Julie Hilsen (00:07)
Hello dear friends and welcome to Life of Love where we gather to explore our curious minds to see what our life of love looks like today. So I’m just so happy to have your ears. Thank you for tuning in and sharing these messages. I really, I know that when we can spark curiosity in our hearts and live in our joy, it adds to this light grid that’s surrounding this earth and it makes a difference.

No amount of curiosity and joy is too small. So let’s let’s try to find that today as best as we can. We’re all dealing with with old man winter on our backs right now. So unless you’re you’re halfway around the world, but but my my part of the world is very cold. So thanks for huddling up and maybe you can share a cup of tea and we can relax and have some girl time. So I’m really excited to bring forth today’s message.

Our guest is an adventurer, a writer, she’s an explorer, and she is all about helping people reach their joy and sharing how she’s arrived at it and in supporting people who want to trust and go deep into their ability to be confident, be self-sustaining, and explore, explore whatever they want to explore.

So her metaphor is the wilderness, it could be yours could be something totally different. So I hope you can take this and use it for your highest good. I’m just gonna get settled in my space. And as you know, if you welcome new listeners, I set forth an intention and my old listeners, you’re used to me doing this, but I’m just gonna center in my heart and ground my feet into dear mother earth.

Thank you, God, Goddess, universe for bringing me to this space for the resources needed to bring forth this message and collaborate. think I think every synchronicity and blessing that came together to bring us together to this moment and Miss Belinda is is such a gift. I’m so happy to have her and I invite her team.

her angelics, the elementals that are with her on her adventures. If they wish to collaborate with my team, I invite that in to create the space. And I hold this. And it’s a beautiful, wonderful space that that we’re helping to make. And I’m asking for a message for the highest good for each listener to be supported and loved and held.

and knowing that they’re safe and they are held and we’re all held. And I ask that there’ll be small signs and synchronicities to let people know that they’re held and Mother Nature is close. And yes, this is so. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so honored.

to be here right now and I look forward to the messages that are coming through for us and through us. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

this piece just came over me when I started thinking about what we’re going to do today. everyone, Belinda Coker,

Belinda (03:18)
Okay.

Julie Hilsen (03:24)
Let’s get right into it because I’m so excited and we have so much to share. the main thing that we said we wanted to talk about was, you know, midlife and this this juicy place of transition. And I want to call it juicy because all of a sudden we can look at ourselves. So let’s start there that this precipice of of not being here to take care of everyone else so much.

Belinda (03:41)
Yeah.

Julie Hilsen (03:54)
but having a lens to look at ourselves and how your experience in the wilderness and reclaiming adventure helped you with that transition. Just such a great story.

Belinda (04:09)
Absolutely. And before I start, Julie, thank you so much for having me on the show again. What a beautiful introduction. I just I feel at peace. I’ve just like, do I need to talk? Can I just sit here and listen? ⁓ so, yes, midlife is a very interesting time. I mean, it is such a complex time. We are, you know, our wisdom and our experience. Everything has just

Julie Hilsen (04:18)
I don’t know.

Belinda (04:37)
is just so much more larger than it.

than

it was when we were in our 40s or 30s and life was just racing and you know, when we younger we kind of, knew it all. You know, we were just the world heroes and it’s quite funny when you do actually sit back and know, take and you know, reminisce and really have a look and explore where you’re at at the

moment

and I actually did that in 2020 so that was it was during the pandemic whether or not it was a you know lots of people sort of got to that stage during the pandemic but I think it’s really important that people do this quite often it was kind of like forced upon us during the pandemic to take a good look at ourselves but I you know my my children were we were discussing briefly about you

you know, when you’re you and your mother, you know, there might be certain seasons of motherhood where you’re just like, oh, you know, this is hard work, you know, you might have a 13 year old, you might have a, you know, you might have someone who’s this or someone who’s that you might have a toddler, you know, and, and, you know, I was usually pretty good at taming toddlers in the supermarket, but some, you know, sometimes you just have you just have a wild child. And, you know, sometimes, you know, certain seasons of motherhood can be quite difficult.

And I’m not saying that at the time my season of motherhood was difficult, but I felt spent. So I was really involved with my work. I was a single mother. I had three children. They were all at home. One was university and the other two were the last two years in high school. I’m a year apart.

And I can remember just feeling spent, just looking at myself. I mean, yes, I was doing yoga, but I would turn up on the mat and I wasn’t really present. My mind would be thinking about a zillion other things. I probably wasn’t eating as well as I should be. I was, instead of trying to ground myself in other ways, I would go,

okay so it’s after work, glass of wine time you know and yes glass of wine time is good but it’s not when it’s used as a crutch and I, no I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic but it was, I wasn’t taking charge of my life and sometimes when you’ve just, when you’re hit with so many things ⁓ for an extended period of time and that might be also

Julie Hilsen (06:51)
Okay.

you you

Belinda (07:14)
you

know, the repercussions of a not a nice divorce, you know, all sorts of things. might have bereavement, you might have all sorts of things going on and compounded everything can at some stage feel too much. And that’s how I felt. So it was kind of like a bit of a burnout.

Julie Hilsen (07:21)
Mm-hmm.

Belinda (07:35)
and I took a long look at myself and I thought you know I really need to do something. I was 55 at the time, I turned 60 on the trail I was going to keep on saying last week, last month and then I’ll go gosh is it three months gone already and I you know and it’s one of those real turning points you know the menopause was kind of over and

was almost like I didn’t really have an excuse anymore. And I looked at myself and I thought, you really need to change, or something needs to change. And when you’ve got kids in those last couple of years of high school, yes, they’re needy for certain things, but they still want to be driven around if they haven’t got their learner licence or their P plates, their licence.

But they still, they’re still looking at you as if to say, I just need you for the food and the transport and that, and apart from that, I’ve got it all. I’ve got it so sorted. So I wasn’t feeling needed. And yeah, and that was a big thing. So I hadn’t hiked for about 35 years. I was born in New Zealand, 10,000 hiking trails in New Zealand, if anyone’s interested, some of the most wonderful hiking in the world. Got loads of information on it on my,

Blogs, Trader and I joined a meetup group and I went for a hike and I went for a hike. I was the youngest person on this hike. It wasn’t a long hike. It was 17 kilometres, maybe about 12, 13 miles, but it was down a deep gully and up the other side and

everyone else in the group was 70 or 80 years old and they were fit and they were young and they were vibrant and they had this energy and I looked at them and I thought I want that I want that I want what you’ve got you know and

Julie Hilsen (09:29)
youth. They were they’re climbing up the ridge and you were like the youngest one but you didn’t feel like you’re the youngest one.

Belinda (09:30)
Yeah, this, this… I like…

I was huffing and puffing behind them and I felt like the kid on the side of, know, sitting on the, what do call them in America, the bleachers, you know, the seats on the side. I felt like that kid, you I really was. But the thing was, it was a hike in the beautiful rainforest and this rainforest was kind of a bit, it had avatar vibes. It was just beautiful. was emerald green dripping with water.

water,

know, vines and it was beautiful, the old snake coming out and you know. And so it was, and that was what really got me. I got home and I just felt renewed. It was just, you know, it was just that whole.

concept of being outside and just it was like the rainforest was a giant sponge and it had soaked up all my stresses, my anxieties, all my negative thoughts and you know I just got home and I just thought wow I just feel amazing you know far better than you know if I go and do a hot yoga class or a walk along the beach or whatever it was something entirely different yeah.

So that was the start of my journey.

Julie Hilsen (10:50)
That’s so beautiful. that whole idea that you took that time and it was in your native land in New Zealand, which is on my bucket list. I so want to go, especially after seeing your blog. I mean, it’s just like, it’s amazing. And so yeah, that wilderness effect of, I love how you said it was like a sponge taking the negativity. It’s true.

Belinda (10:56)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen (11:16)
I have actually two friends that I hike with and both of them, they get communication from trees. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence and they don’t know each other. It’s not like we joined a meetup group, let’s talk to trees. But both of them has shared messages that they’ve gotten from the trees with me. And I just want to hold space for the idea that nature

Belinda (11:28)
Right.

Mm.

Julie Hilsen (11:44)
communes with us. And it might not be with our words that we use our left side of our brain. It might be more our right side of our brain, this part of our intuition, this part of our knowingness, our connection, that is so easy to push away because it’s not in our face. It’s subtle. So is that part of the wilderness effect that you’ve discovered on all your travels? I mean, guys, she has a hike the Arctic Circle. She’s gone across Greenland. I mean, this isn’t like

Belinda (11:46)
Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm.

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen (12:13)
This isn’t a hobby, this is a life. I mean, this is so inspiring.

Belinda (12:17)
⁓

Look.

I am, whether or not it’s the land talking to me or, you know, but I just feel this insane sense of peace. I can be hiking in the wilderness. I can be camping out by myself. mean, I’ve got this great photo of my tent perched on the cliff top. I’ve just been hiking in the Canary Islands, which is a 500 kilometre, 350 mile trek through the Canary Islands, a group of islands off the Western Sahara.

Africa.

And I’ve got a a photo of my tent perched on a cliff top in the clouds with just surrounded by green trees and the clouds and this huge big valley in front of me and it was just

you know for me that’s that’s that is you know it’s it’s almost like you know transcendent it’s transcending you know to to a higher a higher place but i do have one really interesting story to tell you can i do story time

Julie Hilsen (13:14)
Mm-hmm.

Sure, please, yes.

Belinda (13:24)
So I was hiking in the red centre. So Australia’s red centre, it’s not called the red centre because it’s hot, it’s called the red centre because it’s red, it’s red soil. Yes, it does get hot, but it can get quite cold in the winter, it’s the desert.

And the most iconic photo of the Red Centre is one that a lot of people would have seen. It’s a large rock called Uluru, also known, previously known as Ayers Rock. right in the centre of Australia is like the heartbeat of Australia. It really is.

I mean, sorry, Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane, all the cities are kind of like the pretty bits, the necklace, you know, they’re just the glitzy necklace around the edge of Australia.

And I was on this one particular hike, know, it’s quite a long hike and again, probably about 250 kilometres, 170 miles. And there’s one part of it called Stanley Chasm. And Stanley Chasm is, just putting it into perspective, Australia’s first nations have been wandering the lands that, you know,

sort of calculated that they’ve been wandering through the lands, know, for 40,000 years. I mean, that’s a long time. We’re talking about, they’re one of the oldest indigenous people in the world. And some of these, some of the gorges and the chasms on this walk, you know, have been in use for 30,000 years. And you can actually see, you know, hand prints and artwork, you know, along some of

the walls, it’s pretty cool. So on this one particular place, I can’t remember, I can’t remember the Aboriginal word, but you know, the Arunditi people are the traditional land, whole land, traditional land people of that area.

And there’s this one and Sandi Kazim is for women only. So that was where women went for initiation. That was for when, you know, they were taught things. you know, they learned medicine and that Kazim. was just amazing. It’s only about 10 foot wide and about four stories high. So it’s, you know, it’s pretty high and narrow. And so about three o’clock in the morning. And I wasn’t in a very good relationship at the time that I was there. And I

I woke up at three in the morning and I decided to go for a walk.

And the moon was, it was full moon, so I didn’t need a head torch, I didn’t need anything. And there’s a part where the men were not allowed to go any further. And I remember looking to my left and seeing big dark rocks, like really big dark rocks. And I felt, I just felt this really uncomfortable, like I was being judged. It was almost like a horrible feeling. And I just like,

really felt uncomfortable walking past this and I I got into the chasm and the full moon was coming straight down and I’ll send you a photo of this, actually took a photo but I felt like and I can’t say how many but you know I can’t put a number on it but I felt almost like a hundred women putting their arms around me and saying you’re okay you’re okay and just this healing this healing

spiritual feeling and you know it might have been you know I can’t put a number on it because you

Julie Hilsen (16:49)
And that peace of having the reverence for that space. I I pictured a womb. mean, it’s narrow and high and you’re held and that’s sort of what I pictured. And why, I guess it’s three o’clock in the morning, but a lot of times that’s when spirit tries to reach us is three o’clock in the morning. Have you ever noticed that?

there’s more times than not that I wake up at three o’clock in the morning. it’s not like their spirits not calling me to go wander, but I’ll wake up and it’s all quiet. And it’s like, I guess that’s where our subconscious can try to reach through, or our guides might be tapping us or giving us a hug. And it’s not scary. you definitely felt this portal, like,

Am I, I be here? Is this dangerous? But that sense of trust kicked in. And I really would like to explore that, that trust, because you’ve, you’ve really taken risks with your life. I mean, you just had hypothermia and, that idea that you’re held and, your instincts are going to lead you to what you need to be safe.

But I think a lot of people have a hard time even conceiving of spending a night alone in a tent. I mean, how did you build that trust in your self-reliance to say, it’s going to be OK. The bear is not going to come and rip away my tent, or there’s not going to be a big gust that take me out over the clouds, my tent over that cloud. I mean, there could be a million phobias, right? But I think you said your biggest phobia is a possum.

you

Like a drum.

And I imagine there wasn’t a path. It wasn’t like, here, go this way. Linda, just head this way.

Yes, I know. I know it’s a it’s and it you have that experience to share and and let someone else know that you know, even though it’s off the coast of Africa, the temperature can drop, you can have rain and and I started when I was reading your blog as like, oh, I never, you know, I’ll go on a day hike. But you know, I’m I might bring my water bottle and and I do have

I like to bring this little knife. I don’t know why I just bring a knife just in case. It’s just, it has a sheath and you know, it’s just empowers me that, you know, even if I needed to cut a branch, I have a utility, you know,

but there’s so many things that you suggested that I had not put in, you know, like, even a first aid kit, I might bring a couple band aids and a tissue and some toilet paper just in case,

Things happen fast. So what I hear you saying is you started out slow. You started out with groups. You started out, you you didn’t camp. You didn’t set up camp by yourself. You had a campground you’d go to and, and you planned it. And so that that’s how you built up to where you are now, where you’re, you’re okay solo camping. But, but yeah, that’s a, it’s a great tip. Anything that seems scary to you, take it little steps by little steps.

And I think that’s, and that’s also that it resonates with menopause, right? Like anyone who’s feeling like their body is failing, that they’re sluggish, that they’re slow, that life is just bearing down. Or you look in the mirror and you’re like, my face, where did I get all these wrinkles? Like, how did this happen? Like you were just 40 and things were great. And all of a you’re 50 something and things are changing and.

like, the heck’s going on? But being in that feeling and trusting that feeling, like, you feel heavy for a reason. And then, and you also had some experience with, with lymphatic drainage and, and, you know, health. And so it seems to me, our bodies tell us, you’ve got to move and in the power of your, your feet hitting the earth and taking up the

the impact of the earth and climbing and putting that resistance under your body. I was just reading in a book, says it activates hormones. Like growth hormones are activated when you do resistance, when you climb, when you stress your body in a physical way, but not stress, but not like not emotional stress, just like I’m going to do this. I don’t have to conquer the world in one day, but that

taking one step at a time and adding your resistance and gaining power. It resonates so much with me and the times that you’re going through menopause and your bone density is starting to change and you notice your muscles aren’t as strong. But can, step by step, can build that up again. What was your experience with that body neutrality and just

starting where you are and getting away from the shame and the judgment and getting to the feeling better, the solution part. Can you give us insight into how you did that with the lymphedema?

you said your partner was at the time wasn’t supportive and and you felt judged. And, you know, that’s another example of thank you for the clarity like, you’re, you don’t love me for who I am. So that freed up time and space for you to have other relationships to

explore and not invest in somebody who didn’t deserve your time and attention. so yeah, and you know, that following your gut, like saying and standing up for what your gut is saying, even if you don’t even understand what your gut is, you know, it’s like, sometimes I’ll just get like this upset stomach feeling. And I know, even if I can’t express it verbally, I need to

to separate myself from the situation that whatever it is a person the situation but it’s taking me a lot of knocking my head into a wall when I’ve ignored that and you the consequences of that and you know it’s it’s you you judge yourself like why are you so you know just get over it you’re fine you know and when you when you diminish your gut your instinct and like you said this

everything comes back to your gut and it affects your mind. You know, it’s like, oh, you know, like, I don’t know why it takes us so long to figure these things out or takes me so long. But there is clarity in that moment of rejection and and cherishing what you bring to the table and getting this idea that your identity is in how people accept you or, you know, your identity is

whatever you decided is that day, that’s part of living life in dreams is deciding your own identity. Like don’t let someone else tell you what your identity is.

And then you say, thank you body for protecting me from that, that situation. Like that was, that was your body saying, okay, no. Oh, and I, it’s really fun to go back and look at times in your life that you’re like, well, that did not turn out the way I wanted. That was not what I expected. I was let down. But this whole other

thing is available because that thing flopped. And so that comes back to trust. you

Yeah, well, I just, appreciate all your insight into this

So I encourage anyone to go to Soul Treader, your website, I’ll put a link in the show notes because it is such a beautiful site. you can find out about what Dear Belinda is doing and where she is in the world and you know,

it’s just great advice, like she like she has that book, but also, there’s different topics you can look at and resources and we haven’t even talked about how you’re helping with making water accessible to women in Africa, which is dear to my heart. My I have a friend who works for a nonprofit water called Water is Basic. They’ve been helping people in Africa too. So I mean, there’s so much there’s so much to talk about. So happy we had this time.

Thank you so much.