through and it’s just, it’s temporary. Nothing’s forever unless you’re done living, and then you’re not becoming anymore. Then you don’t have to worry about being creative or showing up for your, your highest good. You’re not becoming anymore, you’re.

Michael Peterson: 38:51

You’re in the other ethers and that’s good too, yeah, and like being that clear mirror when you’re, when you’re reflecting back to somebody what you see, right, if I’m reflecting back to you and I’m giving you all of my own judgments and conditioning, I’m like you know, julie, when I see your shadow, I’m letting you know.

Julie Hilsen: 39:14

When you get punched in the face is what’s going to happen.

Michael Peterson: 39:17

And thank God somebody needs to punch me in the face sometimes. My sister can attest to that from growing up.

Julie Hilsen: 39:26

Shut up.

Michael Peterson: 39:27

Michael Shut up to that from growing up. Shut up, michael, shut up. And that’s why, like you know, my, one of my, my core practices is listening. Right like my I don’t know if, yes, it’s a framework, right like I have be real, it means its own thing, but within, when we’re being real, we can flow, and that means that we’re able to feel, we’re able to listen, we’re able to be in a process of opening and we’re able to be in a state of wonder.

Michael Peterson: 39:59

And when we are listening to ourselves, to the internal and external environment, whichever way we process that through, when we’re listening, it requires us to have a little bit of quiet from all the noise of our own mind. It’s talking over everybody, it’s talking over the universe and if we have the right space, we can listen to the mind. And if we have the right space, we can listen to what’s not just our mind, and that allows us to start being discerning and discriminating about. Do I need to reflect in this exact moment? Do I actually need to say, hey, you’re stepping on my toes, please?

Julie Hilsen: 40:44

stop.

Michael Peterson: 40:47

Boundary. Boundaries are really not about anybody else, right? They’re about boundaries, are not about keeping other people out, they’re about keeping you in.

Michael Peterson: 40:58

And I forget who said it, but I loved that line and I was like yes this is my container for me and it doesn’t mean anything prescriptive about you, but I might have an insight about that pattern and that behavior that I can then recognize within myself. And we get to craft that and see that. And when there’s sticky stuff, yeah, we can do energy work. We can bring in the gene keys and see if that unlocks something. We can go for a run or move our bodies, do some qigong, yoga, you know, prayer, whatever it may be. There’s different ways to unlock these patterns. I just like energy work because I like being very detailed and saying okay, what’s going on? Let’s get into the energetics, let’s clear out the energetic portion so that it filters into the rest clear, cleaner way, in alignment with the being that you have decided in relationship with the mystery that you would like to be.

Julie Hilsen: 42:18

And that means that I just have to get out of the way and just to know that’s possible, and just to know that’s possible, that it’s not something reserved for somebody who’s clergy, or you know, it’s not a profession, it’s a divine right. Yeah, to access that and holding space for that it’s huge. I mean, that’s something that I don’t think we were really talking about 15 years ago. This is, this is beautiful energetics that we’re in and around right now.

Michael Peterson: 42:54

There’s. There’s so much new and old wisdom that is being released and available now that it can be slightly overwhelming. And this is where you know, having a guide, having spiritual friends helping us navigate through this terrain, can be useful, but we still have to navigate it. You know, if we’re going to go to the gym, we can get a personal trainer. They can’t work out for us, though, you know. So, within all of this beautiful thing that’s coming through, yeah, how do we get to that recognition that everything is sacred, everything is every experience? Is there this whole entire idea of original sin and this like separation from god that we must repair ourselves? It’s like, well, hold on, where did that come from?

Julie Hilsen: 43:57

I know, I know, and I have to interject because I’m listening to this audiobook right now. It’s called conversations with god and I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this. It’s a really. There’s three volumes. I’m listening. I’m in the second one. This man was just like God. What’s going on, why he’s asking all these questions and all of a sudden, someone tells him in his mind get a piece of paper, get a notebook, get a. You know what’s that called the yellow, the yellow flip pad.

Michael Peterson: 44:29

Oh, like a legal pad. A legal pad.

Julie Hilsen: 44:31

Sorry, I couldn’t think of it Get a legal pad and a pen and he just started writing out these conversations with God and that’s what he’s going through. He’s going through, you know, who told you that I wanted you to suffer, that you were shameful? Why would I create something and then be ashamed of it? You know and like, and God’s being just so clear to this man. His name’s Neil.

Julie Hilsen: 44:55

I can’t remember his last name, but it’s conversations with God. It’s, it’s amazing and it’s just like. So, you know, is it, is it really God talking to him? Well, I don’t know, but a lot of the things I’m like, yeah, why would God want us to be, you know, why would we, why would there even be sin? Or why would God create something that that is wrong, Like, if he’s the ultimate creator, then then then why would he want us to feel bad about anything? You know, because his children, you know, and that God really just wants us to call him father, and that makes God melt. The creator is a father and whether it’s source energy, God, however you identify with it, it’s still creator energy, Just to be like, honoring that. It’s inside of you because you’re alive and breathing that we’re all divine, yeah.

Michael Peterson: 45:54

And owning it, and and I, I it’s funny because my mind immediately goes to the? And yeah, there’s. You know, when we feel shame about something, there is such a thing as healthy shame, and that’s because we’re operating from a place of. Oh, I realized that I was out of alignment with my being.

Julie Hilsen: 46:18

You missed the mark, right, I missed the mark and that’s okay.

Michael Peterson: 46:23

We don’t have to hold onto that shame or put judgment around it because we’re working towards these things. It’s also not an excuse to continue missing the mark ad infinitum.

Julie Hilsen: 46:35

Right, well then you get this karma all around you. That you’re like doesn’t matter, anyway, you’re creating this world, yeah.

Michael Peterson: 46:41

If you are aware that you are missing the mark and you just say, that’s cool, I’m just going to keep missing the mark because I’m like, okay, that’s great, can you admit that you do not care that you are missing the mark? Can you be that level of authentic with yourself? And and if you’re like you know what, I just don’t care that I’m missing the mark because I’m doing this, this and this and this is where I’m at, that is a great foundation to start at.

Julie Hilsen: 47:12

That’s really cool. That’s really cool Because that’s accountability, that’s movement, it’s awareness.

Michael Peterson: 47:23

Accountability to my lack of accountability is a beautiful thing. It’s like I don’t care about this thing right now, because oh and it’s permission. It’s permission, it’s conscious living Right, right.

Michael Peterson: 47:38

So you know it’s my. If you go to my website, the essence of it, right, is all about being real. Essence of it, right, is all about being real. And if you look at the definition of real, it’s all about being genuine or something that is a truth. Right, in my definition, it’s a somatic expression. This is my compass. It’s like when I’m real, I’m relaxed, I I’m engaged, I’m authentic and I’m loving. That is a dynamic expression because it has these pulls in it, right? Oh, okay, I’m engaged, I’m engaged, okay, but I’m not relaxed anymore. Oh, okay, so I’m overly engaged or I’m utterly engaged. How do I be authentic with wherever I’m at and navigate that?

Michael Peterson: 48:31

And then the things can flow, I can feel, I can listen, I can open, I can be in wonder, and if I’m flowing, then I can be real there. They work together. And what I feel like is really important within all of this and maybe useful to your listeners, is that we have to get out of just the mental realm around these things as beautiful as contemplation is, as beautiful as thinking about esoteric subjects and exploring them as we have to get into practice and you have to engage and work these things within your body and work the facets of your physical and energetic body so that you can be real. Otherwise, you’re just sitting on the sidelines saying, oh, that’d be cool and it’s great, that’s great too.

Michael Peterson: 49:23

But understand that when we practice in a way, I have a way to practice too it’s called practicing magic, right, and when we’re mindful of where we’re at, when we have a practice that’s adaptable to who we are in a certain moment, when we are being gentle with ourselves. Which means that if you are used to going a hundred miles per hour, slamming on the e-brakes and going to zero is not a gentle movement If you’re at zero and you’re stuck slamming on the gas and going up to 60 miles per hour in 3.2 seconds might not be where your system is at. So be gentle with where you’re at, adapt, be mindful and find something that’s inspiring to you to engage with and that helps you connect to something more than yourself and that helps you connect to yourself. And that’s the basics of it, and then you can just be real and navigate life in a way that works for you. The words can change, but the essence is the same.

Julie Hilsen: 50:28

Love it and can you give a shout out to your website? So everyone I the essence is the same Love it and can you give a shout out to your website? So everyone. I’ll put in the show notes too, but just in case someone’s listening and doesn’t have time to look at the show notes.

Michael Peterson: 50:37

Sure, yeah. You can find out more about me and my approach at wwwalchemyshiftcom.

Julie Hilsen: 50:47

Nice, well, that’s perfect. Thank you for all the pearls of wisdom and pearls. We got jinky pearls in there and this has just been delightful. I loved exploring and reflecting. Thank you for showing me what you showed me. I appreciate it so much.

Michael Peterson: 51:07

Thanks for having me on, Julie.

Julie Hilsen: 51:09

Anytime.